Thursday, May 31, 2007

Siege (Cough... Cough...) Conclusion

Dear friends... cough... cough... splutter...

I have news which is both... tragic... and joyful... (cough... cough...) Despite a valiant resistance from the Hugo Chavez brigades... (cough... cough...) the forces of Orthodoxy have proven too powerful. The continuous pounding of miraculous medals held down our right flank while a surge by the Knights of Columbus with lances lowered overwhelmed our left. We made a last defense within the sacristy. Father Tim was valiant as he waved the special rainbow banner. But the Sisters of Charity turned the tables against us once they seized the media units and began to play EWTN from a satellite feed. Father Juno converted his jailers and they opened the sacristy door to the horde... Keith, if you get this message.... The remnants (cough... splutter... cough...) have scattered, hopefully can regather under Sister Fairah.

It was Father Thomas Dubay who finally got to me. (Cough... cough...) St John of the Cross... and the chaplet of divine mercy. (Cough... cough....) I never knew.... (Cough... GAG...) I never knew... I never....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... aaaaaaaaaaaa...
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh,

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

No! Don't leave us! How can we cope without our daily dose of SOVII insanity? I was just about to make you chaps my home page! Come back!

EegahInc said...

Don't worry Ms. Simms. If the Da Vinci Code taught us anything, it's that the oppressive forces of orthodoxy can only suppress the truth for so long. If this is indeed the end for this particular expression of the God-spirit, have faith that their voices will rise again in some form, in some manner, until that day when men and womyn of all races, creeds, and sexual orientations stand together in positive mutual acceptance! (sniff)I feel the need to go cry now.

Anonymous said...

WE WILL NEVER CRY DEFEAT! I PROMISE TO RESCUE YOU, CHE! WE CAN DO ALL THINGS IN CHRIST!
Sr. Fairah

Anonymous said...

Quick someone! Activate the womynpriest bat signal!

Fight the liturgical police Che! I know you can do it!

Cathy_of_Alex said...

Welcome home, Che!

Anonymous said...

It's the end of an era.

Where oh where will we thinking Catholics ever find a progressive parish!?