I know a lot of people think I misspelled meditate but that's not right. Medidate is a real word. Its this thing where you meet somebody else who is into meditation and you sit together without talking and see if your auras can mesh together. To be honest I think it's pretty stupid but I have got a lot of dates with these really cool girls like this.
Well when I get back, there's this big sattelite thing on top of the roof of the apartment next door which has been empty for a while and there's all these people working in there and hammering and drilling and stuff. I go and look at H. Robert and see if he's up to something because that's something he would do but he's asleep in his jar so it's not him. So I ask the person who is taking this big crate up the stairs who ordered all this stuff and he is really rude and ignores me. But I look at the name on the box when he leaves and the name on the box says "I. Trebor Smailliw." And I think hey, at least some diversity here because that's probably somebody from Turkey or Grease or something.
So I go back into my apartment and the next thing you know somebody has drilled a hole in the wall and run some cables inside our apartment! So I wake up H. Robert to see if he is up to something again. Anyway, he is real surprised and you can tell he's upset because he floats to the top of the jar when he is kind of upset. And he says he is not the person doing this because he has been asleep all day. But that it is probably part of the global neocon consporacy he has been trying to thwart.
And so I go to my computer and I try and log onto my google account and there are all these e-mails from me to all these computer supply places that I know I didn't send and its somehow got my dad's credit card number which I am only supposed to use in emergency situations. And I am thinking how did that happen because if you remember I changed all my passwords to +y^'s#Up like Sister Fairah told me. But just then I get this e-mail which bounced back because it was undeliverable:
Dear Secret President of Skull and Bone Society,
Everything is going according to plan. Oil prices are through the roof and the Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere will soon cause Antarctica to melt, drowning the coastlines of the world and clearing the secret alien spaceports currently buried under polar glaciers. The only one who can stop us, H. Robert Williams, has been isolated and is only allowed brief internet access because our lies have convinced the easily duped followers of the Spirit of Vatican 2 Faith Community that he represents adanger to them.
Soon women and indigenous people will again feel the iron boot of our neocon policies upon their necks. We will obliterate the names of their revolutionary heroes: Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, and Hugo Chavez! We will not stop with our world wide conquest until all the Hollywood elites are imprisoned and replaced by our propaganda machine, the last tree is cut down, the last spotted owl shot from the sky, and the world is completely irradiated by nuclear power making it uninhabitable for millenia.
Dick Cheney, V. P.
I know some people are probably saying that H. Robert probably sent me this e-mail to trick me, but there's no way. First of all it was returned by a mail administrator so its got to be real and also because I was pretty much aware of most of this before anyway except the part about H. Robert being the only one who can stop them. So it just confirmed what I already knew, especially about the alien space ports being buried under Antarctica.
Anyway, I pretty much had to plug H. Robert back into the internet so he could stop Dick Cheney before it was too late.
I've got to get ready for the animal rights mass this weekend. A lot of people are coming in for it. There's going to be lots of womyn dressed up like animals and things which is going to be cool. Oh yah! Make sure to get an animal costume for yourself. I am going to be a polar bear.