Further Developments

Well, I finally got a lead on the missing agent... I was answering the door for trick-or-treaters tonight (whoever came here got a great treat--I was giving out the freeze-dried ice cream that the astronauts take into space), when a person came by in an Arabian costume that looked very realistic. He reached up towards the ice cream treats, but didn't seem to take any with him.

When he walked away, I looked down at the bowl and saw a piece of paper folded up and placed between the Vanilla and the Pistacchio ice creams. I opened the paper and saw a message pieced together with letters clipped from magazines and the Knoxville News Sentinel. It said:
"American pig-dog! If you desire to have your comrade returned, you must go to the Labyrinth tomorrow evening at 8:00."

Agent Smith

i-phone dead

I dropped my i-phone off a cliff when we stopped to take in some great scenery. So I won't be posting or commenting much ... just when we can get to a public library.



Glad the celebration of reparation went well. Molly Jean and I have been talking about it, and it's ... an odd concept: celebration of reparation. Oh, well, I'm sure i missed a doozy.

Peace out.

At Last!

Well Dear Friends, it was quite a celebration of Reparations wasn't it!

I was so thrilled to have so many around me, and now you have seen the secret that we had strived so hard to conceal as Keith performed his liturgical dance for us. For those of you who could not attend, Che drew this lovely picture. Of course he forgot to include the felt banners, but he did manage to capture the essence of this joyous celebration of overcoming our inner bigotry. I was pleased to be put in such a place of honor and had a wonderful view of all the festivities as the Wiccans and PETA girls joined in a rousing chorus of Companions on the Journey. At the line "We are gifted with each other" you should have seen Keith's face light up as he did a perfect Arabesque as pictured here.

You don't know how hard Keith worked. Not only was his performance beautiful but he must have lost twenty pounds to fit into costume.

Thank you so much for attending and best wishes. Until tomorrow!

H. Robert Williams

Message from Al Gore to SOV2

Hey everybody! Don't read this unless you can't be at the Liturgy of reparations tonight. This is the message Al Gore recorded for us. So hang on becuase it's AWESOME!

Well I am just so happy to be able to talk to you good folks at the Spirit of Vatican 2 Catholic Faith Community today. When I heard about all the good things you folks are doing I was just tickled pink with all sorts of good feelings and excitement because its young people like you who are really starting to affect the changes in this society that we all need to recognize are the first steps to building a stronger and more meaningful society based on justice and respect for the environment. [Applause]

You know when I was receiving my Nobel Peace Prize for my two decade plus passion, [Applause]. Thank you. My Nobel Prize for my labor of love if you will, for the environment a whole lot of different thoughts were going through my head. I was thinking to myself, yes, this award is an honor, but what it really does is help raise awareness for the struggle our Earth is facing every day to survive this siege of pollution, of toxins, of abuse, of neglect, of exploitation, of mismanagement, and of just plain pigheadedness especially coming from this administration and its failed policies in regards to what it is doing around the world especially its arrogance and short-sightedness. [Applause] What we have here is an out of control mad-scientist experiment that will make all those scary Halloween movies about axe murderers, zombies, mutants, and aliens look like Driving Miss Daisy! [Laughter and Applause]

You know, when I was growing up, that’s before I lost my bid for the White House by a 5-4 vote [Laughter], as a little kid in my Dad’s house in Nashville, I used to play a game with some of the poor under represented neighborhood kids. You’ve probably heard of this game. It’s called cops and robbers. [Nostalgic Sighs] Now, I was always the cop and they were most of the time the robbers. So what I would do is say to them: “Look people! This isn’t right! We can work together on this issue or that issue! We don’t have to play cops and robbers anymore! We can come together as a community!” [Applause] And I think that’s exactly what you have here a community that’s really come together and are taking ownership of what is really important which is working together to find solutions rather than just living in some fantasy world where all your problems just go away by pretending your finger has some sort of magic power.

There is no magic that let’s you point your fingers and say to the Earth “Stop warming!” and all of a sudden reverse all that environmental damage that your cronies in the oil industry have done. [Applause] You can’t go to the Supreme Court and tell the Earth to stop voting! But people like this current president are looking for that magic, you can bet they are! And that magic is called denial, which ain’t just a river in Egypt folks as they say in my home state of Tennessee. [Laughter] Which is why so many scientists, climatologists, geologists, oceanologists, meteorologists, climatologists, ecologists, naturalists, biologists, and ordinary people just like you have formed an international consensus of people taking responsibility and moving forward and saying “Enough is enough! It’s time to take back our planet! [Applause] No one can own the Earth! [Applause] We all live here together! Let’s work together to confront this issue head on, right now, today, before it’s too late!” [Applause]

You know, when I was receiving my Emmy for my documentary An Inconvenient Truth [Applause]. Thank you. As I was receiving my Emmy, I was thinking that many people are under the impression that this is a Hollywood Liberal issue. There’s been a lot of talk about how this a red state versus blue state issue. Or that it is an environmental issue. But you know this isn’t just an environmental issue. This is a political issue, and it is an intellectual issue. This is an issue of trust and an issue of direction. It’s about progress! It’s also a moral issue and an economic issue! But most of all it’s a spiritual issue! That is why I am speaking to you all here today! Because you all are the spiritual warriors who are going to take this message to the next level by taking back America! [Applause]

You know, there is this wonderful movie about a man who came to Washington to change the world and instead found his world changed because he changed. As I was being awarded my Academy Award [Applause]. Thank you. As I was being awarded the Academy Award for my documentary that I just mentioned called An Inconvenient Truth that is available on DVD now, I was thinking about that very thing that movie talks about. That heartwarming movie which I think just says so much about what life is really all about is called Evan Almighty starring my good friend Morgan Freeman [Applause] as a compassionate God with a sense of humor.

You know, I know many people have seen that movie and thought to themselves, “well that’s just a funny movie with some funny dancing.” And I know how people here all like dancing. Am I right?! [Loud Cheers!] But they may say to themselves, “was there a message there I could tell my kids about? Was there something to take home?” I think movies like this and my documentary An Inconvenient Truth which is being shown to school children throughout the world right now are the kind of responsible media Hollywood is all about. Because Hollywood really cares about America. In fact, what I have come to realize by being at these Awards Ceremonies for my documentary and being awarded these awards for all my hard effort and in talking with people throughout America is that Hollywood really is America at its best! [Cheers and Applause]

So what is the message Hollywood is telling us? Because it’s important for us to listen! Evan Almighty is a faith filled journey and I think it really shows that God is really about the kind of environmental issues that face us right here today in our homes, in our schools, and in our faith communities [Applause]. I think God wants you right now to make a stand for the environment. Let’s go back to the “original design!” Because if you don’t, the dams that you are building are going to burst, and then you better hope that you’re on that Ark that goes to Washington and makes a stand in front of congress and says “Enough! We want sound environmental policies right now!” [Applause]

So, I want everybody to take my pledge to not spend money with companies that don’t support my effort to clean up the environment through carbon offsets. And make sure you take part in the political process. Let’s all build the 21st century state community together! [Applause] Thank you! Thank you! Keep up the good stuff you're doing!

All is prepared

Dear Sisters and Brothers,

I have good news. All is prepared for tonight's Incorporated Liturgy of Reparations and Responsibility Acceptance for Abuses in Regards to Really Mean things done to Witches, Non-human Animals, Indigenous Peoples, and people who like Dancing. Special non-baked bread shall be used for the Gorebertines, we have removed all objects containing animal-based glues and adhesives for the representatives of PETA, and a special pentagram has been placed over a raised dais as a sign of unity with our Wiccan sisters and brothers. Sadly, the Hugo Chavez brigade will not be able to attend as it is their traditional bowling night.

There will also be a special taped message from one of the nicest and most spiritual friends of the Earth. A man who has certainly been under appreciated and hardly recognized for his pangean effort to save us from our own folly.

Furthermore, there is a "special surprise planned..." heh, heh, heh, heh... errr... a special event tonight that none of you will want to miss. I can't say what it is... heh heh haha BWHAHAHA.... errr... because it is going to be so special but as a hint let me just say that NONE OF YOU COULD POSSIBLY GUESS WHAT IS IN STORE FOR YOU TONIGHT! BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! ...errrr... get there early for the best seats possible.

We have removed all the folding chairs so you all may be more comfortable on the floor. Please also bring your prayer rugs.

H. Robert Williams

road trip

So we're having a great time on the road. But it's hard to post from the i-Phone. Just a word about the contest. Some people are half-right. You're very close. No tours, though. Keep guessing.
Agent smith: You must have seen someone else on that camera. I was only in that outfit 5 minutes.

Letter from an old friend

I just received an "email" from an old friend. Dr. John Alesdorf, or as we liked to refer to him "Dr. A" from Villanoce College. The "graphic" at right is one that he sent with the email. He's an esteemed scholar in theology and "scriptures" and has always described himself as, "basely devoted to the Spirit of Vatican II". Below is what he sent me...

Syb Bob, I thought you would be interested in what the radical neocon journalistic monopoly is putting out. Below is the article with my emphases and comments.

