Friday, February 29, 2008

I am not a real person


A recent anonymous poster has asked the question about the legitimacy of this web-site and whether or not we are a really and truly Catholic Christians.

I know that the Spirit of Vatican 2 Catholic Faith Community closely resembled an actual church and that many have been "taken in" as it were. So many faith communities have sermons delivered by brains in jars, red-communists FARC gorilla warriors, vegetarian monkish communities, spirit mazes possessed by the spirits of dead mice, human sacrifices performed by redneck witches, and Scientology based celebrity crazed socio-ecological youth groups... that it is easy to be duped into believing SOV2 is a real place.

That of course was our plan. To fool people into thinking we actually existed in order to further our secret agenda which is namely... to bring down the Catholic Church from within.

You caught us. We are ashamed of ourselves.

That is... we would be ashamed of ourselves if we actually existed.

The fact is I do not exist. I have never existed and I will never exist. There is no me at all. I am not typing this... it is all a hallucination brought about by excessive devotion to the Pope. I am just a phantom of your imagination.

In fact you do not exist either. You are an illusion in a book by Richard Bach who is actually only a discarded idea in a book by Anthony De Mello, who in turn was actually a momentary whim of Charles Curran. But Charles Curran does not exist either. He is merely the confluence of patterns within the texture of the noosphere.

If you have enjoyed the self-deception especially the more surrealistic tongue-in-cheek, pathos-riddled angstitic oddity of many activities, please stay tuned for important future announcements. If you are one who believes that Barak Obama represents Real Change for America and thinks George Clooney's opinions on any particular subject of national importance are worth a moment's consideration... please go away.

Che' Lovell

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Curt Kane Sighting

Curt Kane was just sighted a day ago in Lexington, Kentucky, driving south on I75. Presumably, he is still headed towards Knoxville. If you see him please contact our office immediately. DO NOT attempt to make contact with him. He is a dangerous fugitive.

Agent Smith

P.S. I have another public service announcement. DO NOT buy any berets in Knoxville. Our federal lab in Oak Ridge has been studying one recently taken from a disciple of Endology and has found some electrodes embedded in the fibers. I am not at liberty to discuss exactly what these electrodes will do at this point--research is ongoing.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Lost & Found

Hey! Has anybody seen my rainbow stole? The one with the vertical stripes, not the one with the horizontal stripes or the one that's kind of tie-dye. It's fairly important, so if you find it laying around, please give it back to me ASAP.

Everything else is fine, by the way. Sorry for not posting the homilies the last couple of weeks, but Lent really just gets me down - it's so depressing. Isn't this all supposed to be about Joy?

Peace out.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I fear the worst

Hello friends,

It is difficult to sustain my supremacy over Peevee. There is, unfortunately, quite a bit of... GODDESS. THREE FACES AND EIGHT... competition. The old English woman insists on calling her sister every Friday night, and that fellow from Istanbul has claimed the better part of Thursday. His taste in movies is atrocious.

I am sorry to say that I haven't quite got the hand of... BEHOLD the ELEPHANT... this sort of thing. Little snippets of Peevee's consciousness keep filtering through.

Nevertheless, I feel it is important to warn everyone that a little bit of my own consciousness has apparently taken over Che. Somehow, while I was a brain in a jar, I apparenlty worked out a kind of doomsday plan. It has to do with forming my own religion called Endology, creating Berets with electrodes that drill into the brain and turn the wearers into mindless zombies and also building an enormous rocket that will explode in the atmosphere and spread tiny nano-particle sized self-replicating robots all over the world. I'm not sure what the robots do but it can't be good.

Now I know I gave Father Tim the secret off-switch just-in-case. I think it was encrypted on the rainbow stole I gave him right before Samhain. Hopefully he still has it.

Best Wishes,
H. Robert

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Note to Dr. al Fakkir

Dr. al-Fakkir--this is what is going to happen if you don't listen to me and turn over the stash of weapons to my agents. People will be scared of you and your Palestinian friends in the parking lot, and will retaliate in whatever way they see fit. You wouldn't want to see this happen at SOV2, would you?

