I just wanted to say something about the parrot before I forget. You said:
... I think Che' had a parrot once, didn't you Che'? And he was really hard
to train out of bad habits. Che' finally had to get rid of him because Turk
taught the bird bad words, which caused quite a scandal when he was sick so Che'
couldn't leave him home. That bird swore during the liturgy at the most
inopportune moments! So he ended up giving him away to someone. Who was that,
Che'? Have you kept tabs on that foul-mouthed fowl?
Yah, that was mostly how it happened. A lot of people don't know this but my dad was a big Jimmy Buffet fan and when I was a kid he thought it would be cool to give me a parrot for my birthday. But I didn't take good care of him and so he used to watch him. So a lot of the words he knew were from my dad actually and not Todd. But we had this idea for having a mass for animals called Celebrate for Animal Rights Mass (C-Farm). That was when Todd and I were both on the liturgy committee. Because a lot of people don't know this but animals are pretty spiritual and stuff. And the parrot was going to sing in the choir. So Todd was training him but he kept swearing and mixing words up. I don't want to repeat what he said. But during Canticle of the Sun he said some really bad things and then like you said he kept swearing during Father Tim's homily which was really bad because Father Tim was saying stuff like we should look to animals for how to be love each other or something. But he was talking about how monkeys pick fleas of each other. Anyway the Parrots name was actually Hey Ya'll. That was funny when it said "Hey Ya'll want a cracker?" but it wasn't funny later on when I was like "Hey Ya'll SHUT UP."
So actually after that my mom took him with her and he lives with her in Connecticut and a lot of her friends think he's really cool but he is always saying stuff like "---- Hippies!" and "Get a job!" and things which really aren't nice but her friends find funny because they say the parrot kind of acts like the establishment. Even though they like animals and stuff they don't treat the parrot nice and they throw things at him and laugh about it.