Washington Times article published Oct 28, 2007
Mass appeal to Latin tradition

October 28, 2007

By Kristi Moore – Roman Catholic churches nationwide are rushing to accommodate a surge in demand for the traditional Latin Mass, which is drawing a surprising new crowd: young people. [If one counts a "surge" as the numbers going from 3 to 6, then yes. And after the brainwashing put upon these children by the Reagan-Ratzingerist cabal it's no wonder they believe they want this "TLM"]

Since July, when a decree from Pope Benedict XVI lifted decades-old restrictions [As we call know he illegally overturned the rightful ban.] on celebrating the Tridentine Mass, seven churches in the Washington metropolitan area have added the liturgy to their weekly Sunday schedules.

"I love the Latin Mass," said Audrey Kunkel, 20, of Cincinnati. "It"s amazing to think that I"m attending the same Mass that has formed saints throughout the centuries." [Probably a home schooler. This is why we must mandate all children be in public schools where their minds may be properly formed.]

In contrast to the New Order Mass, which has been in use since the Second Vatican Council in 1969 and is typically celebrated in vernacular languages such as English, the Tridentine Mass is "contemplative, mysterious, sacred, transcendent, and [younger people are] drawn to it," said the Rev. Franklyn McAfee, pastor of St. John the Beloved in McLean. "Gregorian chant is the opposite of rap, and I believe this is a refreshing change for them." [Finally a word of truth. Gregorian chant is the opposite of rap. It's a dead form in a dead language that speaks to no one.]

Susan Gibbs, the director of communications from the Archdiocese of Washington, said the attraction demonstrated by the young adults is "very interesting." [Hopefully Ms. Gibbs is imbued enough with the Spirit of Vatican 2 to see the danger that this poses.]

Besides the liturgy"s rich historical content and spiritual significance, the younger generations show an interest in the old becoming new again, said Louis Tofari of the Society of St. Pius X, an order of clergy that opposed the reforms of the Second Vatican Council.

"People who never grew up with the traditional Mass are finding it on their own and falling in love with it." [Just a passing fad. ]

The Tridentine Mass helps people in their 20s and 30s who have grown up in a culture that lacks stability and orthodoxy see something larger than themselves: [ Obviously these people have missed the point in seeing the environment and other cultures as being truly larger than they are. Sniveling selfish brats in need of true education.] the glory of God, said Geoffrey Coleman of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter"s Our Lady of Guadalupe seminary in Denton, Neb.

The Tridentine Mass "detaches me from the world and lifts my mind, heart and soul to heavenly things," [ See the dangers of these trads. Brainwashing.] said Michael Malain, 21, of Houston.

Kirk Rich, 21, of Oberlin, Ohio, remembers the first time he attended a Tridentine Mass and recalls thinking that a new religion had been invented.

"That"s certainly what it seems like when comparing the two forms of the Mass," Mr. Rich said.

The biggest difference between the two forms is that the Tridentine Mass is always celebrated in Latin, except for the homily. The priest also leads the parishioners facing east, the traditional direction of prayer. The New Order Mass can be celebrated in Latin, but usually is not. There are also differences in some of the prayers, hymns and vestments. [Obviously this journalist doesn't understand the disrespect shown by the priest in turning his backs from the people, the manifestation of God.]

As a result, the overall feel of the Tridentine Mass is more solemn and serious.

"The coffee social is after the traditional Latin Mass, not in the middle of it," [What a wonderful idea this would be. It would reinforce the idea of the mass as a communal meal.] said Kenneth Wolfe, 34, of Alexandria. "No one can say, with a straight face, that the post-Vatican II liturgy and sacraments are more beautiful than the ones used for hundreds and hundreds of years."

Like the churchgoers now demanding the celebration of the Tridentine Mass, the priests learning the rite are usually younger as well. [See. I warned you of the dangers of these young fogeys.]

The Society of St. Pius X trains priests in the liturgy of the Tridentine Mass and has received as many as 25 requests a week for instruction since July.

"The phone was ringing nonstop, and I was getting e-mail after e-mail,’ Mr. Tofari said. "The response was absolutely incredible; most of the people who call are below the age of 30."

The Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter has collaborated with Una Voce America to host workshops for clergy in Denton, Neb. Una Voce America, which promotes the celebration of the Tridentine Mass, usually teaches the rite to 12 students a session. But in September, it increased that number to 22 to meet the increased demand for training.

Many priests think the changes approved by the pope will do more than bring young people into the church. They think the celebration of the Tridentine Mass will increase the faith of many followers. [WARNING Will Robinson. DANGER DANGER ]

The Rev. Paul Scalia, 37, has been celebrating the Tridentine Mass at St. Rita Church in Alexandria. He said the increase in young attendance is evidence that the Mass is something living and life-giving.

"The beauty is tremendous, as it draws us to God, who is beauty Himself," Father Scalia said.

This should be a clarion call to all of us at SOV2 of the very real danger we now face.

Finally!

At last we've arrived!! Just the sight of the lovely liturgical space here, with all its warm, creative, welcoming felt banners, revived me from the deep shock I've been in since yesterday morning. I'm so looking forward to the Incorporated Liturgy of Reparations and Responsibility Acceptance for Abuses in Regards to Really Mean things done to Witches, Non-human Animals, Indigenous Peoples, and people who like Dancing---especially the dancing! The uplifting strains of syblyng Marty Haugen will erase the uncomfortable silence of "Saint John Cantius" from my mind...I was so pained at how the chyldryn there (so MANY of them...) were oppressed; they were not running around, talking, yelling, eating, drawing, or climbing--not expressing themselves in ANY way! I'm sure the young syblyngs at Spirit of Vatican 2 are a much more self-fulfilled lot....I packed lots of willow bark in anticipation!

Missing Agent!

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to send out the younger agents on their own to go knock on doors in Knoxville...
Agent Peters seems to be missing after a visit to the home of Dr. al-Fakkir. We have a recording of the last few minutes leading up to his dissappearance:

(Knocking, followed by silence... Then after a minute the knocking continues)

Agent Peters: "Hello! Is anybody home? This is Agent Peters, and I'm here on behalf of..."
Dr. al-Fakkir: (Speaks in muffled Arabic--then yells from the back to another man) "...Not here!!!"

(The recording picks up the sound of a door opening and closing behind the house and the sounds of footsteps fading rapidly. Then the knocking occurs again)

Agent Peters: "I just would like a few minutes of your time; I was sent out to talk to community members and ask about...

(The door opens slowly until it hits the end of the chain)

Unidentified Man: You have no right to be here, you Government swine!
AP: Well that was uncalled for! Could I speak to Dr. al-Fakkir?
UM: The Doctor is not here, pig!
AP: But, I just heard him a minute ago!

(The door is unlatched, and swings open)

UM: You American pig-dog! Why do you bother us?
AP: Hey, stop that! Let me go!!! HEY!!!!!

(Microphone goes dead--static)
*******

I guess I need to go to Dr. al-Fakkir myself and get this straightened out. In the meantime, I have given all the agents the order to return to headquarters.

Agent Smith

Wednesday Event!

Hey! It’s me Che’. I wanted everybody to know that H. Robert and the WCWW and also PETA and the Hugo Chavez Brigade are going to have an Incorporated Liturgy of Reparations and Responsibility Acceptance for Abuses in Regards to Really Mean things done to Witches, Non-human Animals, Indigenous Peoples, and people who like Dancing.

This was the result of a lot of effort by a lot of people and a coming together of a lot of us especially me and H. Roberts and Todd Turk. You can tell by the name that we put a lot of thought into it. Anyway, it is also part of our Samhain Fest on Wednesday and Know Your Earth Friends month which kicks off in November.

Also, you know SOV2 is really against obligation. I mean, you know you should be inspired and not feel guilty, but we all agreed that if you don’t show up H. Robert will make an extra electronic withdrawal of 5% this month for the Father Tim’s e-tithe program. But it’s going to be AWESOME anyway so you’ll really want to be there.

Also, bring your costumes from the Animal Rights Mass and a bag or something to hold candy. We’re giving out naturally organic soy crisps that we got surplus from my Natural Food Store because they expired or something. Plus there’s going to be a surprise which I don’t want to give away.

St. John Cantius

The good news is we're just hours away from our wonderful new home. And about our visit to St. John Cantius. We're still trying to recover. Syb Joe just rocks back and forth chanting "Credo in unum deum" over and over again. Syb Madison has just maintained an icy stare and hasn't said anything yet. As for me.... I don't know what we experienced. I'm tempted to believe that we've stumbled over a time warp, or a living reenactment of the bad old days of the Church. There was NO liturgical dance, no Haugen and even very little English. I think I just saw that banned mass. The one before the glory days of 1960s. There were no womyn anywhere in any role. No womyn priest, no altar gyrls. Nothing. There were people lined along the walls during this "service". I had assumed those booths were those quaint old fashioned telephone booths. But Syb Joe went to make a call and came back to tell me that that there was no telephone there, just a man that he talked to for quiet a while. It was then that I realized that they were "confessionals". Dear Gaea. Don't these people realize that went out when the Spirit of Vatican 2 blew upon the world? The priest preformed mass with his back arrogantly turned toward us in that dead language. The people were so bored that they didn't utter a word during the performance. It looked like most of them had their heads buried in the same novel. And there were womyn scattered that were wearing those catho-burkas. I'm just beside myself remembering it. I thought afterwards that there might have been a spark here as I overheard someone mention classes. I thought well here must be where the underground church is fighting against the patriarchal backwards church. I was expecting enlightened classes like gynoevolutionaryecology or even just some good old fashioned social justice. No my friends. They were talking about Latin and Greek classes. I'm still at a loss. Someone needs to shape this palce up. Never have I been anywhere were the Spirit of Vatican II was as dead as here.