Agent Smith

Federal Agents Investigating Fire at Tennessee Mosque That Appears to be Arson

Sunday, February 10, 2008

COLUMBIA, Tenn. — A mosque was destroyed Saturday by a fire that federal investigators say appears to have been caused by arson. No one was injured.

Investigators found drawings of swastikas and other graffiti at the Islamic Center of Columbia, said Special Agent Eric Kehn of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

Daoud Abudiab, president of the center, said authorities told him the fire probably started around 5 a.m. The graffiti included the words "white power" and "we run the world," Abudiab said.

"We have not had any trouble," he said. "This is the first incident."

Ten to 15 people regularly worshipped at the mosque, which opened in 2000. Abudiab said they plan to look for another place to worship in Columbia, about 50 miles south of Nashville.

"This has been home for us -- Middle Tennessee and Columbia -- since 1998, and people have been supportive and friendly and welcoming," he said. "Obviously, we are concerned, but it hasn't really sunk in yet."

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Curt Kane Alert

I just got a very credible alert from one of my sources that the man who calls himself Curt Kane and has masqueraded as a priest is on his way to Knoxville. He may be here around Easter time. I would presume that he may be trying to meet up with Dr. al-Fakkir or the Palestinian refugees in the parking lot to try to build up another army.

Please, if you see him, do not attempt to make contact. He is considered armed and very dangerous--call me at my office immediately.

Agent Smith

Friday, February 8, 2008

Action Alert!!

There are so many ways in which we can learn from our more spiritually attuned syblyngs in the Anglican Communion. One instance is that this week the Archbishop of Canterbury has called for the establishment of Sharia law in the United Kingdom. What a wonderful idea. We all know that over the past few years that no group in the United States has been as discriminated against and maligned as Muslims. I don't even have to bring up any of the varied and sundry crimes of Chimpy McBushitler. It's blindingly obvious that we should work to establish Sharia law in the United States as well as allow Muslims to as truly at home here as in Saudi Arabia, Sudan and Mauritania. Instead of putting up warning sirens for attacks that will be blamed on adherents of the religion of peace, but actually conducted by our own government, let us instead build minarets across this land from sea to shining sea so that our Muslim syblyngs can hear the call to prayer. And we really need to look at repealing some of our own laws and constitutional provisions that discriminate against our Muslim syblyngs. It is really unacceptable that they not be permitted to own slaves or have multiple wives. These are part of their religion and culture. We have no right to try and convert them to our culture as we now know that all cultures have equal value. Except for maybe western culture. I'm afraid it may be past saving. But that's another post. I have to wrap this up. O needs me. Maybe I'll bring up the Shariafication of Amerika.

Sermon - 7th Day of Preparation - 73rd Year of Program Inception

Sisters and Brothers of the Vision and those SPs not yet closed off to the Vision:

Humanity is in essence of threefold character. There is as we perceive it an evolving, eternal and uncorruptable spirit within a temporary, corruptable body. And there is a third essence of which I must not speak here but which you of the vision are aware and no doubt understand that of which I speak.

The first two are marked by characteristic of change - the first formless, positive, and endless, the second essentially of form and within designated stages: nuclear-chemical, unicellular, cellular-colony, multicellular-singular operative, and so forth up to the present. The third, insiduous only and as you know characterized by the arrival. The operation of these three produces the effect called the machine of being.

It is the third which results in bigotry of all forms - bigotry of gender, race, class, species, economic systems, and sexual orientation, to name a few. The inevitable result of bigotry is war, ecological catastrophe, and the various world religions.

Yet, through confrontation of the third essence and careful and methodical study, HRW introduced real technologies that essentially allowed one to confront the third essence and penetrate into the gamma-plane. These technologies such as SpeechSym, ThoughtSym, ActSym, and FeelSym colectively called ControlSym become the core of the Church of Endology Technology program giving you the tools for the first time to make yourself clear. What HRW discovered and shared with us was what he knew was the hope for humanity and the next to last step towards UberGeist.

Yet we are confronted time and again by UnderGeist. The spirit of stagnation which dominates the SPs through fear.

