Friday, October 5, 2007

Act II: Bananas of Revenge

Well, I am not going to let that person who pretends to be me post this on that web-site of his. So here is Act II of Bananas of Revenge written by ME!

I know that it is really pretty deep and I don't expect a lot of you to understand because I have pretty much taught myself how to write this well. My style is called post modern neo-impressionistycism. But also I combine elements from Asian and African and Latin American elements into my work. And also Native American symbols. And there's a lot of sacred-feminism and things also. So if maybe you have been studying really hard and stuff and you say "What is Che' talking about?" That's because you really don't understand because your probably not actually that smart. There's a lot of symbolism and things. Like the banana is more than just a fruit and also the bowls and the trees.

Bananas of Revenge
Act II

SCENE: The same place. Lots of bananas on the ground.
TIME: Later that same day

[SEAN PENN, TOM CRUISE and JEANNE GARAFOLA on stage picking up bananas]

GLOVER: Comrades! You are doing an AWESOME job. Not only is no one hungry anymore but we are all more productive because we are all working for the peoples and not for capitalists.
GARAFOLA: Thank you Chairman!
CRUISE: I am inspired by your words to work even harder! [starts picking up bananas even faster]
SARANDON: I am inspired too Chairman!
ROBBINS: What we are learning today we can teach to the workers at the beret factory that we have liberated for the peoples.

[Enter Chorus in colors of rainbow. They carry in bowls and things. Each person hands another person a bowl and all sing IMAGINE by John Lennon. Lots of interpretive dancing. Song ends.]

[Enter John Travolta with many people dressed in black. TRAVOLTA knocks a bowl out of someone's hand]

TRAVOLTA: You may have killed my identical twin brother but I am a lot worse and I have brought the forces of American Imperialism to defeat you.

[Sound of gun fire. People Running all over stage.]

GARAFOLA: They are stepping on the bananas!
PENN: The bananas are being crushed!
CRUISE: People need to eat bananas!
GARAFOLA: Now people will be hungry!
PENN and CRUISE: Don’t they care?

TRAVOLTA: I only care about oil and I have learned that there is a lot of oil under this banana plantation! Because I want to burn all the oil and make a lot of money and pollute the earth and kill trees.

GLOVER: The Earth which is our mother and like the indigenous peoples is being exploited by the forces of capitalism!
SARANDON: Don’t you know that the Earth does not belong to you but you belong to the Earth?
TRAVOLTA: Hah! I won’t listen to you and your scientific explanations! [Shoots SARANDON]

[Exit GLOVER and ROBBINS, carrying SARANDON outstretched with one arm dragging along ground. Gun fire ceases. Many rainbow people lie dead on ground.]

TRAVOLTA: Bring out the prisoners. [PENN, CRUISE, and GARAFOLA are brought out by guards] So! Do you still believe in the Worker’s Paradise?
PENN, CRUISE and GARAFOLA (together): YES!
TRAVOLTA: Well I think you are stupid. But I am also impressed by your courage. I must turn you over to the death squads.
PENN: You can torture us and kill us but we will never give in to imperialism.

TRAVOLTA: [Gestures to soldiers.] Cut down those trees. [Soldiers bring out big saws and start cutting down banana tree props]
GARAFOLA: Have you no shame? Those trees not only provide homes to squirrels and birds and owls and things but also breathe in carbon dioxide.
CRUISE: Many people bought carbon offsets to grow those trees!
TRAVOLTA: You are tree-huggers! Why don’t you hug trees you tree huggers!
[Author’s note. I am sorry to use really mean language but that’s the way those neocon people like Rush Limbaugh are always talking.]
GARAFOLA: Look there’s the last spotted owl in that tree! Don’t cut it down!
[Tree falls over. Spotted owl falls out.]
PENN: How can you be so cruel?
TRAVOLTA: With my war machine, what can possibly stop me? [Laughs a lot kind of maniacally or whatever]

[All action freezes. Enter Father Tim with Saint Francis of Assissi]
FATHER TIM: Look Francis of Assissi! Look how they have turned the earth into a big parking lot for SUVs
FRANCIS: The earth is my mother and the sky is my father. The trees are my sisters and the wind is my brothers.
[Exit Saint Francis and Father Tim]

SOLDIER: All the trees have been chopped down.
TRAVOLTA: Good! Now cover these people with Body Thetans.
[Soldiers put body thetans on CRUISE, GARAFOLA and PENN who are in pain and try to scratch body thetans off.] Now take them away!

[CRUISE GARAFOLA and PENN are dragged off stage]

[Start Song Purple Rain]
SOLDIER: It is starting to rain.
TRAVOLTA: This is an unusual color. Quick, bring me my coat! [Soldier brings fur coat made from Spotted Owls: Note don’t use real spotted owls to make coat but get fake spotted owls or something or make it out of cardboard and use markers to put spots on it.]


[Enter CHARLES CURRAN as Purple Rain continues]

CURRAN: [TO HIMSELF] This rain is the tears of the mother Earth. See how it fills the broken bowls! The Earth Mother tries to heal herself. But the bowls are broken. I can not be silent any longer. [TO AUDIENCE] You have seen for yourself what happens when people like me are suppressed! [Picks up banana] [TO BANANA] Their boots missed you. You were the smallest banana. You were a banana that maybe no one would eat because you have a couple spots on you and you look kind of mushy because you are an organic banana. And a lot of people don’t want to eat you because you are not as big as one of those bananas in Krogers or something. And when you are on sale in a natural food store people ignore you and don’t buy you even though you’re not really that much more expensive. But no insect was killed to make you tasty. You are the banana that will change the world. [TO AUDIENCE] Every banana has seeds in it. And the seeds are the life-spirit from the earth mother. When the seeds enter the Earth mother new bananas will grow! As long as one banana has the courage to stand up and be counted, there is hope. [Holds BANANA in the air] I am a banana! [Waves BANANA back and forth]



ignorant redneck said...

Thanks fer the idia on the skwirrellleses in treets--nivar thinked to kut down treees to git the animules! Mmmmm-mmmm gud! squirrellesses for brekfast!

only, I niver sea seeds in the bannannnanas I et.

Rob said...

How does Travolta feel playing the oppressive evil capitalist?

Che' Lovell said...

Hey IR! I think the seeds are really small or something so you can't see them but I'm not sure.

Hey Rob! I think Travolta likes to play villains and stuff because he was bad I think in that Battlefield Earth movie.


Fr. Larry Gearhart said...

Hilarious. I've never seen a spoof of Catholic liberalism this all-encompassing before. Well done!

EegahInc said...

Still no actual giant killer fruit, but lots of destruction of cardboard props. 4 out of 5 bananas!

Father Tim said...

Hey Ché! I like Act 2 even better than Act 1... especially the part with me in it. Very poetic and beautiful! I can't wait to see Act 3.

DigiHairshirt said...

Just as I laughed when Bambi's mother died in the film, I could not help but giggle uncontrollably when Susan Sarandon is shot.

Peter said...

NCR* reported that a Mass of Soildarity was held recently to express support for the banana plantation workers.

*NCR= Non Catholic Reports