ROAD TRIP

Molly Jean (my bus friend) and I are on a HUGE road trip. Below are the cities we're going to be visiting.

I'm hosting a contest. Whoever can guess what all these cities have in common will will a prize! You have to guess why we're vi sting these exact cities. You can't just say something like "they all have a post office." Use the comment box to make your guesses.

1. Philadelphia, PA
2. Starrucca, PA
3. Summit, NJ
4. Columbus OH
5. Rockford, IL
6. Debuque, IA
7. Agnew, NE
8. Denton, NE

PS: I changed my profile Pic... hope you all like the "new me!"

Sermon on Animal Rights

Friends,

I am posting this moving sermon on behalf of Hey Ya'll the Parrot.

Thank you

Sister and Brother Sentient Life-Forms,

On behalf of animals everywhere I would like to say a heart-felt thank you to the representatives of PETA who care so much about Earth-friends, the WWCA who are good and caring devotees to the earth spirit, and the kind people of Spirit of Vatican 2 Faith Community. Also, a special thank you to H. Robert Williams who have helped me prepare for this speech. SQUAWK. Get a job hippies! Hey Ya’ll don’t say that. SQUAWK.

Today I would like to talk to you about evolution and free will, two important concepts. The first of these binds us together in terms of our bodies. We are all part of a community of creatures, a continuum, or a series. You and I are related through our genetic make-up. We are 99% the same where it counts. We all have the same ancestral parent, small and insignificant as it may have been. We all owe a great deal of gratitude to that little microbe who first managed to pull its protoplasm together, summoned its little strength and wrote its own story with an alphabet of just four letters A, G, T, and C.

Oh Teillhard de Chardin was on to something certainly when he imagined this great ladder of life, impelled ever upward to reach towards the Omega Point. But did he not also overstretch? We non-human animals do not think the internal impetus makes us superior to the dirt and rocks we walk upon or dig through, the water we swim in, the air we fly in, the Oxygen or Carbon Dioxide we breathe. We are all existence qua existence.

But for you humans, the idea of the value of the tenacity of life remains a strange obsession. You wish to "personify" nature and anthropomorphizing the Earth. You Wiccans, who among you do not call nature mother? Who does not in your mind imagine the Earth as a womb to birth you. Why? Do you not realize that not every being has a mother? Such imagery is nonsensical. Look upon the earth as the earth and the sky as the sky! SQUACK! Hey Ya'll wants a cookie! SQUAWK!

But let me not digress.

You value only the things most like you. You value mammals over birds, birds over reptiles, reptiles over fish, fish over crustaceans, and so forth. That is why despite a greater feeling of inspired kinship, evolution remains a two-edged sword. Darwin’s idea of “natural selection” and “survival of the fittest” has led some to believe that humans are on top of the evolutionary pyramid. SQUAWK! Tree huggers! SQUAWK! Hey Ya’ll Shut up! SQUAWK!

Do you feel superior due to your complexity or sophistication? Why not take your cue from the humble Pinot Noir grape. The grape is not proud. It is not boastful. Yet its complexity is greater than yours. It has 30,000 genes compared to your 25,000 genes. You consider yourselves enlightened, yet consider how the grapes genome may have led it towards a deeper consciousness of the essential unity that your own. What profound thoughts lie hidden under its lustrous tranquility? Can you honestly say that you have plumbed a grape’s soul?

But why take as your criterion complexity? Why not rather say it is because of your species sustainability? If such the shark has you beaten by 420 million years.

Why not then your civilization? Fools, the ants and bees and other social insects have been building ecologically benign utopias of the workers for more than 40 million years! SQUAWK! Cut your hair! Cut your hair! SQUAWK! In intellect and language your cousins the dolphin and the whale are your equals or betters. Look how loving and caring they are to each other.

No, by comparison to the rest of the animals, the human is a rather dull and uninteresting thing. In only one thing you excel: in your ability to do violence to the rest of the ecosystem. As such you are worse than the lowest disease being only interested in your own well-being and survival, feeding of the common resources we all share. And so the question really is not what rights do animals have, but what rights have humans not surrendered in light of the ecological abuses they have done?

Well, it looks like I am out of time. SQUAWK. Free will is an illusion!

Transportation problems

That evil petrodeath fueled van has broken down. We're now in Chicago. It's going to be Sunday before we can be on the highways and byways again. Our eta to SOV2 is now sometime Monday barring further problems. This is all somewhat disappointing. Not that we were making great time before, having to stop every 20 miles so Syb Joe could visit a restroom. But the good news is that would be able to visit a local parish in Chicagoland. Originally we were going to St. Sabina. I've always admired what I've heard about that parish. But it turns out it's on the east side of town, so we're too far away. But this wonderful womyn I was chatting with outside the repair facility recommended another parish. I believe it's called St. John Cantius.

Transitions

This construction has gotten pretty hectic, but I've been assured that everything should be ready to move in by Monday or Tuesday. I'm also very excited that my computers and surveillance equipment is being upgraded--everything will be state of the art and running smoothly soon.

One of the first things I plan to do is send some of the inexperienced agents out to do some legwork--knock on doors and get to know people in the Knoxville community. I think it will be much better for them to get real hands-on experience rather than sitting around the office and playing Second Life.

Agent Smith

Fire with Fire

The Gorebertine syblyngs are finally on their way! We got kind of a late start as we had a disagreement about whether or not to take a petrodeath fueled van. The van belongs to members of the DLA (Druidical Liberation Army) who were staying with us. They've offered to take us down to your wonderful parish as they were on their way to Florida. They made some valid points I believe about using technology to fight technology. I'm even posting right now from a "wireless notebook". Although I don't see how a telegraph is involved. Much easier than when I tried using the internetweb with a telegraph key. Hopefully we will be in the arms of our fellow syblyngs at SOV2 soon.

I am not feeling so good about the Animal Rights Mass

Hey, Krystal just sent me this e-mail and said I had to post it right away or something bad would happen to me. So I am doing what she said.

Hi everybody, Krystal here. I was so upset when I went to the blog and saw what Mr. Williams said about me. I was very kind to him when he got out of the hospital. I know people blame me for poisoning him with my grandma’s frog potion but that is not the case. He was pretty sick anyway from an infection due to the lawn dart and he should have told me he was allergic to amphibians.

I have nothing against Wicca except that it is all a bunch of crapola. These people who think they’re witches are totally not witches. If they knew what witches were really like they would just puke. Do you think my grandma really wanted to be a witch? I don’t think so. She did this to survive. Anyway, I got into witchcraft because I wanted to make sure people knew what it was about. I don’t think Che really understood that I was kind of a witch and not a wiccan or one of these other people who think they’re witches but aren’t. I make potions and I cast spells but like I said, I don’t gather my ingredients because that would be too gross.

Here’s a thing for you wiccans who supposedly think your “real witches” go to another country and see how the real witches there do it. Don't you know who is killing the rhinos and the elephants and the tigers? Im not saying that witches do these things but real witches are using the bits and pieces of those animals for their spells and potions. And haven't you ever heard how chickens are used in voodoo? You can dream all you want about how you're in touch with gaia and the earth and how you're following the ways of the ancient Celts or whatever, but real pagans sacrificed horses and drank their blood in front of their sacred trees and then smeared the blood on the tree.

So basically that’s why I said all you pretend witches are just plain stupid. A real witch isn’t all gaga about nature but uses nature to serve her purposes. That's not evil, it's just being practical.

And Mr. Williams, you can sue whoever you want. But you’re not coming after me because I know where you are and I know fifteen ways to make something bad happen to that jar you’re in.

Anyway, I am pretty confused because I am not sure what to do. What if the Wiccans I invited start trying to do animal sacrifices and get confused and sacrifice one of the PETA girls or something. I mean, the PETA girls are always pretending to be animals and some of their costumes are pretty convicing sort of.

Che'

Please Vote

Hello. It has been some time since I have spoken with you and now I come with a requesy. Please do me a big favor and be voting fot Thomas Peters to receive a scholarship by clicking this link

Mr Peters is a good Catholic who can use our help.

Also, mant prayers to you, Sr Fairah, as you seem to have become aware of the beauty of the Real Presence. I hope for all my friends at SOV2 to also receive this great gift.

Pax Vobiscum

taking time away...

My home is full of water. Not just a little, but up to the chairs in water. I got home this afternoon and couldn't even get in the door. The landlord said it's better if I find somewhere else to stay for a week or so, while they clean up.