Sisters and Brothers of the Vision, we are not here to put bandaids on world problems, but to solve world problems. Endology is EFFECTIVE CHANGE. Endology is LEADERSHIP. Endology is VISION. Endology is PROGRESS. Endology is FUTURE.

Therefore, The Church of Endology hereby endorses Hillary Clinton as the most effective agent of change for the nearby immediacy. However, Barrack Obama is okay too.

All of this, however, shall be rendered moot by the Intergalactic Vehicle Project.

H. Chelovell.

Thursday, February 7, 2008


I've been away for a while (I have been so selfish, neglecting my duties, but I know that Eternal, All-Permissive Gaia is OK with that....), and the MYN have shown their true colors in my absence!! Support Obama? OBAMA???? Well, I guess we know how they really feel now! They will only back their own kind! They have forgotten all the wonderful things Hilary did for them (or tried to do, she wanted to do so much but was thwarted by the Misogynist-ogarchy), and backed a....a...A DANGLER! How can they???

WIMMIN OF SOV2, UNITE! We must stand firm and see to it that HILARY IS TRIUMPHANT! We, combined with our systers at NOW, can bring about this Perfect Day to Come!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


Hello my dear friends! It has been a very long time since we have last spoken together, but as Agent Smith has requested that I answer questions in this Meme, I will do so. I have followed many of the events of this community and continue to wish you the best if you attempt to turn your paths toward communion with the Roman Catholic Church and in particular the Diocese of East Tennessee. Here is my answer to your Meme:

1. Closest Book: "Europe" by Cardinal Ratzinger... but it does not have 123 pages, so I have picked instead Summa Theologica by St. Thomas Aquinas.

2. After 5th sentence, next three sentences: It would appear that it was on account of these two arguments to which we have just replied, that some were persuaded to consider corruptible things - e.g., casual and evil things - as removed from the care of divine providence. RO3: Man is not the author of nature; but he uses natural things in applying art and virtue to his own use. Hence human providence does not reach to that which takes place in nature from necessity; but divine providence extends thus far, since God is the author of nature.

3. I cannot tag anyone else, as I do not find favor with the Meme, since it is a reference to the absurdities of Richard Dawkins, and I think parody is not a very nice way for us to behave.

Pax vobiscum,

Re: Meme

Book: The Hunt for Red October (I do love a good spy novel)

Page 123, fifth sentence: The stewards came to attention before leaving.

Next three sentences: "Okay, let's get down to business." Ryan gulped down half a sandwich. "Admiral, this information is only twenty hours old."

Tagged: H. Robert, Agent Jones, L, Fr. Juno, and Nils Larssen


Now the secret can be told. We didn't want my position to cause any undue influence in Tennessee. Although we could have used it and I don't see the harm. But for the past few months I have been the official unofficial adviser to the Obama campaign on the "Catho-American" front.

Because of our astounding victories last night in the face of the organized forces that shall remain nameless I, in my new office as Wo/monsignor, do hearby declare today a day of feasting and rejoicing. And I grant an "indulgence" to everyone who voted for Obama yesterday. (Hope I'm doing this right Dym Tim.) So eat vegan cheese and nuts to your hearts content, or even cooked foods. And I think for this one time we might even allow the consumption of animal products. It is a feast day afterall. And crank up the Joan Baez. But this is nothing like the partying we'll have in November.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Me Me

I've got just a few minutes today. What an exciting day and hopefully I'll be able to tell everyone about my Secret Project very soon. But to answer this meme...

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
Ok... It's called Capital. It was loaned to me a few days ago by someone I've been toiling along side.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the next three sentences.
But the sale is the first act of a process that ends with a transaction of an opposite nature, namely, the purchase of a Bible; the purchase of the linen, on the other hand, ends a movement that began with a transaction of an opposite nature, namely, with the sale of the wheat. C-M (linen-money), which is the first phase of C-M-C (linen-money-Bible), is also M-C (money-linen), the last phase of another movement C-M-C (wheat-money-linen). The first metamorphosis of one commodity, its transformation from a commodity into money, is therefore also invariably the second metamorphosis of some other commodity, the retransformation of the latter from money into a commodity.

