Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Turkeydeath Day Horror

The first annual Operation Turkey Freedom has been suspended. It is a small and grizzled group here with me after our first strike. We have learned much over the past 24 hours. Did you know that most turkeys are killed and shipped off to the merchants of death long before the actual Turkeydeath Day? As we swept onto our target there were not as many turkeysyblyngs on the "farm" that we would have expected. But then we had our biggest shock yet as the group that was there charged us and began scratching and pecking at us as we tried to gather them towards freedom. It was only later that I was able to understand what had been done. Obviously Agent Smith tipped off the Reagan-Ratzingerist Cabal to our plans to liberate the oppressed turkeysyblyngs. They then spent the time before hand hypnotizing and brainwashing our fine feathered fryends and teaching them to attack the vanguard of the ecosyblyngs. The depths of the perversity of the RRC and the misogynistic federales. What evil minds would train these noble beyngs in the ways of Turkey Fu or Poultry-jitsu? So we have managed to regroup and are scratched, torn and battered. Still the DLA will carry on the fight against the humyn oppressors. Although probably without myself as I am obviously needed back at SOV2....

So a Happy Turkeydeath Day to the reactionary latinist radtradys and such. But syblyngs of good will be assured that we will prevail.


ignorant redneck said...

mi nuncle sayd nextest tyme ya'll git on his farm he's gonna let the turquoies et ya.

thin he's gonna shoot ya.

I'd be kerrful cause after he shoots sommbody he gits mean wif em

Ima Perile, episoposa said...

Syb Bob--

We at the Gaian Harmonic Convergence have the solution to the human oppression of our Mother, the Earth.

It is quite simple--develop artificial wombs, clone only enlightened females, thus eliminating the humano-phalic virus that infests the earth.

Then we womyn will be free to evolve to our natural, spiritual state, and leave the earth free of the corporal presence of Humans.

Oh--we have reclaimed taxonomy, and the only true name for the human species is Gyno Sapiens.

You aren't part of the solution, "Syb" Bob--as a y chromosome mutant, you are the problem.

Father Tim said...

Hey, Syb! Great job anyway -remember, it's the thought that counts, not the act. As long as you have good intentions, then everything is AOK.

I'm sure that as the turkeys returned to the Life-Spyrit, they were praising you names.

B. Rose Carnahan said...

Don't you understand Stockholm syndrome? The turkeys are deluded into believing that the farmers OWN them. They're so brainwashed they'll never believe that no creature can own another no matter how many times you explain it to them.

John Michael said...

Hey, this is interesting information. In the SOV2, can you show me a passage in that great council's writings that supports the defense of the turkeys?

Much Thanks(giving),
John Michael