Thursday, October 18, 2007

What you need to know

Hey! It's me Che'!

Right now I am really mad because Father Tim went to Jamaica. I mean that is so really mean because Jamaica is really close to Cuba and I want to go to Cuba on a "pilgrimage." Here I thought he got hurt doing yoga in the Hamptoms or something and instead he is on a tropical island probably fumigating revolution.

Anyway. I thought I would use this occasion to explain about imperialism in the Carribean. Plus we can't have eco-church this week because I need to take H. Robert back to the Hollyday inn to talk to the WCWW representatives. Also, it's my dad's birthday and I need to get him a present.

You know a lot of people don't know as much as I do about social justice and the rights of endogenous people. For example, how many people knew that Cuba was once part of Spain because Christopher Columbus attacked Cuba and took it over from the peaceful native cubans in 1492. The spanish people at that time weren't as nice as they are today. Also they lived mainly in Europe and stuff. Back then they basically killed almost everyone they met except the ones that they tortured a lot. They were a lot like the neocons are now. In fact there is a lot of similarities. That's because George Bush is an imperialist just like Christopher Columbus.

Sometime later the Americans fought a war with Spain. I think they were republicans because one was named Theodore Roosevelt and he was the first Republican president. He later quit the republican party because he wanted their mascot to be a moose instead of an elephant. Its stupid to think Elephants would be Republicans because Elephants are nice and Republicans are not. You know a lot of people don't know this but Elephants can live two hundred years or more except people like Theodore Roosevelt shoot them. Theodore Roosevelt also made Mount Rushmore which was an environmental catastrophe and defaced the pristine environment. Theodore Roosevelt was the first neocon DISASTER for the environment. That's because all republicans want to do is blow stuff up.

Anyway when the Americans beat the Spanish they took over Cuba and made it a colony and oppressed the peoples who by then were mostly spanish peoples. Then the peoples led by Che Guevara said ENOUGH WITH REPUBLICANS and fought a glorious revolution to make sure all the republicans left and didn't come back. Then the REPUBLICANS were all nasty and tried to send in all these people into the Bay of Pigs which is this bay in Cuba. But they lost.

Well that pretty much sums it up. I want everybody to write letters this week to Al Gore and ask him to help us give back Guantanomo Bay to the Spanish people of Cuba who we stole it from.

Thanks!

Oh yah I also figured out how to do spell checks on my posts which means that I won't make any more dumb mistakes with my spelling. Some people said that there were a lot of misspellings in my posts, but that's because I always type really fast.

Che'

11 comments:

the Mom said...

Che,
I believe it was the Democrats who sent the soldiers into the Bay of Pigs. Wasn't Kennedy the president then, and wasn't he a democrat?

But, please, don't let me interrupt your interpretive history lesson.

Love,
the Mom

P.S. You sound like you are a little worked up. Do you need for me to bring you some homemade chicken soup? It will help you calm down a bit and feel a little better.

-Mom

Che' Lovell said...

Hey the Mom!

Are you sure because that doesn't seem like something a democrat would do. Because democrats are all about helping peoples and things. But maybe it was a republican and Kennedy was just president. Because the "cuban missile crisis" seems like one of those things republicans do. Cuba is a really peaceful place. They don't attack other people.

Also I like chicken soup but only the kind you feed to chickens, the ones with tofu cubes. Some chicken soup is actually made from chicken. Actually tomatoe soup is my favorite. I like the kind they have at the soup kitchen in Market Square.

Che'

Pilgrim said...

Che,
What a fabulous piece of historical writing! You really have captured some high points in Cuba's history. But, I would like to point out two more points you have unjustly overlooking:
1. You're being mean to Columbus. His boss, Queen Isabella, was a womyn BTW, so he must've been sorta OK.
2. Che Guevara's favorite food was chicken soup. So why don't you give The Mom's soup a try. It's good for you and the chickens won't mind. They'll gladly offer up their lives for the revolution.

Pilgrim said...

Oops! Don't eat the chicken soup today since it's Friday. Friday was always the day observed among Revolutionaries as the Working Man's Day. Fish was generally the fare. Maybe The Mom could make a fish soup.

Che' Lovell said...

Hey Pilgrim,

Did you know that Hugo Chavez does an impersonation of John Wane and he says Pilgrims in this funny way.

That's awesome about Che Guevara liking Chicken Soup. Alot of people don't know how much he was a person of the peoples. They probably think he didn't even like soup. Soup is really important to me because my mom used to make soup for me before she devorced my dad. Brenda doesn't eat soup.

Che'

ignorant redneck said...

shootin olifants iz rong, onacoownna u kaint freize all da met befer it spoilts an thet wastefully of owr earthfiends.

wi gotta reespect awr earthfiends onnacownna sr. fairraw sex so.

less u giev the olifant meet to the tribble peepuls then itz ok

paramedicgirl said...

Umm, Che, you may have spelled endogenous correctly, but you used the wrong application - unless you want to refer to the indigenous people as secretions from within a cell!

Pilgrim said...

Hugo... all I can say is WOW, what a man, what a leader! John Wayne... I grew up on the man's unfathomable wisdom.
Anyway, Che, have you ever thought of suggesting to the SOV2 community that they go without meat on Fridays, ya know, out of solidarity with the common man, who can't afford meat. In your case, you'd have to give up that expensive Prol substitute, tofu. Or you could just go back to being a carnivore/omnivore. Who ever heard of the common man/worker being a vegetarian or a vegan BY CHOICE?!?!

Sr.Fairah said...

I can NOT believe the UNCHURCH comments going on... come on, the EARTH IS OUR MOTHER and the ANIMALS ARE OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS. How can we possibly eat meat? And so what if tofu costs a little extra? It's healthy and delicious.

I SEE what's happening... trad rads are infultrating and suggesting we go meatless on Friday. What about meatless 365?????? COME ON, people!

Anonymous said...

Indeed Sister, Indeed!

Why several Religious orders traditionally don't eat meat. such as traditional
Trappists and Poor Claires.

Yes by all means, don't eat meat, rather do penance, be deeply coverted, forswear our sins and turn to a life ov evangelical, chasity, poverty and obedience!

Che' Lovell said...

Hey PG! Are you sure that endogenous isn't right? Because I checked with the spell check. I mean, I am being extra careful now to make sure I spell everything write.

Also, I never eat meat except chicken wings and hot dogs. I mean, people don't eat dogs, so I think they are some sort of cheese or something. And though cheese is exploitation of cows, I think that's okay for the most part, because if we didn't eat dairy products they would those cows too.

I know some chicken wings are made of chicken but I get the boneless wings which are made of tofu.

Che'