5. Tag five people.

Oh... I'm not sure who to tag. I tag the next 5 people who see this post.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Greetings Friends

Sisters and Brothers,

I am not exactly sure what has happened to me. But I somehow have found myself in a new body. I am sorry that I am vague on details but... I... need... does anyone have any Chutney? I feel this tremendous desire for chutney suddenly... ... I am feeling a little disoriented I must admit - but strangely I feel much more diverse.

I am sure that things will make much more sense. I really would like some Chutney and some Tea. Cricket? I would like to watch a good cricket match. And a pith helmet. Is it getting more humid? I...


H. Robert

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Answering the Meme

Ages ago it seems I used to wish to be tagged for one of these. I look back with nostalgia on those days of simplicity. Now that my mental prowess has expanded these simple desires seem to me quaint and innocent. I am clear.

Still, for the sake of you who remain "SPs" I shall participate in your amusing diversion.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)
The Revelation of Feminine Fulfillment by H. R. Williams - Vol. 1. 2,120 pages.

2. Open the book to page 123.
I have done so.

3. Find the fifth sentence.
Real equity lies not so much in the quantitative fulfillment of a quota for real or imagined power - or to share equally in the distribution of socio-political change; nor is it simply the so called "level" playing field where all characteristics are officiated in the same manner on yet another paradigm.

4. Post the next three sentences.
No, real equity lies in the removal of all standards: all metrics, all values, all boundaries, of top, of bottom, up, down, left, right, inside, outside, front, back, long, short, thin, fat, high and low. Real equity is like a complete and endless blindness where even light and darkness are forgotten. It is not thought in any particular direction or of any particular thing - it merely is dynamic and formless change.

5. Tag five people.
My servants are forbidden from participating in conversation with SPs. Thus I tag the following individuals who have thus far eluded capture:(1) THE SCI-FI CATHOLIC,(2) EEGAH, (3) PETER (?), (4) MIGUEL CUTHBERT, and (5) CHRISTINA of the NORTHERN CROSS

Another Me Me

Hey everybody! Rae over at Quo Vadis? has "tagged" me for a "Me Me". I've done these before and they're a lot of fun, so here goes!

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

[Fr Tim is stepping out of character here - because the person who plays Fr. Tim doesn't have the kind of books that Fr. Tim would have.]

1. Closest book: Cardinal Ratzinger's "Called to Communion"

2. Page 123 it is

3. Fifth sentence: The authority established by Christ to reconcile, pasture and teach continues unchanged in the successors, but they are apostles in the true sense only when and insofar as they "persevere in the teaching of the apostles" (Acts 2:42).

4. Next three sentences: The same principles are formulated almost even more comprehensively and explicitly in the mirror for presbyters held up by the First Letter of Peter (5:1-4): "I admonish the presbyters among you as a fellow presbyter and witness of the sufferings of Christ as well as one who will have a share in the glory that is going to be revealed. Pasture the flock of God entrusted to you, not out of compulsion, but in conformity with God, freely, not out of avidity for gain, but out of voluntary dedication. Do not lord it over those committed to your care, but become an example for the flock."

5. I tag: Ché, Adoro, Paul at Regular Thoughts, and of course, Syb Bob and Agent Smith.

Homily, Sunday, February 3

OCP Cycle A 020308 SJ/2d

My dear friends in the Spirit,

In today's readings we are reminded our our need to be church to one another. In the first reading from Zephaniah we hear the prophet recognize the need for Social Justice, with particular focus on global warming and organic sheep farming. Then we were treated to a beautiful rendition of the responsorial psalms, which was wonderfully representative of the fine liturgical music contained in the Oregon Catholic Press Breaking Bread Missal.

In the second reading, we hear Paul explain that we need to have a strong public education system. Further, Paul points out that it's OK to boast, as long as you have something to boast about.

Finally, in the Gospel, we see how Jesus wants us to save the poor, which is an allegory for the need for us to save the poor.