I met my bus-friend over at St. John's. She's invited me to stay with her as long as I need. But she lives in the hills, and doesn't get phone reception very well, and can't afford Internet connection. So I won't be posting for a few days. When we go into town, I'll use my i-Phone to check things out, and comment, but it is just too hard to get a real post done.

I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm starting to get to know the church over at St. John's, and they are great people. Some of their ideas are a little constricted, but ... well, I need to be church to them, too.

And I don't care what Dym Tim says about the Monstrance. I love being there.

I'm glad Agent Smith is moving in, as he knows more about Unix and can keep H. Roberts under control. Be church to him, and make him at home.

See everyone next week!

Moving In...

I just received word from my superiors that I will be given a promotion and a new assignment...

My reports back to Washington have alarmed some of the higher officials, and they wish for me to keep a closer eye on the events in Knoxville. I have been authorized to set up a department office just a mile down the road, so like it or not, my involvement with the SOV2 community is now more or less permanent.

Don't be alarmed by the construction--it should be quick, the Government is usually pretty efficient with new building projects--or by any additional agents who you may see in the area. I can assure you that everything is under control.

Agent Smith

Welcome Syb Bob!

Hey! Awesome news! Some of the Gorebetines are going to be in town for a while to look at starting a religious faith community and mission here! This is really big and its going to put us on the map.

Anyway, as part of Animal Rights Week I rented an Inconvenient Truth and we are going to be showing it Friday Night for a lot of the PETA girls. These are womyn who are dressed up as salad and tigers in cages who I have been trying to get to come here for a long time to do a protest of the Knights of Columbus because they kill so many chickens. Anyway its awesome how much awareness they raise when they do a protest and I think we need to keep raising awareness as much as possible because a lot of people are really not paying attention to global warming or think that the Earth is not getting hotter. And do you know how many animals are killed because of global warming? I think it's a lot.

Che'

PEACE

Dym Tim, I miss you. Your "peace out" every post has really hit home.

Last weekend I went on a bus crusade of sorts, to find a temporary home where people don't hug and touch too much. I wanted to be with church, but didn't want to give anyone my ... problem. It took lots of bus riding and lots of avoiding kind people wanting to greet me with a faith hug and kiss, but I finally found a really nice church at St. John Neumann's. Everyone was really very nice, but there was no chance of spreading the baldness.

When I first went into the church, I just slipped into the back because it looked like they were having a weird service of some sort. Everyone was sitting in the front pews, and there was something on the table in the gathering space. People were real quiet, though. I thought maybe I just couldn't hear them from the back. After a long while, and a few people came and went, I decided maybe it wasn't such a formal service anyway, so I went closer to look.

On the altar there was this really big odd-looking metal thing. It had a cardboard circle in the middle, and spokes radiating out from it. There were really pretty gems placed very artistically in places. It actually looked like a 2-dimensional puffer fish from the tropics (I went scuba diving once, and had a lot of fun making the puffers puff.) ... only much prettier than a plain brown puffer. When I tried to go up to the table, one of the gentlemen in the church stopped me, and said I couldn't go up there. I didn't want to make contact with him, so I didn't push it, but went back to a side pew to see what would happen.

Nothing happened, really. But as I sat there, I realized I was feeling a peace that I've not known before. I sat there for a really long time, but it didn't feel like a long time.

I went back the next day, and the next. It is such a beautiful place, but beautiful in an unusual way. I miss SOV2, but not as much as I thought I would. There is something there that I just can't leave. I can't put words to it, but it's very real.

I think I'm getting better, though. The squirrels in the neighborhood, and me, have very thin hair, but it is growing back. I found another stray cat (this one was healthy to start) and brought it home, and it hasn't lost any hair yet. But before I come around, I want to be absolutely sure, and I want more hair. I hope to be back soon.

Che': PLEASE, unhook H. Robert Williams from anything electronic. He's going to get nasty if you don't!

Dym Tim: Can't you stop H. Robert from posting?

Peace out.

What's going on!

I am so mad. Today the this truck pulls up in front of L----- T---- apartments where I live and it is got all these fumes coming out because it is one of those really big semi trucks. And I am thinking to myself "what is going on?" because its not like people around here have a lot of moving stuff or anything. And it pulls up right in front of our door. But I am leaving to go medidate with some friends at Victor Ashe park so I don't hang around.

I know a lot of people think I misspelled meditate but that's not right. Medidate is a real word. Its this thing where you meet somebody else who is into meditation and you sit together without talking and see if your auras can mesh together. To be honest I think it's pretty stupid but I have got a lot of dates with these really cool girls like this.

Well when I get back, there's this big sattelite thing on top of the roof of the apartment next door which has been empty for a while and there's all these people working in there and hammering and drilling and stuff. I go and look at H. Robert and see if he's up to something because that's something he would do but he's asleep in his jar so it's not him. So I ask the person who is taking this big crate up the stairs who ordered all this stuff and he is really rude and ignores me. But I look at the name on the box when he leaves and the name on the box says "I. Trebor Smailliw." And I think hey, at least some diversity here because that's probably somebody from Turkey or Grease or something.

So I go back into my apartment and the next thing you know somebody has drilled a hole in the wall and run some cables inside our apartment! So I wake up H. Robert to see if he is up to something again. Anyway, he is real surprised and you can tell he's upset because he floats to the top of the jar when he is kind of upset. And he says he is not the person doing this because he has been asleep all day. But that it is probably part of the global neocon consporacy he has been trying to thwart.

And so I go to my computer and I try and log onto my google account and there are all these e-mails from me to all these computer supply places that I know I didn't send and its somehow got my dad's credit card number which I am only supposed to use in emergency situations. And I am thinking how did that happen because if you remember I changed all my passwords to +y^'s#Up like Sister Fairah told me. But just then I get this e-mail which bounced back because it was undeliverable:

Dear Secret President of Skull and Bone Society,

Everything is going according to plan. Oil prices are through the roof and the Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere will soon cause Antarctica to melt, drowning the coastlines of the world and clearing the secret alien spaceports currently buried under polar glaciers. The only one who can stop us, H. Robert Williams, has been isolated and is only allowed brief internet access because our lies have convinced the easily duped followers of the Spirit of Vatican 2 Faith Community that he represents adanger to them.

Soon women and indigenous people will again feel the iron boot of our neocon policies upon their necks. We will obliterate the names of their revolutionary heroes: Che Guevara, Fidel Castro, and Hugo Chavez! We will not stop with our world wide conquest until all the Hollywood elites are imprisoned and replaced by our propaganda machine, the last tree is cut down, the last spotted owl shot from the sky, and the world is completely irradiated by nuclear power making it uninhabitable for millenia.

Sincerely Yours,
Dick Cheney, V. P.

I know some people are probably saying that H. Robert probably sent me this e-mail to trick me, but there's no way. First of all it was returned by a mail administrator so its got to be real and also because I was pretty much aware of most of this before anyway except the part about H. Robert being the only one who can stop them. So it just confirmed what I already knew, especially about the alien space ports being buried under Antarctica.

Anyway, I pretty much had to plug H. Robert back into the internet so he could stop Dick Cheney before it was too late.

I've got to get ready for the animal rights mass this weekend. A lot of people are coming in for it. There's going to be lots of womyn dressed up like animals and things which is going to be cool. Oh yah! Make sure to get an animal costume for yourself. I am going to be a polar bear.

Che'

Results of WCWW meetings

Dear friends,

I would like to inform you of the results of my discussions with WCWW concerning the future litigation against the Catholic Church due to the publishing of Krystal's offensive letter on this blog. We are currently listing grievances. We do not wish to overwhelm the process by endless enumeration, nor do we want to use all the bolts in our quiver in a single law suit. There will be time for further litigation once we can establish an initial beach head in the conscious of western society. On that score, success is a requirement. We must therefore consider carefully which among the many egregious examples of anti-Wiccan activities to focus upon.

As for myself, I would like nothing better than to litigate over the actions of Bishop Boniface who destroyed Thor's Oak, one of the most important pre-Christian pro-Environmental sacred sites in medieval Europe. This contemptible action not only signaled the beginning of the forcible conversion of many nature-friendly religions, but triggered the rape of the Environment that has led us to this current world catastrophe of global warming.

Dear friends, as Father Tim will be absent and as Che and Todd are making plans for the Animal Rights Mass let us all consider what steps we can make in order to admit, confront and address, prejudices against our Wiccan neighbors and friends. Let us own up to the mistakes that we have made as a corporate institution. I know many of you feel that just because you weren't personally involved in these injustices you have no responsibility. Friends, you are lying to yourselves. You have not begun to confront the inner bigot. Your lack of concern is tacit approval for the activities of "churchmen" like Bishop Boniface.

I want each of you to think of an injustice and then I would like you to write a response to that injustice. I would like you to meditate and consider how it makes you feel, how you would apologize through reparations to the Wiccans which you harmed. After our gathering on Sunday, I would like you to break into small groups and select a facilitator to meet with me and we will decide how best to formulate these responses into an action plan to share with the WCWW.

Thank you so much for your inspired action!

