Thursday, June 21, 2007

Worship Space Modification

Hello. Your Reverend Timothy Plarvik asked me to place a post on this Blog. I will do so and then comment. The post he asked me to make for you is in reference to the website Everything You Knew is Wrong which he has banned as PH, C, T, O, NC. But he noticed on this website that there was a picture of a very liberated altar with a beautiful coffee-pot. As the author of that website did not know where to obtain such a coffee pot, your Reverend Timothy Plarvik would like to ask all members of the Faith Community to search the internet and any stores that they may know of. The picture of the coffee pot can be seen at This Posting.

My comment is this. Did you know that Mormons do not drink coffee? I am offended on their behalf by the idea that your Reverend Timothy Plarvik would bring a discriminatory fluid onto the Spirit of Vatican II Catholic Faith Community grounds. Also this coffee pot has a cross on top. The Cross is offensive to moslems, and also to Jews and others. But I am not the Imam of this place. So you must do as your leader instructs.


Bartholomew said...

I found an appropriate coffee pot for our sanctuary. You can see it here.

Anonymous said...

My suggestion is to use the insulated coffee pot as a water cooler. (Imagine that!) Dixie cups could be stacked upside-down over the cross, thereby concealing it.

Choruses of "Come to the Water" could then be taken literally, which would (1) allow people of low educational level to understand the message that they belong at the altar and are therefore church, too; and (2) sound very hospitable overall, don't you agree?

Also a water cooler might be very handy for baptisms. Just hold the baby under the tap! (You guys don't really believe in holy water, right?) :)

XXXXXX said...

Dr. al-Fakkir,

Agent Jones, who I believe you met in Turkey sends his regards. He hopes that you weren't too angry about the whole "detainment" thing or the questions he asked.

By the way, you need to come and fill out some more paperwork--your visa is about to expire, and we wouldn't want to have to deport you.

Agent Smith,
Department of Homeland Security

Anonymous said...

I have bad news. It's not a coffee pot. It's a holy water reservoir. See|304477|304489|304692&id=164116.


Yes, I'm keeping my eyes on you guys! You are SOOOOO pathetic. WAit until the prayers catch up with you!

DigiHairshirt said...

Will we have to don the "sacred undergarments" of the Mormons as well?

Cathy_of_Alex said...

Doc: From the looks of your photo, the LAST thing you should be drinking is more coffee.