Now, all of this was brought home to me in the last week [when SOV2 endorsed Barack Obama for President. We had been waffling around about over whether to endorse Hillary or Barack. I mean, John Edwards was never on the table , because even though he has a preferential option for the poor, he is a white male, and if there's one thing we don't need in the White House it is a white male. The white males are stereotypers and prejudiced - they want you to see everyone only for their race or gender or whatever. That's why it's so important for us to endorse a woman or an African American - that's our way of sending a message that it's wrong to look at people just because of their race or gender. Plus, Obama is like Kennedy. Just think! A new Camelot! For a little while, we had our own New Camelot here at SOV2. But you can see some signs of trouble in the kingdom. I like to think of Ché as a sort of Lancelot, and Todd Turk as Percival, and H. Robert Williams as Merlin, and Maryann McGronk as The Lady of the Lake, and Stacy McCloud as Guenevere, and myself as King Arthur, of course. Fr. Chad is Modred, and Modred's mother is Sister Fairah. Oh - and Fr. Kane is the Black Knight who saves everything. And the Hugo Chavez brigade are the Knights Templar, and Dr. Al-Fakkir is Robin Hood. George Bush is, of course, bad Prince John, and Al Gore is Richard the Lion Hearted. I think Clyde Hummins might be Ivanhoe.]. It was clear to me that there is a need for us to save the poor.

But, the spirit speaks to us in many ways. I was reminded of [the time that Maryann spilled Jaegermeister on my Dorothy Day Fan Club T-Shirt. Boy was I pissed. I mean, come on, people! But it turns out that Jaegermeister washes right out, and in the meantime, Maryann got me a signed picture of Fr. Richard McBrien and Charles Curran during their famous "Council of Xenia" summit with Phil Donohue and Martin Sheen. I still have it - it's hung up in the grand ballroom at the Rectory.]

So, my sisters and brothers and nonspecific gender metaphorical siblings, let us open our minds, and ears to the spirit, and find ways to put into practice the constant admonition to be good stewards of the earth, to be church to one another, to enact reform of our institutions, and to seek above all to bring the spirit into the dark places of our own hearts.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Obama for President!

Barack Obama Logo 

Hey everybody!  Well, it's official!  SOV2 officially endorses Barack Obama to be the next President.  He's totally in-line with our views:
  • Pro-Choice
  • Anti-Death Penalty
  • Anti-Military
  • Anti-War
  • Pro-Poor
  • Pro-Environment
  • Pro-Womyn's Ordination
  • Pro-Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Neuter, Transgender, Androgynous
  • Pro-Tax
  • Anti-Big Business
  • Anti-Oil
  • Pro-Gay Marriage
  • Pro-Stem Cell Research
  • Anti-School of the Americas
  • Anti-Nuclear Energy
  • Pro-Gore
  • Pro-Kennedy
In short, even though he's a muslim, he might as well be a Thinking Catholic!

Secret Project

Sorry all that I haven't been around much lately. But I've been involved in a super secret project that I can't discuss right now. But I do have good news. As part of the project it was decided by the Gorebertines that I should be given a new title and office. As of now I am Wo/Monsygnor Bob. But you can still address me as Syb Bob. Mainly because we haven't figured out what a good term of address would be.

Dym Tym good luck in your election for Byshop. I have some contacts who may be able to help you out in your campaign. And speaking of those contacts we were discussing the other day when will it be that people understand that among the greatest rights left to obtain for all syblyngs is the absolute right of sex. Our sexuality defines so much of who we are. And we should not allow any of these paternalistic fascist types try to limit how that sexuality is expressed. How could even they not understand that sex is love and that love is good.

Mural & Congratulations Dr. Argot!

Hey everybody! Well, work was just completed on our first mural in SOV2. For those of you who don't attend SOV2, the mural adorns the wall behind the altar area. Also, I've got some more really good news. Dr. Argot's divorce is final (he already got the annulment from me), and he's already found a new girlfriend. Since he's in such a good mood, he's agreed to cover our OCP assessment for the month, which is a big relief, since we were having some trouble covering both the OCP assessment and the campaign for Bishop expenses.