H. Robert

Courageuous Nuns

hey... these nuns are great - they are really stepping up pressure on the legislatiors... also on their "website" they take on the ICEL for using confusing language - and in this eloquent statement, they make a nice contrast with phrases like: We recognize that our actions have militated against the sustainability of planet Earth, which is just plain as day...

anyway, check out National Coalition of American Nuns: PIII

Parrot

Hey Maryann!


I just wanted to say something about the parrot before I forget. You said:

... I think Che' had a parrot once, didn't you Che'? And he was really hard
to train out of bad habits. Che' finally had to get rid of him because Turk
taught the bird bad words, which caused quite a scandal when he was sick so Che'
couldn't leave him home. That bird swore during the liturgy at the most
inopportune moments! So he ended up giving him away to someone. Who was that,
Che'? Have you kept tabs on that foul-mouthed fowl?

Yah, that was mostly how it happened. A lot of people don't know this but my dad was a big Jimmy Buffet fan and when I was a kid he thought it would be cool to give me a parrot for my birthday. But I didn't take good care of him and so he used to watch him. So a lot of the words he knew were from my dad actually and not Todd. But we had this idea for having a mass for animals called Celebrate for Animal Rights Mass (C-Farm). That was when Todd and I were both on the liturgy committee. Because a lot of people don't know this but animals are pretty spiritual and stuff. And the parrot was going to sing in the choir. So Todd was training him but he kept swearing and mixing words up. I don't want to repeat what he said. But during Canticle of the Sun he said some really bad things and then like you said he kept swearing during Father Tim's homily which was really bad because Father Tim was saying stuff like we should look to animals for how to be love each other or something. But he was talking about how monkeys pick fleas of each other. Anyway the Parrots name was actually Hey Ya'll. That was funny when it said "Hey Ya'll want a cracker?" but it wasn't funny later on when I was like "Hey Ya'll SHUT UP."


So actually after that my mom took him with her and he lives with her in Connecticut and a lot of her friends think he's really cool but he is always saying stuff like "---- Hippies!" and "Get a job!" and things which really aren't nice but her friends find funny because they say the parrot kind of acts like the establishment. Even though they like animals and stuff they don't treat the parrot nice and they throw things at him and laugh about it.

Che'

Update from the Road

I'm posting the homily early, so nobody read this until tomorrow!

If you'll remember, a couple weeks ago I posted about our new purchase, for the purpose of being church on the road. We got the wagon that goes with it, too, so I just wanted to discuss a little bit about what it's like to be out here and ministering to the people of the world. (I'd upload a picture, but I can't seem to get blogger to work, sorry!)

Not surprisingly, we got a lot of stares, but because they could smell food wafting, and we are selling organic smoothies, organic tannin-free wine, organic beer, and other organic vegan things, well, people came to us to learn about SOV2. And they helped "further" our cause by helping to peddal down the road while discussing their own faith journeys.

What's especially cool about this new form of ministry is not only the health we can serve up with our ecumenism, but the exercise to boot!

The other day, we met a man who had been a 20 year alcoholic, and he climbed on board for a smoothie and to talk to us about his 12-step program and the higher power he chooses to call...well, I can't remember the term, but it worked for him, in any case. He had a smoothie, but unfortunately we learned that he was lactose-intolerant, and his smoothie had some milk-based product, and he passed out and fell off the wagon. That was so unfortunate, but no hurt feelings. And in fact, he had such a good time with us, in spite of his incident, that he's going to invite his entire AA group to join us next time! We did have to promise to put the organic wine away and not make it available for anyone during that time, so we agreed. I hadn't considered our ability to assist those who are chemically-dependent, but there it is! As it turned out, their group was really sick of drinking coffee and smoking and meeting in one place, and after meeting with us, they both want to come visit SOV2 proper, and they are going to start their own ministry by peddaling smoothies along with 12-step!

They aren't going to get the wagon like we did, though, because they don't like the symbolism of falling off. So if this group from Dry Creek comes by, give them a big ol' SOV2 welcome, and be careful what you offer for hospitality; we have to be sure not to offend.

We met other people, too, some of them just curious, some gave us tracts that were written by a bird named "Jack Chick". He had a lot of things to say about the Catholic Church, and while I agreed with a lot of it, he had a lot of hostility in him, so he wasn't very church. And I think he got some of the details wrong about the history and belief. Amazingly, I found myself defending the Catholic church from the Chick's followers.

What amazes me, though, is that Jack Chick, being just a bird, is real talented, and so he'd be a great mascot for SOV2, at least if we could maybe redirect our feathered friend's talent into more positive work. After the bird's followers left, we, the road ministry team, met to discuss groups like that; they tend to be really angry and they are completely intolerant about what other people believe. And their focus wasn't inclusiveness, but of exclusion because their entire reason for grouping together was to discuss how wrong everyone else was. So in the end, we're not going to go track down the miraculous bird. It must have been really hard to train him to begin with, and I think Che' had a parrot once, didn't you Che'? And he was really hard to train out of bad habits. Che' finally had to get rid of him because Turk taught the bird bad words, which caused quite a scandal when he was sick so Che' couldn't leave him home. That bird swore during the liturgy at the most inopportune moments! So he ended up giving him away to someone. Who was that, Che'? Have you kept tabs on that foul-mouthed fowl?

In any case, it seems birds, unlike people with bad habits, can't be trained to change their lives or attitudes, so our ministry will continue to be to reach out to people on the fringes. Not the feathered ones, though.

Many of you may not know that I lost a family member to alcoholism, so really, when this AA group comes to visit SOV2, treat them as you would my family. Our outreach shouldn't just be on the road, but, as long as we own property, right or wrong, we should use it for the good of the people who come our way and we should be church with them. And try not to kill them in any way.

Anyway, about the readings for today; we're not going to use them because they don't go along with my homily. So we're going to read Robert Frost's "The Road not Taken", and a passage from "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand, and a passage from "The Handmaid's Tale".

Dym Tim might take a shift on the road while I come back to SOV2 for awhile, but we'll see how that works out. He's been itchin' to get out on the road for a bit.

So I'm partially contagious

Wednesday night I got a phone call from the Sister who is in charge of my region. We are supposed to have them come visit us once a year, but it hasn't worked out so well the last several years. When Sr. Ophelia asked if she could come visit, I tried to explain that it wasn't a good idea, and that the poor cat had died and that all the squirrels in the neighborhood were now hairless. For some reason, she didn't believe me, and insisted on coming and bringing another Sister with her. Well, when they arrived, they saw I wasn't lying about being hairless or the squirrels in the neighborhood, but still insisted on staying with me. I told them I was afraid they'd get it, but they wouldn't take "no" for an answer. So they came in, and stayed the night. However, I insisted they not touch me, and that they sanitize the bathroom first.

I was so scarred that the next day they'd both be hairless, too. But thank Gaia that they weren't. So I am sure now that I am only contagious if I touch someone.

But that's still a problem at SOV2. Everyone is so inclined to hug, I just can't come around yet. But I am going to go tomorrow and find a church that won't hug and stuff. I'll be very careful about not touching anyone, and won't let anyone hug me or anything.

You see, I'm getting terribly lonely. I just have to go out and be around people!

And I just can't stand the thought of going out bald. But wigs HURT (the rash is still there). A nice, soft, white cloth works well. But this afternoon, I walked to the corner mini-mart to buy some green tea, and THREE different people thought I was Amish. Apparently, the white head covering is distinctively Amish. I don't want that mistake to happen again (although it was a great experience of unity), so I borrowed one of Sr. Perpetua's veils (she was the one that came with Sr. Ophelia). Poor Sr. Perpetua is one of about three in the community that still sticks to those awful male-imposed habits. But at least I won't be mistaken for Amish this way. I just HAVE to get out, and the veil will allow me to do that. But please, no one think that I'm being subservient or anything. And if you should see me, DO NOT touch me under any circumstances!

Che': are you running the antivirus check EVERY 2 HOURS, like I said? And running that script that will keep H. Robert from upgrading to Vista again? DON"T FORGET.....

Dym Tim, enjoy Jamaica. Don't let Che' get to you. You deserve the break. I've heard the scuba diving there is outstanding!

Maryann, will you prepare the sermon this week? I don't think the community really wants Che' or Keith again, and I personally will NOT allow H. Robert to do it again. He is SUCH a facist!

What you need to know

Hey! It's me Che'!

Right now I am really mad because Father Tim went to Jamaica. I mean that is so really mean because Jamaica is really close to Cuba and I want to go to Cuba on a "pilgrimage." Here I thought he got hurt doing yoga in the Hamptoms or something and instead he is on a tropical island probably fumigating revolution.

Anyway. I thought I would use this occasion to explain about imperialism in the Carribean. Plus we can't have eco-church this week because I need to take H. Robert back to the Hollyday inn to talk to the WCWW representatives. Also, it's my dad's birthday and I need to get him a present.

You know a lot of people don't know as much as I do about social justice and the rights of endogenous people. For example, how many people knew that Cuba was once part of Spain because Christopher Columbus attacked Cuba and took it over from the peaceful native cubans in 1492. The spanish people at that time weren't as nice as they are today. Also they lived mainly in Europe and stuff. Back then they basically killed almost everyone they met except the ones that they tortured a lot. They were a lot like the neocons are now. In fact there is a lot of similarities. That's because George Bush is an imperialist just like Christopher Columbus.

