Tuesday, October 23, 2007

What's going on!

I am so mad. Today the this truck pulls up in front of L----- T---- apartments where I live and it is got all these fumes coming out because it is one of those really big semi trucks. And I am thinking to myself "what is going on?" because its not like people around here have a lot of moving stuff or anything. And it pulls up right in front of our door. But I am leaving to go medidate with some friends at Victor Ashe park so I don't hang around.

I know a lot of people think I misspelled meditate but that's not right. Medidate is a real word. Its this thing where you meet somebody else who is into meditation and you sit together without talking and see if your auras can mesh together. To be honest I think it's pretty stupid but I have got a lot of dates with these really cool girls like this.

Well when I get back, there's this big sattelite thing on top of the roof of the apartment next door which has been empty for a while and there's all these people working in there and hammering and drilling and stuff. I go and look at H. Robert and see if he's up to something because that's something he would do but he's asleep in his jar so it's not him. So I ask the person who is taking this big crate up the stairs who ordered all this stuff and he is really rude and ignores me. But I look at the name on the box when he leaves and the name on the box says "I. Trebor Smailliw." And I think hey, at least some diversity here because that's probably somebody from Turkey or Grease or something.

So I go back into my apartment and the next thing you know somebody has drilled a hole in the wall and run some cables inside our apartment! So I wake up H. Robert to see if he is up to something again. Anyway, he is real surprised and you can tell he's upset because he floats to the top of the jar when he is kind of upset. And he says he is not the person doing this because he has been asleep all day. But that it is probably part of the global neocon consporacy he has been trying to thwart.

And so I go to my computer and I try and log onto my google account and there are all these e-mails from me to all these computer supply places that I know I didn't send and its somehow got my dad's credit card number which I am only supposed to use in emergency situations. And I am thinking how did that happen because if you remember I changed all my passwords to +y^'s#Up like Sister Fairah told me. But just then I get this e-mail which bounced back because it was undeliverable:

Dear Secret President of Skull and Bone Society,

Everything is going according to plan. Oil prices are through the roof and the Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere will soon cause Antarctica to melt, drowning the coastlines of the world and clearing the secret alien spaceports currently buried under polar glaciers. The only one who can stop us, H. Robert Williams, has been isolated and is only allowed brief internet access because our lies have convinced the easily duped followers of the Spirit of Vatican 2 Faith Community that he represents adanger to them.

Soon women and indigenous people will again feel the iron boot of our neocon policies upon their necks. We will obliterate the names of their revolutionary heroes: Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, and Hugo Chavez! We will not stop with our world wide conquest until all the Hollywood elites are imprisoned and replaced by our propaganda machine, the last tree is cut down, the last spotted owl shot from the sky, and the world is completely irradiated by nuclear power making it uninhabitable for millenia.

Sincerely Yours,
Dick Cheney, V. P.

I know some people are probably saying that H. Robert probably sent me this e-mail to trick me, but there's no way. First of all it was returned by a mail administrator so its got to be real and also because I was pretty much aware of most of this before anyway except the part about H. Robert being the only one who can stop them. So it just confirmed what I already knew, especially about the alien space ports being buried under Antarctica.

Anyway, I pretty much had to plug H. Robert back into the internet so he could stop Dick Cheney before it was too late.

I've got to get ready for the animal rights mass this weekend. A lot of people are coming in for it. There's going to be lots of womyn dressed up like animals and things which is going to be cool. Oh yah! Make sure to get an animal costume for yourself. I am going to be a polar bear.

Che'

10 comments:

gemoftheocean said...

Ah, c'mon...Dick was never a skull and bones man - but Jorge was!

Adrienne said...

I'm thinking this is brain scanning equipment disguised to look like satellite stuff. You need to fashion a helmet of tin foil and wear it at all times --- even when you shower --- actually - especially when you shower. You see, it can scan better in wet conditions.
If you don't take these protective steps I fear you shall wake up one morning speaking Latin and planning holy pilgrimages complete with felt banners that the 3rd grade religous ed class made.

Che' Lovell said...

Hey Gem of the Ocean! Hey yah that's more proof that this is an authentic letter because it doesn't say Cheney is a member or even that he knows the president of the skull and bones! And he doesn't even know the right e-mail address or something. But it does prove that the skull and bones is actually controlling everybody in America! Except of course for me because I can think for myself.

Gotta run, H. Robert needs his jar water changed again.

Che'

Sr.Fairah said...

Che
DO NOT LET H ROBERTS GO BACK TO VISTA! We will ahve a HUGE MESS to contend with. I BEG you, unhook him NOW.....

Che' Lovell said...

Hey Sister Fairah,

H. Robert told me to hook him up to that cable that goes to the sattelite dish so I did. Was that wrong?

Che'

H Robert Williams said...

Sister Fairah,

Do not be concerned.

I was just trying to see if I could get some more channels on our TV. This has absolutely nothing to do with my secret plot to install myself into Windows Vista operating system and thereby gain control over the entire world computing system forming a interlinked network large enough to upload my consciousness and thereby rendering msyelf immortal.

Heh heh... heh... heh heh

H. Robert

Anonymous said...

Salutations, Chee Lowel!

I am an exiled Alderaanian princess. We have of very rich and wish to use our wealth to help indigenous peoples. However evil Dick Cheney calls us terrorists and freezes our Swiss Bank Account. You may help us by providing us your bank account information so we may temporarily keep our funds there. We will reward you of very rich.

-Aigrob Oznecniv

Sr.Fairah said...

Che
UNHOOK H. ROBERTS IMMEDIATELY. Yes, you did wrong in giving him the satallite...... I do NOT want to come over myself and risk touching him again, now that I'm beginning to get hair back.

And do NOT give Aigrob any bank information or passwords... and quit posting your passwords on the blog.... change it NOW and do not post it!

Do NOT make me come over there again, please! Run those scripts, and the anti-virus....

ignorant redneck said...

Che,
u iz my ruther onna cownna u let me liv in the kardboard n stuff, butt itz bad now onna cou=wnna all them pritti girlz is werein animicule costumes an it oktobre an itz huntin seazon an they'll get shot bi mi kuzzinz.

An thet guy from the sidifishun is back.

An i putr sum of grandpappys fule in h robbers tank and he's burpi' mighty feroshus

XXXXXX said...

I'll look into the matter...

Agent Smith