Hey! Well, boy, am I worked up about this whole Motu Proprio business. But we can't let this distract us from being church! Let those Vatican Stormtroopers try to push some funny language down our throats! It won't stop us from making a joyful noise! To prove it, Todd has allowed me to publish the lyrics to his new hymn, which will be played for the first time at our Ecumenical Picnic with the peoples of SSLI faith community. As a matter of fact, Todd wrote Verse 3 specifically as an ecumenical welcome to the peoples of SSLI. Can't wait for the picnic!
CALL US OUT
Todd Turk, Good Intentions Publications, Copyright 2007
[Verse 1]
I watch Mother Dawn arise
with my happy pilgrim's eyes
and my eyes well up with tears of happy joy
For the Spirit has begun
descend on each and every one
make a priest of every little girl and boy
[Refrain]
Call us up, call us in!
We were born without sin!
We all want a little piece of the Lord.
Call us in, call us out!
Let us gather 'round and shout:
We are Church! Let us sing the Happy Word
[Verse 2]
We are blind and cannot see
but no matter: Church are we!
We will lead each other through the spirit maze
Like those pots and kettles black
we will call each other back
And we'll raise the roof with rolling rounds of praise
[Refrain]
[Verse 3]
Let us all be like to sheep
Wolves for pets we will not keep
And the sun will knit our tablecloths anew
You can keep your latin mass
We've bags of tea (it's tea not grass)
To be Church, we've got to have tea in our brew
[Refrain]
[Refrain]
23 comments:
Oh Wow! Does this mean the picnic is still on???? I soooooo want to go!!! I can already hear your new song being sung to the tune of “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad"
I also don't like the "ass" comment ... I'm old school enough to think it's really not appropriate. I wish we could add something about green tea. but There's NOTHING Muscial in me (other than liturgical dance, of course) so ignore me.
I am glad that we can agree that Neo-Catholics are a serious problem.
George told me he is looking forward to playing Palestrina.
-Fr. Chadwick LeJanvier, SSLI
Pssh! Vatican Stormtroopers are merely the rejects of the HKTTC!
I fully intend to ride into your faith community's JiffyPop building and slash not only your burlap banners to smithereens, but your bongo drums as well!
Sing a new church into being, will you? You'll be singing a new tune when my sword and I are through!
It's been a busy week for me, but I have some good news--we just caught one of Curt Kane's associates trying to flee to Mexico--He didn't think that anyone would be looking for someone going the other way. I recieved vital information from Adoro te Devote that led to his capture, and it's only a matter of time before we tighten the net around Curt Kane himself.
I'm on my way back to Knoxville from the Texas Panhandle right now. Sorry that I will miss the picnic, though Che has promised me some doubles from the pictures he takes.
Agent Smith,
Department of Homeland Security
PS. Che: you should hold off on that protest you were planning--security will tighten up after the attempted attacks on London
Thanks for the info Agent Smith. Oh Yah! How much longer do I need to keep that microphone thingy on?
AND HEY MR CRUSADER GUY! I've got two words for you "Bring it on" because we'll do to you what we did to that East Tennessee Rationalist fella Mr. Hitchens and I don't think anybody has heard from him since Keith traded him for a six pack of miller light and some aspirins. I mean, you'd have to be STUPID to mess with Maryann McGronk or Sister Fairah.
Che'
Che,
I shall especially enjoy bathing in your blood upon my arrival. I usually prefer to 'hang, draw, and quarter', but in your case I think I shall 'quarter, hang, and then draw'.
Death to the heretic scum!!!
Che, leonard,
I would say you two were behaving like wild animals if that were not such a homocentric statement. The fact is wild animals almost never behave in such crude and bellicose ways. Need I remind you that you both have pretensions to being followers of the sovereign of peace? As I always say, there is not a problem that can not be solved by a few tears and a warm hug.
Let's talk about your fears. Brave women and men admit their vulnerabilities. Leonard, why don't you go first? Why is that you are so afraid to confront the eternal feminine? Why must you mask your true self behind this foolish pseudo-masculine bravado?
H Robert
(sniff)Gee Robert, no one has ever actually cared about my feelings. They've always been interested in what I could do for them. I mean, I guess all this "knight" stuff is really just like a call for help! I think it all stems back to my father not loving me enough. Sometimes I feel like I should just hang up the armor and take up knitting. Maybe even share a little wackyweed now and then with Sr. Fairah, just to take the edge off...
What? Yes, I would like a little hug. Ah, thank you Robert, I feel so safe and affirmed in your embrace that I--AH HA!(sound of metal scrapping a scabbard, followed by a gargled scream).
MWAHAAHAHA! Foolish hippie! Why do you look so surprised that my sword is up to its hilt in your chest? I am like the Turk, who pretends to be a friend to the Venetian before he sets fire to his ships. Or like the Persians, who, well, act dastardly, as Persians are wont to do. Now I plan to castrate your lifeless corpse and make YOU into the eternal feminine!
Who's next? Robert's godless blood shines clear and bright on my blade, and I'm not ready to put it away just yet!
Well, I think Robert had it coming after he called you and Che homopennies, or homocents, or something like that.
Leonard,
You seem very angry. Your fixation with swords, ships, fires, and gruesome impailings suggests that it might require more professional help than I am qualified to administer. You might consider discussing this with a certain Agent Smith. I know I have his business card around here somewhere...
H Robert
What new devilry is this? Robert speaks from beyond the grave? I killed you, you hippie swine! I watched your lifeblood trickle down my sword and onto my gauntlet. My hunting hound feasted on thy entrails, and worms encased themselves in thy rotting carcass!