Sometime later the Americans fought a war with Spain. I think they were republicans because one was named Theodore Roosevelt and he was the first Republican president. He later quit the republican party because he wanted their mascot to be a moose instead of an elephant. Its stupid to think Elephants would be Republicans because Elephants are nice and Republicans are not. You know a lot of people don't know this but Elephants can live two hundred years or more except people like Theodore Roosevelt shoot them. Theodore Roosevelt also made Mount Rushmore which was an environmental catastrophe and defaced the pristine environment. Theodore Roosevelt was the first neocon DISASTER for the environment. That's because all republicans want to do is blow stuff up.

Anyway when the Americans beat the Spanish they took over Cuba and made it a colony and oppressed the peoples who by then were mostly spanish peoples. Then the peoples led by Che Guevara said ENOUGH WITH REPUBLICANS and fought a glorious revolution to make sure all the republicans left and didn't come back. Then the REPUBLICANS were all nasty and tried to send in all these people into the Bay of Pigs which is this bay in Cuba. But they lost.

Well that pretty much sums it up. I want everybody to write letters this week to Al Gore and ask him to help us give back Guantanomo Bay to the Spanish people of Cuba who we stole it from.

Thanks!

Oh yah I also figured out how to do spell checks on my posts which means that I won't make any more dumb mistakes with my spelling. Some people said that there were a lot of misspellings in my posts, but that's because I always type really fast.

Che'

A Plea to the University of Dayton

Dear Friends,

A colleague of mine at the University of Dayton has allerted me to a plan to renovate the chapel. I know many of you are right now saying... well... what has this to do with me? Dear friends it has everything to do with you.

The chapel which was a gaudy throwback to middle ages narrow mindedness was incompletely renovated in the 1970's when the Spirit of Vatican 2 dictated that all the statues should be removed, the pews and the altar rail ripped out, the marble altar, the frescoes on the wall obliterated, the stations of the cross and other icons of the Roman Fascist Church should be confined to the junk heap of history where they belonged.

Only a few horrendous monstrosities like an "ornately carved" pulpit, a gaudy organ in a choir gallery were allowed to serve as reminders of a dreadful "baroque" age of catholic backwardness. Truely, you could virtually envision Torquemada in that pulpit ordering the slow torture and murder of helpless Jews and Moors. You could virtually hear John Paul II ordering the imprisonment of Progressive Theologians through the pipes of that organ.

Oh! Should we not have ripped those things out too?! Foolish were we back then in our lack of zeal! How we let the corruption persist! Why did we let one brick stand upon another? Like a weed masculo-Cathlofascism returns!

Oh! University of Dayton, like a mother hen gathering her chicks I would have gathered you up in my wings and nursed you until you were fully able to be the agi-poles I had intended you to be!

Truthfully I do not know what plans they have laid for the renovation but I doubt they could be good. You should see the abstract stained glass windows! Will they be permitted to be retained? You should see the metal and plastic chairs and the green carpet? Shall they be preserved? You should see the plain and simple altar, so light, so fragile, will it be replaced by something lighter and more temporal still?

O! Liberal Theologians of Dayton! Arise! Arise! I beg of you! Do not let the traditionalists break your will! You O Ship of Dreams! O Dreamer Nation of the Goddess-Spirit! O lover of the Divine Feminine! O creature of the Ethno-Catholic apostate! Worshipper of the Democratic Kennedy-Spirit! O Dayton! Dayton! Do not abandon your way! Do not forsake your Idols! Dayton! Dayton!

H. Robert

Hey People Send up your Thoughts for Father Tim!

Hey everybody!

Bad news because Father Tim has been hurt. We don't know what happened exactly but it maybe had something to do with the fact that he was practicing yoga or something really hard. Anyway, hopefully he'll feel well enough to share some thoughts soon but for right now I think he's going to be out of commission.

I'll do what I can to keep things moving but hey! just be earthfriends to each other and be church and stuff. And stop yelling all the time at each other. And maybe say nice things and maybe give some money to green peace or something like that. And STOP HITTING ANIMALS because that's mean.

Oh yah and stop driving your cars.... and...

I know I'm forgetting something. I mean... shoot. Something about Marty Haugen I think but I can't remember what. Oh well, I'll remember later.

Che'

A Letter from the Road

Hey! Whoa! Sounds like things are getting out of hand down there at SOV2. Hey Sister - good idea to keep away from people for a while until that whole skin/hair thing works itself out. No need to go to the faith gathering this Sunday. Also, I'd offer to send over Dr. Argot to see how you are doing, but frankly Dr. Argot is very valuable to the faith community, and I wouldn't want him to catch anything.

As for me, I'm doing great! As you all know, I went on retreat the weekend before last, just a quick weekend retreat to the University of Dayton's Library of Curranianism. I really expected to be back at SOV2 on Monday, October 6, but wouldn't you know it? I ran into Brother Yurgli, who was a good friend of mine back in the Boston. He invited me to spend a day of reflection with his community in Cleveland. It's a really cool group of mendicant Brothers (The Discalced Brothers of the Heinz Fraternity) who minister to the wealthy community of Cleveland, Ohio. You wouldn't believe their monastary! While I was there, I was called upon to provide spiritual guidance to a Mr. and Mrs. Stanislaw, who were having some difficulties concerning Mrs Stanislaw's repeated infidelities. Well, it turns out that Mr. Stanislaw is a cousin of David Haas's barber, and before you know it, I was on a private jet bound for the MLMWCR '07 convention. I had a super time there - at one point we sang "Gather Us In" as a round, and then there was this really cool medley of "Lord of the Dance/On Eagles Wings/Sing A New Song", which lasted for five hours and featured some of the best freeform improvisational liturgical dance that I have ever seen. We all got commemorative clay communion goblets to remember the event.

I had to duck out a little early because I got a call to be a guest speaker at the ACWOF forum in New Ulm, which was pretty cool (that was yesterday). I had no sooner finished my talk (well received, by the way), when I bumped into Ron Don-Pheobus in the hallway. Ron is the High Chief Liturgist for the National Shrine of Dorothy Day in Milford, Connecticut, and he just insisted that I fly over to Connecticut with him to see their new interpretive "Mass of the Worker". Well, let me tell you, it's just as great as it sounds!

Anyway, I'm bushed. This has been a really hard couple of weeks of ministry, so I'm going to delay my return and take up RonDon's offer to unwind for a couple of days at his place in Hilton Head. You all are doing great in my absence. Just stay away from Sister Fairah, and, hey! Sister Fairah - remember that you can best be church to others right now by being eucharist by yourself at home.

Peace out!

Dym Plarvik

Don't come near me!

I don't know what I got into yesterday, if it was one of Keith's experiments or the gunk around H. Robert's brain, or a electric jolt, but whatever made my hair fall out and is causing this rash on my scalp ... it's catching!

There is a squirrel that I've tamed. It comes into the kitchen when I open the window, and i feed it peanuts and pet it. Then it goes back outside. Well, last night after I got home, it came in, ate, got petted, and went back out. This morning when it came in, I almost screamed ... it had NO FUR AT ALL. At first I thought it was a huge rat or something, but then when I saw how it moved, and its tail bounced just like a squirell's, I realized it caught whatever I have. So, to see if that was just a oddity, or if it's catching, I lured in a stray cat, petted it (It was actually very friendly and didn't mind being petted at all) and put it in a box to see what would happen . About an hour later, I checked, and it's hair had fallen out, too.

So NOONE COME NEAR ME. And don't expect me to come around SOV2 for a while. I'm afraid to even to go out to the doctor, for fear of giving it to someone else....

Anyone want a really ugly hairless cat???

H. Roberts ... he is literally sick

So I went last night to Che's apt, to check out what is happening w/ H. Roberts. Well, it isn't good news. I think someone else has the key, or the landlord is letting someone else in, because he was nearly re-hooked to the Vista machine, and I could NOT believe all that is on that machine ... the data bases were absolutely mind-boggling! His threats to alter your credit were SERIOUS. And the spyware he has running ... HE IS THE SPY, and not to mention the hacking programs that were running. He did have my password, as well as a screen shot of some of my emails. I strongly recommend everyone change every password you have. And remember to make your passwords strong, with some non-alphanumeric characters. For example, (H3'=@$$ is ideal.



And H. Roberts doesn't look good. And it isn't just because Che' skipped changing his water once. He has this bulge on one side of him (remember, he's a brain). I hope he doesn't have cancer or something. I remember when my mom's cancer went to her brain, she started acting all funny, like H. Roberts has been acting. But how do you take a brain to a hospital or a doctor? Maybe the growth will just fall off or something.



