Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Hey Everybody!

Hey! Well, I had a really nice week over in Maggie Valley - I really needed to get my head back together after that whole "real new parish" thing a week ago. It was really cool. They had a seminar on whether Marty Haugen or David Haas was the best musician ever (we all had a good laugh about that one - it's like asking if grape kool-ade is better than strawberry kool-ade!) There were a lot of really neat exercises that I can't wait to bring to SOV2. And just wait until you hear my homily for Sunday! I've got a doozy in the works!

Now, for some unpleasant topics. I see there has been quite a hullabaloo here while I've been gone. Someone exploded the rectory, and I have been told that was Keith's friends who had some sort of "Math Lab" that went wrong. I'll say this just once - I don't want anyone doing math on the SOV2 campus grounds!!!!

In addition to the exploded rectory, I found the following note from my good friend Fr. Curt:


Well, I stuck it out here as long as I could, but I have to tell you that the parishioners here at Spirit of Vatican II are not the most welcoming bunch. No sooner had I arrived than they started bickering and fighting, and they were very unhelfpul on all the programs I tried to run. I hope I didn't cause any trouble by leaving early, but I had to get back to my mission parish at Molly's Butt.


PS: I found a bunch of gold cups and things under your bed. I could really use these to feed the Appallachian Poor, so I left you some clay cups that some of our indiginous peoples made. Also, we didn't have a stereo system or lounge chairs - I knew you wouldn't mind if we took these also. And we had a sort of tacit agreement that in exchange for covering for you in your absence, I could have all the available parish funds - I hope you don't mind but before I left we emptied out the bank account. There were a couple of bounced checks you should look into. As we were leaving we also noticed a really nice green-power mower that our parishioners will just love! Thanks again for your generosity to the poor. See you at the next conference!

Well, I have to say that I'm very disappointed in you parishioners. Fr. Curt was here to help out while I was out, and it looks like you were very mean to him. Was that being church? I don't think so!

But hey! Let's not get all hung up on negative vibes! After all, I could go on for days being mad about the explosion in the rectory ruining my collection of signed Marty Haugen LP's. But I won't! I'll just rejoice that Che, Keith, Todd, Eugene, Sister Fairah, and Maryann are back and we can all be church together!


Anonymous said...

Welcome Back, Fr. Tim! I for one am glad Fr. Kane's five-day plan is over

EegahInc said...

You know, I just bet those clay cups that nice Fr. Curt left behind are made from Bentonite or some other type of healing clay which have been used by indigenous cultures since before recorded history. Please be sure to have everyone lick the cup as they come forward for communion.

Anonymous said...

WELCOME BACK... Fr. Curt's version of events wasn't exactly accurate. Tood, Keith, Che, Maryann, and the rest will fill you in. Don't get hung up on our not "being church" with "Father Curt!" His sense of church... well ... left something to be desired. It is so good to have you back! We need to celebrate!