Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Bad News!

Hey SOV2 folks - The devil is really upset with all the good work we've been doing because he's raised up his minions again. KEITH'S BEEN ARRESTED! I was there when it happened and I can't tell you how upset I am.

We were going out to Victor Ashe Park to commune with the cognitive artist's guild before Keith goes up to Canada and we just stopped by a Rocky Top market. I went in to get a six pack of mello yello and when I came back there's about four state trooper's surrounding Keith's purple saturn wagon. They have Keith pinned down to the hood. And they're pulling out all his green leaf tea. Then they were trying to stuff him into one of their cruisers but he wouldn't fit because he is kind of big in proportion to the door. (I mean he's really fat and the door isn't so big but I'm not supposed to say he's fat because that get's him mad.) Then the troopers are looking around and they might have seen me, I'm not sure. Anyway, it's like another Garden of Cavalry or something, because I take off into the woods. Now I kind of know how the disciples felt. I mean, if someone had grabbed my cloak I would have been naked getting away.

Anyway, I'm getting together a big group of Keith's friendes and we're going to sit down in front of the Karns Police Station sing songs and have a campfire until they release Keith to us. I'll try and let everybody knows what happened as soon as I can.


Anonymous said...

Um....don't you know that Vatican II did away with all that "devil" stuff? There is no "Satan". That's just a myth held over from one of the old cultural religions of the past. There is no "good" and "evil". There are spirits, but they're only what we use them to be.

Sounds to me like Keith's been taken down by "the man".

If Charles Manson was still out and about he'd of taken care of all THAT in a heartbeat!

~ Flower Child

Father Tim said...


Wow! What an ordeal you've been through! I just wanted to reassure you that Keith is OK. I got a call from Sister June May Wabash of the Environmental Peace Alliance. She got arrested on Saturday while trying to break into the Y-12 nuclear bomb plant. It turns out that she's in the same jail as Keith and she says that he is being treated very well and is very popular with the other inmates.

Also, Sister June said that she is being treated deplorably and is being tortured. I think we should all offer up a prayer for Sister June and for the inmates at Gwantonnamo.

Fr. Tim

(PS, Sister June said that next time, she thinks if she doesn't call the media in advance, she'll be able to sneak past the guards. Apparently the camera crews gave her away).

swissmiss said...


Let me know when the sit in will be, you know. I'm there and all. I can bring my flute and bongos. The Man has to be stopped. This is, like, you know, brutality or something. It's so wrong, so wrong. Power to the people! Hang in there, Keith.

Yo, Tim man. Maybe we can have you say Mass or something outside the jail. You can use the hood of my VW. My roomie made some wine we can use and I can grab a loaf of bread. Anybody got any brats?

Chow, dudes.

paramedicgirl said...

Tell Keith he will fit right in in Canada. He will probably LOVE our Can Church here too. No GIRM, no Humanae Vitae, just the Canadian Conference of Confused Bishops to guide the Spirit of VII'ers into more confusion. If they ever let him across the border, that is...

Ma Beck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Canada is SO freaking progressive!!
University health care or what have you, everyone gets to go to college without joining the National Guard, and now I find out their churches are progressive, too!!!
Plus, lots of moose.

(I don't like their bacon, though - yuck!!!)

Anonymous said...

I know the cops got the green tea, but they didn't happen to mention anything about any fungi which might have been in a small brown paper bag in the back seat pocket of the Saturn, did they?
Do you know, did they compound his car??
P.S.S. Pleaaaase don't mention anything to the police if they ask about this. Just say we were going to make a veggie pizza and what business is it of theirs anyways...
IF they ask. But not if they don't.

Anonymous said...

Do you know that if you put a penny in your mouth when the cops take a PBT test, it won't "read" and you can get off?

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Other Anonymous.
(Plus, a man woke up in a bathtub full of ice with a backache and HIS KIDNEYS WERE MISSING!!! OMG!!!)

Che' Lovell said...

I talked to Keith today, they let one of us in and man I was so thrilled that the vote turned out in my favor. So I was really happy about all the Christian love sent my way. I know how much we are all church. I mean, Keith has a lot of friends and it was close and all, but I beat out his mom by seven votes to four, IN YOUR FACE KEITH'S MOM!

Keith is writing a letter called Letter from Karns Jail and in it he's going to say what's so messed up about the fact he's in jail and all the people who really mess up the world are allowed to walk around free. But there still oppressing him. They are only giving him three 200 page spiral bound notebooks a day which is ridiculous! I mean are they trying to bore him to death?


P.S. Britnee Keith said he ate everything in the brown bag as soon as the fuzz was on him.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Keith is soooo like Johnny Cash...before he cleaned up and stuff.

--Taheetee Moonbeam (Britnee, U like?)