So you don't get confused, here is my analysis of the document, which I did with Maryann, of course, to make sure that it was good.
- Did Vatican II Change How We Are Church? Well, according to the Pope, it didn't. Come on! Basically, before V2, there may have been a Church, but nobody WAS Church! Dig?
- Is the Church of Christ in the Catholic Church? This is just stupid. The Church of Christ is a whole different Church - they meet in little white buildings and handle snakes and stuff. You'd think the Pope would know this kind of thing.
- Why did Vatican II say Subsist? This is one of the Mysteries of Vatican II. There are Seven Mysteries of Vatican II, and we're not allowed to talk about them. That's what a Mystery is. They shouldn't be talking about this. Heck! Neither should I! Enough said.
- Why do Greek Faith Communities get to be called Churches? Now this one gets my blood boiling. If there's any people who AREN'T Church, it's the Greeks. Have you ever been to one of those Greek things? I mean - come on! What's with the hats?
- Why Don't Protestants Get To Be Called Church? I'll tell you why - it's a power grab. The Pope wants to say who is Church and who is not Church. Who told him he was the authority on this? Huh? It's all big scam set to tick off our good ecumenical friends. Look - you can't just go around saying other people aren't Church. That's judgemental, and the First Commandment says "Judge Not!". How can we be Church if we're telling other people that they can't be Church? I'll tell you what, this is just like when John the Baptist threw the Moneychangers out of the Temple, or when Hyram the Mason built the pyramids.
Well, I think that pretty well clarifies all of this document nonsense. Now I've got to stop 'blogging and email all my ecumenical friends to reassure them that no-one listens to the Pope anyhow.