I am not feeling so good about the Animal Rights Mass

Hey, Krystal just sent me this e-mail and said I had to post it right away or something bad would happen to me. So I am doing what she said.

Hi everybody, Krystal here. I was so upset when I went to the blog and saw what Mr. Williams said about me. I was very kind to him when he got out of the hospital. I know people blame me for poisoning him with my grandma’s frog potion but that is not the case. He was pretty sick anyway from an infection due to the lawn dart and he should have told me he was allergic to amphibians.

I have nothing against Wicca except that it is all a bunch of crapola. These people who think they’re witches are totally not witches. If they knew what witches were really like they would just puke. Do you think my grandma really wanted to be a witch? I don’t think so. She did this to survive. Anyway, I got into witchcraft because I wanted to make sure people knew what it was about. I don’t think Che really understood that I was kind of a witch and not a wiccan or one of these other people who think they’re witches but aren’t. I make potions and I cast spells but like I said, I don’t gather my ingredients because that would be too gross.

Here’s a thing for you wiccans who supposedly think your “real witches” go to another country and see how the real witches there do it. Don't you know who is killing the rhinos and the elephants and the tigers? Im not saying that witches do these things but real witches are using the bits and pieces of those animals for their spells and potions. And haven't you ever heard how chickens are used in voodoo? You can dream all you want about how you're in touch with gaia and the earth and how you're following the ways of the ancient Celts or whatever, but real pagans sacrificed horses and drank their blood in front of their sacred trees and then smeared the blood on the tree.

So basically that’s why I said all you pretend witches are just plain stupid. A real witch isn’t all gaga about nature but uses nature to serve her purposes. That's not evil, it's just being practical.

And Mr. Williams, you can sue whoever you want. But you’re not coming after me because I know where you are and I know fifteen ways to make something bad happen to that jar you’re in.

Anyway, I am pretty confused because I am not sure what to do. What if the Wiccans I invited start trying to do animal sacrifices and get confused and sacrifice one of the PETA girls or something. I mean, the PETA girls are always pretending to be animals and some of their costumes are pretty convicing sort of.

Che'