Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Voters Guide: Ron Paul

Hey! You know how all those church people like the fundamentalists republicans and stuff are alwyas putting out voters guides. Well maybe its kind of early but I thought I needed to start for our Church of the World Ministry to put together some voter guides.

You know a lot of people don't pay as much attention to things as I do. Like how many of you knew that Lindsey Lohan was in trouble with the law? I mean I bet a lot of you don't even know who Lindsey Lohan is! And how many of you were watching all the stuff about Paris Hilton? I bet most of you weren't. Or who else was watching the Live Earth concerts? So anyway I think I'm pretty much up on things.

But I did some extra research. That means I googled the candidates and read some of the stuff that wasn't too technical and anything and I kind of wrote down what I liked and what I didn't. And then I gave them grades from F- to A+.

Anyway I am going to start with a republican. That is Representative Ron Paul from Texas.

About the Candidate: At first I thought it was RuPaul who was running for president and I thought AWESOME but then I saw the (R) thing and I said: HUH?! RuPaul is a republican? Which is also what I thought when Sonny Bono was a republican and I was thinking poor Cher! And it was true because Sonny was a republican and then I thought, yah well it kind of makes sense because Cher was all tall and Sonny was short and there kid is all Irish and stuff. But you know I'm not sure that Sonny Bono and Bono are actually related but probably because besides them who else is named Bono? Because Bon Jovi is just Bon! But you know Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen are related and there names aren't at all alike because Martin Sheen is there dad and changed his name.

Well it's actually Ron Paul who is an AMERICAN of 100% EUROPEAN DECENT and apparently not transexual at all. But you know, that might not be so bad because beside that transexual thing I think Al Gore is 100% european and he seems to be okay. And I think Father Tim is mostly european but maybe not. He also comes from Texas.

Typical Quote:
The most important element of a free society, where individual rights are held in the highest esteem, is the rejection of the initiation of violence.

I don't know what that means but you know I think that kind of stuff just sums him up because he's always saying stuff like that which you at first say YAH! RIGHT ON BROTHER! and then you get to thinking and you say HEY! WAIT! because you can only agree with half of it and probably he's just making fun of you and he actually works for Dick Cheney.

The good stuff: He's against pretty much every kind of war including the current one. He believes in Hemp farming (AWESOME!) and he believes people have a right to sue companies that mess up the environment. He's against the death penalty. He'd take away subsidies on big oil companies. Unfortunately these cool ideas are tied to a bunch of goofy ideas.

The bad stuff: He's totally anti-womyn and would let states decide about access to birth alternatives and family planning. He's also anti undocumented migrant worker. He supports Nuclear Power and thinks "the market" should decide about how to be greener. He doesn't believe in Social Justice programs like Welfare and stuff. He doesn't believe in taxing gasoline. He wants to repeal the 14th amendment which means that none of us will be citizens anymore because we were born here.

Overall: I give him a D. That means that I think you'd be pretty dumb to vote for him and he's probably just trying to trick people. If he was president the redistribution of wealth would pretty much STOP and the only thing government would do is shoot people trying to come here for jobs. I think Ron Paul wants to be king and that's why he's taking everybody's citizenship away so then nobody can vote anymore and he'll be president forever. The only good thing is that we could all wear stuff made out of hemp.

Anyway, to find out more you can go to but I bet they just LIE and stuff and MAKE THINGS UP AS THEY GO ALONG which is something people like me would NEVER EVER DO! So you don't have to go there.



Che' Lovell said...

Oh Yah! I meant Ron Paul is from Texas only he wasn't born there but in Pennsylvania.


Anonymous said...

Clear from the comments that there is absolutely no true research into who Ron Paul is or what he believes.

Sir Lefebvre Fellay Denzinger, HKTTC said...


Sir Feeney, he is mad at me for always "being inordinately cordial in thy correspondence with the heretic Che" (he alway talk like that, bro) but I got agree with you bout the whole migrant worker thing, chicanos got to stick together. Forget this Ron Paul heretic, man, till he be like all about making Mexico another state, yo.

Che', quite being a heretic, esse, and get into the Truly True Church, so we Latino brothers can be guerreros together, man.


Che' Lovell said...

Hey Mr. Anonymous! Are you telling me that Sonny Bono is related to Bono or not?

Because hey look at this from your own library!

Against Most Wars:
Yah, well he'd allow "constitutional wars" but that's about it. He's also against stuff like the "war on drugs"

Pro-Hemp farming:

Sue Companies that pollute:

He's against the death penalty.
Well, he's not so against it because he'd apparently execute terrorists.

He'd take away subsidies on big oil companies:

Anyway that's just the good stuff but I could continue for the bad stuff. Anyway, Mr. Anonymous if you can PROVE he's not actually a plot by Dick Cheney than do it.