Hell's blood, but these are unnatural heretics! You chop off their heads and a day later they arise anew, like some diabolical Modernist weed. Now I know that thy 'Faith Community' is of the Devil, for ye practice his dark arts and bring ye dead alive from their Stygian abode.
Listen now, hippie heretics, and listen well. I will chop down a legion of Agent Smiths, Modernist hydras, and any all wizards, warlocks, and witches to defend the Truly True Church. I will kill Robert once again, and again, and keep killing him, until thoust all at long last recant, kiss Fr. Chadwick's ring, and beg forgiveness for thy apostasy.
Cordially,
Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC
'Heretic Head Collector'
I'll bring the large stakes, ropes, and dead branches if you (Sir. Rev. Knight,) promise not to tie me to any of them. This would get a lot of hits on YouTube.
Excellent, hidden one. I like your pluck. Are ye a member of the Truly True Church of Knoxville, TN? (I'll check with Fr. Chadwick's list, so don't try to fool me.) If thou be a true believer, then you have nothing to fear from me. I harbor no ill will in my heart for the faithful of the Society.
This would get a lot of hits on YouTube.
Yes, indeed! What better way to strike fear into the hearts of apostate scum like this 'SPV2 faith community' then broadcasting heresy trials via the interweb. Excellent! Keep up this kind of thinking, and you may yet be asked to join the Holy Knights of the Truly True Church.
Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC
'The Gleaming Sword of the SSLI'
Hey! That Sir Lenny guy is definately not welcome at the picnic.
Sir Lenny: Nope, I'm not a member. I'm not quite sure why, but I got excommunicated. Of course, I was never in communion with the Truly True Church or any other faction or splinter group of the Church, so I still don't think it's valid.
I do like Latin, though, so I can't be all bad.
Well Mr. Crusader Guy I just got to say that you represent all that old "we're cool and you're not" stuff that is so anti-church. Because your all about opressing the indigent peoples and giving to the rich and defending tyranny and stuff. And even though H RObert is FULL OF IT because he thinks he's too good for Julia Roberts and things and doesn't even believe in body thetans which I know are real because I don't have any (and I bet your loaded with them crusader gut)... uh... I forgot what I was going to say... but that doesn't matter because your all about killing people who aren't knights and are unarmed and stuff and if you ever read a book or something you'd know that knights can't do that because that's unchivalrous so YOU ARE A BIG FAT FRAUD POSER!
Che'
I have yet to meet this Sir Feeney, but he sounds like an honorable man. He reminds me very much of Fr. Anderson, who I miss having as my associate as he battles against the Chaldeans. Fr. Heidrich has a gentler approach which I don't particularly care for.
He better be invited to the picnic or I may have to withdraw my participation. You wouldn't want to be perceived as intolerant, would you?
-Fr. Chadwick LeJanvier, SSLI
hidden one,
Foul fiend! How dare thee lead me to believe thou mighst have been a saved member of the Truly True Church. You shall not be numbered among the quick once I arrive in Knoxville.
Fr. Tim,
I will most certainly be unwelcome at the picnic. But I will be there nonetheless! Do ye think I could turn down the chance to be near both heretics AND redhot coals? The combination of those two elements has proven most pleasing in the past.
Che, I actually am full of body thetans. I think I got them from that buxom wench in Constantinople back in my evil and wicked days, before I was ordained a priest by Mel Gibson and setup my own independent chapel(this was some years before I consecrated myself in knight-monk vows to the service of the Truly True Church). Those pesky body thetans, they make it hurt to pee. My cross to bear as penance for my earlier youthful indiscretions and bawdy dalliances, I suppose.
Thank you, Fr. Chadwick, for standing up for my rights. Typical Modernist heretics, they are all about "toleration" and "unity thru diversity" until someone brandishes a sword and begins slaying people. What about my right to self-expression? My paintbrush is my cutlass, and my canvas is the chests of thoust heretics.
Che's comment made me pull out mine Code of Chivalry, and I findest that in Article 101, Section 28, subparagraph D, it stateth: "If ye come upon a merriment or carnival of the pernicious heretic skum, thou shouldst wait until after the festivities are completed. Thou wilst find that the heretics, full of meat and wine, will be slow-witted and flacid. They make for easy sport. Thou wilst also find that the wine dost make their flesh tender, and thy sword shall slice through it without dulling." As I am a chivalrous and honorable knight of the Knoxville realm, I shall delay my execution of divine justice until AFTER the picnic has completed.
Cordially,
Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC
'The Gleaming Sword of the SSLI'
Hey, Crusader Guy,
Sorry about your body thetans. I feel bad now cause I had something kind of like that and I know how that feels and so, I guess your probably not all that bad.
Anyway, I'll tell you what the night before the picnic a bunch of us are going to Toddy's to have a few drinks and play darts. I figure your probably pretty good since you probably practice all the time and stuff. And I know this girl who is all into Renaissance fairs and she played D&D and... well...
Anyway, hope you stop by.
Che'
Che,
Though I am not prone to feasting with heretics and their thetan-filled wenches (foul fleshpots!), I thank ye for thy charitable invite. It proves ye may have a bit of the Truly True Church within ye.
Since I consecrated my soul and my sword to the service of the Truly True Church, I have given up alcohol and darts (unless the target is a heretic.) As is required by the Vow of Flagellation, I now spend my nights in self-mortification using my battle mace on mine back.
Cordially,
Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC
'Heretic Head Collector'
"hidden one,
Foul fiend! How dare thee lead me to believe thou mighst have been a saved member of the Truly True Church. You shall not be numbered among the quick once I arrive in Knoxville."
Knoxville? I'm not in Knoxville. (And I'm not telling you where I am, either.)
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