Thursday, May 17, 2007

Regarding the Knights of Columbus

Hey! When I got back from retreat, a couple of my ministers came to me to let me know that some people in the parish had been spreading around a story that I had told the Knights of Columbus that they couldn't have one of their clubs here at SOV2. I wanted to take a minute and let you all know that this is completely false. I know who is spreading these stories around, and I have to say that it is damaging the communion here at SOV2 and the culprits are not going to be allowed to participate in any ministries until they stop spreading scandal.

What really happened was this: I was approached this past winter by a couple of new parishioners who wanted to form a Knights of Columbus club at SOV2. After thinking about it for a while, and doing some research, I told them no. I have two objections. First, Maryann McGronk did some research too and gave me the following quote from Pope Leo XIII: "Under your guidance, let parents, religious instructors, and priests having the cure of souls, use every opportunity, in their Christian teaching, of warning their children and pupils of the infamous nature of these societies so that they may learn in good time to beware of the various and fraudulent artifices by which their promoters are accustomed to ensnare people."

Second, from everything I could see on their website, the Knights of Columbus basically worship priests and the pope. This stinks of CLERICALISM, and I have to say as pastor of this faith community that I won't have clericalism in my parish!

Also, Ché Lovell, who is very familiar with such things, told me that the Knights of Columbus is basically a right-wing beer drinking club who spend all their time harassing womyn about their choices and wearing funny hats. I don't want to judge (judge not, lest ye be judged), nor do I want to interfere with anyone's Freedom of Expression, but I have to say that such a club would be a distraction to the many ministries in our faith community.

Finally, as Ché pointed out, the Knights of Columbus club won't allow any womyn to join, which is very much against all our policies here at SOV2.

So I invited these guys to instead form a new SOV2 Myn's Club, and they are considering it. So you can see that the gossip and rumors that are being spread around are entirely baseless and false.


Che' Lovell said...

Father Tim you are so right. The KOfC is actually a paramilitary organization front for Opus Dei. They train with actual swords and have secret handshakes and are supporting fascist dictatorships in Central and South America all the time! All their womyn are sent to something called the "Auxillary" where I am sure they are exploited and suppressed. And they have a vast financial empire which they use to lobby against the rights of womyn, indigeneous peoples, minorities, "dissident" theologians and various fashion designers. In fact they don't wear berets and have ABSOLUTELY NO fashion sense.

I know for a fact that everbody in the CIA belongs to KOfC. Plus they use trans-fats in their fried chicken oil that makes you want to eat more chicken than you should.

I'm thinking Keith should follow them around because he's pretty fat. You know Keith, I think he's 350-450 pounds and maybe 6' 3" or something. He looks like he might drink a lot of beer and that's what KOfC people do is drink beer because we all know that beer is made of things that could be used to feed hungry people and all Opus Dei is concerned about is making sure we don't know THE TRUTH. And they shouldn't eat chickens.

Rob said...

Plus, even their name reeks of that Medievalism that was so rampant before the Second Vatican Council. The word "knight" is an archaism recalling times of chauvenism and prejudice towards womyn.
And who was Columbus? A white European male, who even had slaves.


Che' Lovell said...

Amen Rob! I want to ban Columbus day and I think we should rename all the cities like Columbus Ohio and Columbia South Carolina and the District of Columbia to more appropriate things that reflect the feelings and attitudes of the indigenous peoples that Columbus caused to be exploited because of the masculo-fascism. I think it should be something like "Wind-Spirit" Ohio.

Keith said...


I am not fat. I am only 270 pounds. This is why I prefer the music ministry. Todd doesn't have a hangup with bigger people. But you don't seem to like anybody except Britnee, Mary Ann McGronk and Father Tim. I'm not sure I want you in my band anymore. Britnee can play the tambourine which is a girly instrument.


Che' Lovell said...

Well after this mornings performance I'm not sure I want to play tambourine for you guys anyway. That rendition of Stairway to Heaven was awful. I mean it sounded good in your garage but I don't know if it is the echoes or what. And I thought Imagine during the reflection was going to be good 'cause we could all stand up and put our hands in the air and kind of sway, but everyone had their fingers in their ears.

And its no good denying the fact you have a problem Keith because you ate twice as much pizza Friday night at our Rally for Humanity as anyone else.

Todd Turk said...

Che - I think it would be best if you confineed yourself to social justice activities. Evidence? That wasn't "Stairway To Heaven", but "Staircase To Heaven." The former is a 1970's acid-rock song by Led Zeppelin. The latter is a 1990's prog-rock song by the contemp rock band Spiritgush. If you didn't even know what song you were playing, no wonder you thought it was awful. I noticed that you were having a hard time with the 7/14 rhythm. This is not a dig at you, but you've got to use your talents where they are best suited. Also, I didn't see anyone with their fingers in their ears during Imagine, except Fr. Juno, and you know how he is.

And stop picking on Keith. I'm starting to think you're a Weightist.

Che' Lovell said...

Now I'm really mad because Keith apparently played a joke on me and I had different music than everybody else. But I think you're right because I can't do 7/14. I mean that's too hard. Is that the 3/8 note gets a count of 1? I just don't know. My head is still hurting. At least I still have my red backpack.

Anonymous said...

I am so confused.
I must have looked like an ass outside the KFC holding a sign that said, "Masculofascists right-winger crazy plume hat wearers - you are not wanted at SOV2!"

Anonymous said...

I pledge allegience to the flag
of the United States of America
and to the Republic for which it
stands one nation, under God,
indivisible, with liberty
and justice for all.

George Ioperio, PGK said...

Uh... that Leo XIII quote was from his encyclical condemning freemasons - it has nothing to do with the Knights. The Knights of Columbus have supported and been supported by every Pope since Leo XIII. Check your facts next time. I think your Maryann Mcgronk has an axe to grind.