But things just keep getting weirder all the time ... when I was tracing back a fiber cable to see what it was connected to (there were cables EVERYWHERE, going every direction!) I suddenly felt this slimy, gooey stuff on my fingers, and realized I had gotten all the way back to the jar. Immediately all the hair on my head (and NO, I don't have a beard, like Che's mom!) stood on end, and I felt this electric volt go through my body. I pulled my hand out of the spaghetti of wires, and unconsciously touched my head, and the sticky stuff got in my hair. I didn't think much about it at the time, since we were so involved in figuring out what all the cables and CPUs and monitors go to (there must have been 50 monitors in that room!). But later, after we had hauled out most of the equipment (Agent Smith wanted to take a lot of it), Britnee made a comment about my head, and I went and checked the rear-view mirror in the van (the mirror in Che's apartment is unusable), and I HAD NO MORE HAIR, and there is a rash all over my scalp. So Che', DON'T TOUCH THE STUFF THAT THE BRAIN IS IN. Wear gloves!

While I think we took away anything that would allow H. Roberts to do any real damage, there is still the possibility that he has some connectivity. We found at least 5 wireless access points, and I can't promise we got them all. I did agree to leave one old machine, running DOS, with the brain, because Che's says he gets really grumpy when he doesn't have something to do. I pulled out some frogger and pacman games, and set him up. But whoever is doing the computer stuff is probably just going to upgrade it anyway. I did put a great firewall and Norton on it, but can't promise he won't just disable them. Agent Smith said a lot of the programs were running in UNIX, and I don't know anything about it (other than when it's the same commands as DOS), so I couldn't tell Che' what to watch for. So please, change your passwords! Another example of a strong password is +y^'s#Up.

About H. Robert

Hey!

Keith went camping this week with his friends in Cherokee National Forrest and I was out with my mom at her book signing at the Barnes and Noble all day. And then we went out to eat at the Fallafel Hut. When I got back H. Robert somehow hooked himself back up to the internet again. I don't know how he's doing this but I think he's starting to freak himself out or something because he's bobbing around in the jar and talking to himself a lot.

Anyway, I've unplugged him again so I hope he doesn't cause any more problems for a while. I hope Sister Fairah gets me that anti-virus software or something.

My mom is going back to Connecticut tomorrow. I mean, it was awesome to spend some time with her and stuff but I have to say that I don't like a lot of her friends. I mean how come they all have these beards and things and wear beads and head bands and pony tails and wear sandals. I mean that's okay if you are like eighteen and a girl and stuff because then your probably cute. Well not if you have a beard but except for the beard the other things I mean then your probably cute. Except not all the time becomes some girls aren't cute and I don't like to hang around them very much either.

Anyway, apparently H. Robert has invited a bunch of people from the witch council to come down and I am supposed to take him to the Hollyday Inn near West Town Mall. I already know this is going to be stupid because all there going to talk about is this stupid law suit.

Che'

retraction of earlier post ... and TOTALLY WIERD occurance

First, I hereby retract my earlier apology of sorts. H. Roberts is a hoax, and a mean manipulating facist. He will not "be" for much longer.

Now, the real post: So the absolute WIERDEST thing happened... even wierder than seeing Crystal re-cessitate the frog! I AGAIN ran into that young womyn on the bus. We AGAIN got into a wonderful discussion. She really is a bright, engaging young persyn. Based on our past encounters, I decided this time to just let her talk. She really had some very interesting points to make, and it's actually making me see another view of some things. Mind you, I'm still not ready to go to the Latin ... thing ... with her, but she really has some interesting takes on Latin.

It makes sense that because the same church is throughout the world, a single language would make us more one church. And just as I would find a ceremony in Spanish or French hard to understand, our brothers and systers in other countries don't like the breaking of the bread in English. Latin is at least neutral! English might even be offensive to someone from Iran or Hong Kong.

And then I happened to go into a different Catholic Church for liturgy, and saw a gazillion Mexican people there. No one was participating, and I couldn't figure out why they were there. I checked the bulletin, and there was even a Spanish one offered in the evening. I asked someone later, and they said the bad guys from immigration come to the Spanish services and catch people there, and deport them. So those poor Hispanic brothers and systers have to endure liturgy in a language they don't understand, to avoid being deported.

And the other day at SOV2, there was a couple there... I think it was Xavier and Marie Grafshalm, who have a very special child. He's 13, but really hasn't been given the same "stuff" that most people are given, and all little Bebo can do is sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." So when you and I are enjoying "We are Church" and Kumbyah, Bebo just sings yet another verse of Twinkle. In other words, what language the breaking of the bread is in, doesn't make a difference. In order to be church to Bebo, we should have the breaking in a language no one gets. Then, we'll all be as happy as Bebo is.

So if we all went to Latin, we'd all be equally happy.

I can NOT believe I'm writing this.

Do not be concerned about Che

Dear friends,

Do not be concerned for the welfare of our dear friend Che. He is in good health and high spirits. If he were able, he would let you know that all is well. There is no need to look for him. Especially do not come by his apartment as he will not be there. His little mouse Erin is fine too.

He was rather upset by the Cathlofascist attack. He now realizes that he has been duped by forces beyond his control into believing that the brand of witchcraft Krystal presented was somehow "authentic." He understands now that litigation is the only recourse. He urges you all to sign the petition you will be receiving in the mail within the next two days.

You all may soon be experiencing momentary power outages and loss of internet connectivity. Do not be alarmed. This is entirely normal. You may also not be able to access your bank accounts for short periods. If your credit cards are rejected, remain calm. There will be no need to report these temporary inconveniences to any "authority." I am merely assisting Dym Tim in his new electronic tithing project... heh... heh... heh... Eeeeeeerrrrkkkkk....

If you see Keith be aware that he has joined the Cathlofascists and is intent on disrupting my... errrr..... the plans of our community. It was unfortunate that he was not here when Che attempted to uninstall Microsoft Internet Explorer from my computer.... heh heh heh heh..... eeeerrrrkkkk. If you see Keith please alert me at once and do not attempt to make contact with him. He has dangerous ideas and is full of falsehood and corruption... heh... heh... heh... hehe hehe.

And Sister Fairah, there is no need to go to the trouble of coming over to the apartment tonight. Che will not be available and you will find all the doors and windows locked... any glow is normal and to be expected.

H. Robert

Catholic Fascists Make Me Sick

I know that recently we have had our differences here at SOV2 but I have to say something which I am sure will bring us all together. Last night someone flamed our blog with a very hurtful comment. Essentially this person accused Che - yes Che - of being a Catholic Fascist in disguise. They then proceeded to mock him cruelly.

Person! You know who you are. You know what you did! What you do not know is how deeply hurt and offended Che was by your words. He stayed up all night watching Pretty Woman, Erin Brockovich and last year's super bowl halftime show featuring Prince - over and over.

I ask you, would a liberal catholic, or an earthfriend catholic wound another so deeply and insensitively? Do liberal catholics, wiccans, or feminists, ever say anything so mean? No. They respect the life-force. Therefore, we can conclude that this person is certainly a fascist attempting to sow seeds of discontent and probably was in league with Krystal when she sent Che that letter. It seems that Che has become a pawn in a darker conspiracy.

There is no doubt in my mind who this person was and what this person was about. I have recorded his ip address and even now I am using the resources at my means to hunt this person down and wipe out this person's credit rating.

The question now before us is this: what more can we do?

The first thing you can do is support me in my lawsuit against the Roman Fascist Church as we seek reparations for the hundreds of millions of innocent Wiccans murdered in cold blood by fanatical Christians over the last two thousand years. The second, is you can speak up in support of Che. Tell Che there is no way you think he is secretly a Catholic Fascist or a Republican. The third thing, call your legislator and demand equal rights for wiccans and pagans and demand full indoctrination into acceptance of their practices. We need immediate re-education to address years of prejudice in the media. Fourth, you can learn about Wicca yourself. Go to wiccan festivals, practice some simple wiccan spirituality. Fifth, purchase goods from wiccan on-line shops... but be careful. Some anti-animal web-sites sell animal parts in their goods. These are not true wiccans but fascists looking to make a quick buck. The World Council of Witches and Warlocks web site will explain the difference between valid and invalid wiccan goods. Sixth, STOP SHAVING and USING DEODORANT! These are anti-body perversions. Instead please decorate your bodies with rings and tattoos which are more natural expressions of self-love.

H. Robert

Homily, Sunday, October 14

Hey everybody! I know you're used to getting Homilies in person, but since I'm up here at the Minnesota Liturgical Ministry World Convention and Retreat (MLMWCR '07), I'm going to have to "mail it in." But this one's a doozy, so just sit back and relax like you're in the worship space, and let the spirit speak to you through me:

--------

Hey! Wow... what great readings today. They really speak to me. But there's something else which has been on my mind recently. One of the "threads" of discussion that has been running through the convention, and also came up in the last couple of retreats, was this question: If you hate the Roman Catholic Church so much, why are you still a Roman Catholic?

And you know what? I really had to think about this a lot! I know, you're suprised, because usually I have all the answers. But this time, I had to wonder. I mean, after all, what is the Roman Catholic Church but a sort of vestigal collection of patriarchical oppressors who secretly manipulate the world's finances, do a lot of pagan stuff with incense, and try to keep womyn barefoot and pregant all the time. Not to mention that they are all about taking away people's choices and valid life expressions. So why would I want to put on this collar (metaphorically - you all know I don't really wear one - it's a symbol of "chains on the vocal cords" - sort of a symbolic way of silencing free speech)?

