Thursday, May 24, 2007

New Artwork for SOV2

Hey! The 'blog has been kind of morbid lately, what with Keith getting in trouble with the local nazis and Fr. Juno bringing the ecclesiastic heat down on our faith community. And all this during the same week that the pope gave us his thumbs-up. What a whirlwind! I haven't been this stirred up since I got to review that Mel Gibson movie for Commonweal (that was a week! You should check out my review in the back issues. It was me who coined the phrase "jackbooted neo-con fantasy").

Anyway, with all the negative vibes that have been flying around, I thought I'd cheer you up by showing you one of the new pieces of art that will be suspended over our baptismal pool. I can't wait to see it there on Sunday afternoon.

Peace, I'm out,

Fr. T


Maryann McGronk said...

Tim, that is so cool! Where did you get that?

And I think it's perfect for the baptismal pool...what symbolism there.

Tim, you are so ENLIGHTENED! I'm proud of you!

Tim, when I'm ordained as a priest, I want you to be my sponsor. I was going to ask one of the other Womynpriests, but you're just growing in leaps and bounds so I think I might ask you.

Father Tim said...


Careful with that whole ordination thing. I'm beginning to think Ché was right about the diocesan spy business. Also, you were explaining to me why kneelers are tools of patriarchical oppression. I'm trying to work that into my homily for pentecost, but I keep getting mixed up. Could you send me an email recapping how the hinges represent excessive dowries, and how the kneeler cushions are related to the Borgia popes? Sorry I'm so obtuse lately. I'm a little addled because I don't think Britnee gave me the right Birkenstocks. I'm pretty sure that my pair had tassels.

Cathy_of_Alex said...

Hey, I think your Angelina Jolie with Maddox statue is really cool! It correlates nicely with that recent painting of Ms. Jolie as Mary.

Anonymous said...


I'm pretty sure Keith smoked the tassles before the nazis got him. He's great with leatherwork maybe he'll carve some new ones for you. It'll be genuine fake leather, don't worry! Or maybe made of the branches of the green tea leaves he grows.

I'll try to find the email I sent you before.

Basically, the kneeler is a sign of subjugation to the MAN. What do we do when we kneel? We make ourselves less than God, and we know that we are God ourseives, we are divinity. So the divinity in me speaks to the divinity in you.

That's why you come and sit with us insted of on that archaic "throne" in the center. Personally I think you should put a toilet there. (Not a usable one - yuck!)

When we just have a bench to sit on this is good because we have solidarity.

But when we kneel,not everyone can kneel because they have knee problems and stuff. Then look at the hinges...they're like the shackles, and if we kneel we directly shackle ourselves to this sign of oppression. The Hinge keeps us hooked to this thing, and it only goes up or down, there's no freedom, no left to right. It's like a knee joint, not like a hip, which is very freeing because when you ahve a mobile hip you can put your ankles behind your head.

But with kneelers, we can't do that. So it's oppressive.

~ Maryann

(sorry...can't get my password to work! I think the Man hacked me!)

Bartholomew said...

Wow, over the baptismal pool? Better use really strong wires. Wouldn't want it coming down and breaking the font, or killing one of the new brothers or sisters.

Speaking of baptism, what did you think of my idea of baptizing in the name of the Creator, the Redeemer and the Sanctifier? Or maybe the Mother the Dude and the Holy Bird.

The possiblilties are endless!


Maryann McGronk said...

Well, I totally get you with the Mother, the Dude, and the Holy Bird, but we don't want any kind of mention of the patriarch...and "dude" is a term for guys.

So I have to say Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier is the creed we go by around here.

If there were kids in this parish (thank the Creator that this community does NOT contribute to the population problem), we'd be teaching them about how God is female, and they have to be in touch with the divine feminine, always.

But maybe we can use the "Holy bird" image if someone ever does bring kids here. Maybe we should be prepared to have a childrens' ministry for people who choose to carry that tissue to term.

Bartholomew said...

But MaryAnn, Jesus was a dude. He had a wing-wang. I know because it says in the Bible that they cut part of it off.

So we can have God the Mother, Jesus the Dude, and the Holy Bird to represent all of our animal friends.

Because all women is just not diversity as I learned it at SOV2!

Maryann McGronk said...

Well, Barthomomew, Jesus might have been a hermaphrodite, so we have to be careful not to inflict the patriarchar anglo-saxon viewpoint upon Jesus.

Besides, if you read the DaVinci Code, it talks about Rennaissance Art and how Jesus is all feminine like Mary Magdalene who is leaning into "his" chest. So you see that what probablyhappened was DaVinci had a past-life regression experience during which he was present at the Last Supper, so painted what he saw - and it looks like Jesus was proably really female.

We don't really want to use anything around here other than gender-neutral language, because we don't want to offend people who might be hermaphrodites like Jesus, or the transvestites or transgendered people who attend here.

So I have to veto the "dude" reference. I suppose we should talk about this at the next Parish Council drum circle in the Spirit Maze.

Che' Lovell said...

I really don't understand all these issues about art and things. Banners! I want banners

And why must we always be talking about gender? Don't we know there is no gender in the liberated society? I mean what really counts is whether or not this art is "of the peoples!"

I am not sure since it is of the peoples. I don't know much about art but I think if it had less form and more color it would be better. Otherwise I think it should be of a great revolutionary leader. May I suggest the great liberator Robert Mugabe? If we had Mugabe descending like a dove above the baptismal pool I think that would BE AWESOME! Or we could have a Robert Mugabe embracing Harry Belafonte and Tim Robbins. But if we really need a womyn in the strict externally-gender way we could have Julia Roberts.

Since Britnee looks a little like Julia Roberts I suggest that we have someone make a sculpture of her and coming out of the baptismal pool with no clothes because that would symbolize that earth-woman spirit thing that Maryann is always blathering on about. It would be REALLY COOL.

Todd Turk said...

Cut it out Che. You just don't like this art work because you know it will resonate with the joyful noise of the choir but your banners are dampers AND RUIN THE ACOUSTICS! How many times do I have to tell you this!?

And yesterday I found a pair of wadded up boxer shorts inside the tuba. I know it was Britnee and I know you put her up to it.

I hate to remind you but I am the president of the parish council and if I want to I'll shut you down. Try to have your drum circle at the Karns jail without the use of the church van! Or for that matter without the use of the church drums.

And besides, Julia Roberts is a tramp. I heard she donated to Schwarzenneggers' re-election campaign and that she SMOKES CIGARETTES!

Che' Lovell said...


I am very angry right now. Julia Roberts is not a republican. Next you will be saying that she has been a guest on Rush Limbaugh or something. It is obvious that Julia Roberts cares about peoples and animals and is very thin. If she smoked I am sure it is part of a commercial against why people shouldn't smoke or something.

And first you drive Keith out and now you are trying to drive Britnee and me out too. This is just like the Bay of Pigs invasion all over again. Who are you really Todd? Richard Nixon? Walter G. Liddy? Are you going to break into stonegate or something?


Todd Turk said...

Çhe you keep accusing me of driving out Keith when all I did was warn you about hanging around with him getting you into trouble and hte same is true of Britnee who is BIG TROUBLE! We used to get half of our choir from the single adults until Britnee started her SOV2 Singles group and now instead of making a joyful noise all the young people in this parish are out at demonstrations and raves and stuff. And I meant it about Julia Roberts. You cna check it out on the internet - she dontated to SCHWARZENNEGER!