Well, the answer is simple. Remember back in the 60's when the Democrat party was anti-choice? Did the pro-freedom activists get Choice made into law by becoming Republicans? No! They went up to the party and said "This is our party now!" and ever since, we've owned the Democrats. We're doing the same thing now with the Republicans with our good friends Rudy and Mitt and John McCain. In a couple of years, there won't be anybody left who is anti-choice.

And that's because the best way to WIN is to Fight From Within! Remember that: "The Best Way to Win Is To Fight From Within".

Some people say it's intellectually dishonest for people like us to call ourselves Catholic when we don't "believe" what "Catholics" believe.

But let me ask you this: who gets to say what Catholics believe? A bunch of old guys in Rome? Or you and me? That's right! We are the people who get to decide what the "Catholic Church" is. Or, more appropriately, I get to decide, because, let's face it, I've been to more Liturgical Ministry conventions than you, and I'm also ordained in a perfectly valid ordination (despite some irregularities). So don't go off all half-cocked thinking that if you disagree with me, that it's OK. Remember who's running this faith community.

Anyway, what I'd like to get across in this homily is that building things up is really hard. If we were to go off and sing a new Church ino being, and call it something like "Liberated Catholics", it would be very difficult and expensive. It's much easier to tear things down, which is what The Spirit of Vatican 2 is all about.

Apology (of sorts) to H. Robert

Che', Maryann, Britnee and I went out for green tea and the best vegi chile ever. We had a nice, long talk. It was the nicest experience of Church in a long time!



I realize now that I don't like H. Roberts because he's different than me. That's not fair. I'm different than the trees and mother earth, but not lesser than them. I forgot that even H. Roberts has a spark of the divine, even as a brain. To be honest, H. Roberts is smart ... probably smarter than me ... and therefore probably closer to Gaia! After all, some day we will all reach perfect knowledge, and he's a lot closer than I am. That day, there will be no distinction between a brain and a spirit. Doesn't it say somewhere in scripture that there is no difference between male and femyle? Well, the same is true for a brain and a spirit.



So I'm taking a step back and stopping my disapproval of H. Roberts. I STILL can't accept his idea that litigation is what is best for the church. Krystal, after all, has done some awesome things in revealing the power of the divine.



Dym Tim -- can't you ban litigation for members of SOV2? If so, we'll all get along better and be church better. After all, H. Roberts HAS TO listen to you. Threaten to ban him if he continues with this talk of suing. Do it for us, the church!

Let's all be open and honest

Dear Friends,

I think there is a lot of confusion and misunderstanding here. I can't say that I am not at least partially to blame, and I accept and own my part in any ill-feelings which may have surfaced. However, let's be honest with each other. How many of you maybe have jumped to conclusions. True, I am 'just a brain in a jar' but I have feelings. I have good days and bad days and I have my daily challenges, hopes, dreams, aspirations. Being a brain in a jar has given me a new perspective on things and that perspective, as part of a growing diversity and inclusion plan is healthful and necessary. Aren't some of us saying that brains in jars aren't welcome at SOV2? That I am somehow, less than human? That I am merely a computer or a trick, or a hoax.

People, how do you know that YOU aren't in fact brains in jars in some laboratory someplace and that your experience of reality isn't some elaborate hoax? What experiment can you play to prove that you are real? That is a challenge I would like to leave you with.

But, I am sorry. I am sorry that it has come to this. Look how that shameful and harmful hate-filled letter from Krystal has torn this community apart. This bigotry has harmed all of us. We are all victims of a twisted history. A pattern of deceit. That is why I hope you will join me in my... errr.... our lawsuit, that being the WCWW and my legal action against the Catholic Church for fostering and spreading such anti-wiccan rumors. For I am certain that as we dig deeper we will find that indeed this was all a clever plot, machinations from Ratzinger to be unearthfriend to our wiccan sisters and brothers. Che' is clearly not the brightest light in the sky. Who better to fool that this innocent soul?

Please, let us move beyond anger and hostility. Let us break the circle of recrimination and find the guilty, who we all know and can name, and BLAME THEM with MASSIVE LEGAL ACTION! WITH PROTESTS IN THE STREET! RIOTS! MOCK EXECUTIONS! ...errrrr.... I mean non-violent civil disobedience and peaceful political agitation in the name of acceptance.

Thank you,

H. Robert Williams

This speaks for itself.

I'm so confused!

I just don't get H.Roberts. We're all supposed to be heading toward a unified spirit with Mother Earth / Gaia and each other. How can a brain have a unified spirit? It has no spirit ... it's just a brain. I'm thinking the whole H. Roberts thing is a hoax. Dym Tim, have you ever seen H. Roberts? Since he died at least? Sorry, Che, but I think you are taking us all for a ride of some sort.

Then I keep running into that womyn on the bus. She's starting to make sense. I don't want to go into what all we talk about, but ... I'm getting more confused each day. She's a wonderful, kind, caring, compassionate young womyn. And she's starting to make me think ... well, just that. I'm starting to think. Not that I didn't before, but this is different somehow.

And I'm out of green tea. I'm out of money. The bills from that awful retreat center in the mountains keep coming. I think I"m going to move and not leave a fwd address. But I have to stay close to SOV2, even though people here anymore aren't really being church, they're all I have. You at least have stayed away from that horrible other language. But even that has it's good points, I'm starting to realize ... but that's a post for another day.

I'm confused! Anyone who needs me, I'll be in the labyrinth....

Reaction to Offensive Letter from Krystal

I am outraged at the offensive letter written by Krystal to Che Lovell and posted on this web site. This crass and bigoted attack on Wicca must stop immediately. I was surprised and offended beyond my capability to give verbiage to my sentiments. Mere words do not adequately describe the pain I am feeling right now.

This is horrendous! It is a step backward to the middle ages and the Witch Trials in Germany where hundreds of millions of witches were summarily tortured and executed, deprived of their human dignity and rights by narrow minded fundamentalist christians.

I am working with the World Council of Witches and Warlocks (WCWW) to formulate an appropriate response to this revolting, repugnant, fascist, calumny against a peaceful, earth-nurturing religion. Be assured that whatever form it takes this response will demand an immediate apology from the Catholic Church along with appropriate renumeration for actual and punitive damages.

H. Robert Williams

A Letter from Krystal

Hey! This is a letter from Krystal that she wrote. She was supposed to write about dragons and dragon rights but she wrote about witches more.

Che'

Hi everybody! My name is Krystal and I really like making potions and spells. That’s because my grandma is a witch. She lives near Rugby Tennessee which is in the Cumberland Mountains. Sometimes she does a class at the Museum of Appalachia. She taught me all the things I know about witchcraft.

Che’ asked me to say something about dragons. I don’t know much about dragons but he said I should talk anyway. So I just want to say that ALL dragons should be free to do whatever it is they want to do. Because I think everybody should do whatever they want and that nobody has a right to tell anybody what to do. EVER. I also think most dragons are really, really cute.

I don’t know much about dragons but I know a lot bout witches. My grandma is really old. In fact she is actually my great great aunt. I think she is 93 or maybe even older. She has been a witch a long time. She learned witchcraft from her aunt who was also a witch. I think a lot of people don’t know very much about witches especially the old type of witch. A lot of people think that witches all worship nature. That’s not true AT ALL. My grandma doesn’t like nature which is why she is a witch. Yeah she does use nature to make potions and things. But if you ever saw her beat the heck out of a squirrel by pounding it really hard on a table you’d say to yourself “Hey she really doesn’t like nature very much.”

My grandma thinks that there is a lot of power out there inside nature. So she thinks pretty much everything has a use. Like toad skins and toad livers and toad legs all are used in different ways. She also smokes a lot. She grows her own tobacco and makes corn mash into whiskey. She doesn’t have many teeth.

My grandma is a REAL witch. Most of my friends who say they are witches are just stupid. They don’t know anything about it. Because to be a REAL witch you have to be able to pluck the eyes out of a rat with your finger nails while its still alive, and chop up snakes into little bits and eat bugs. I don’t do that kind of thing but I do buy all my ingredients for my spells from grandma.

A long time ago the witch had to live outside the community but they were really important. People, especially women went to see the witch if they had a problem. Sometimes the witch helped with women when they were having a baby. Some witches were mean. Like my grandma told me there was a witch who was really old
and she wanted someone to help her so she made a family give her one of their children or she would put a spell on them. The kid ran away from the witch but the family made the kid go back and live with the witch because they had too many kids already and they didn’t like the kid anyway. I think that kid was my grandma.

Back in the 1930’s a lot of people like my real grandparents moved into cities like Knoxville or Nashville to work making clothes. So my grandma was all by herself. Then some people from Vanderbilt went out and talked to her and wrote down some of her stories. She still lives by herself but a lot of people give her food and things. Even though I think it’s cool to be a witch I don’t think I want to be an old witch like her. I just like casting spells.

I think if there were dragons they would be like my grandma and kind of crazy and people would just see them to get their gold or maybe make them into potions. I think dragons would want to be left alone so they could do whatever they want. I think dragons should be allowed to eat people if they want to and I know a lot of people that would not mind being eaten by dragons.