Wednesday, September 12, 2007

How to Raise Your Children as Progressive Catholics

Hey Everybody!

Well, the last few weeks on this 'blog have gotten some responses that made me think alot about the coming generations in our faith communities. First off, it seems like everytime I turn around, there's some Homeschoolers. Second, I must admit that when I look out into the worship space and see the faith communicants, I have noticed that there aren't a lot of young peoples there. Other than Keith, Todd, Britnee, and Ché, almost everyone else (except Mizz Argot) is over 50. And then I hear stories about how all the youths are being seduced by Traddie Latin Masses and going to World Youth Day and stuff like that.

For a little while, I got depressed, but then I thought that it is really our fault, as ministers of the faith community, that we haven't been outreaching enough. And our faith communicants have never really gotten instruction on how to raise their kids so that they turn out progressive, and not get drawn away to some medieval cesspool like Steubenville. And I realized that (thank the communal-Spirit!) we still have places like Boston College, Georgetown, and University of Dayton to turn the traddie kids back into progressive Catholics and freethinkers.

But we've got to do our parts too. So I've put together a quick guide that you parents in SOV2 can use to make sure your kids turn out all right:

  1. Stay away from the Rosary!: This is the tool of oppression, and is very dangerous. Kids who are taught to pray the rosary stand at a very high risk of become robotic followers of the Papal Overlord
  2. Read Good Catholic Magazines: Magazines like America and St Anthony Messanger and National Catholic Reporter should be left around the house. For the Spirit's sake, don't make your kids read them, but trust that they will be guided to pick one up and start some healthy questioning
  3. Let them decide whether to go to Mass: From an early age, let it be their choice whether to go to Mass or not. If you go to a good progressive faith community like SOV2, then they will probably want to come and be eucharist, but if they don't - it's cool You should stay home with them and show them that the Spirit is everywhere
  4. Be a Double-Tither: Nothing shows a kid what you value more than where you send your money, so make sure they know how much money you're sending to your faith community
  5. Stay Away from Parochial Schools: What's worse than Homeschooling? Nothing! But almost as bad is sending your kids to one of those schools run by the nuns that still wear those black and white dresses. If you send your kid to one of those schools, you can kiss them goodbye.
  6. Don't openly question your Progressive Priest: We face enough difficulty as it is, battling Rome, and things like that. You should make sure that your kids are raised to discriminate between the Progs and Trads, and to obey the Progs reflexively so that they don't have to worry about every little issue. Basically, we're going to tell them to do whatever their conscience says is OK, so you don't have to worry. But if you contradict us, you are putting your kids in danger of not being church
  7. Vote Democrat: And make sure you tell your kids who you voted for so that they don't end up as a Rad Trad Republican!
  8. Protest, Protest, Protest! There are an amazing array of things to protest - you might find some even in your own progressive faith community. You should always be asking things like "is my faith community progressive enough." If your kids see you protest against even trivial things, they will realize that nothing should be taken for granted, and that your conscience demands that you stand up and be heard when you think something isn't right.
  9. Pamper your kids, but don't make them the center of your attention: Nothing warps a kid's personality and social outlook like thinking that he/she is the most important thing in your life. Show your kids that you will buy them anything they want, but make sure that they know that protesting and activism are more important to you than they are. That way they'll know how to raise their kids in turn.
  10. Read to your kids! Good books like The Winnipeg Manifesto and anything by Hans Kung or Charles Curran would be great. Reading Dym Curran to your kids will also help them embrace healthy sexuality.
  11. Help your kids embrace Ecumenism and Diversity: Instead of those old holidays like Christmas and Easter, celebrate things like "Reformation Sunday" and "Ramadan," so that your kids see that embracing all faiths is a valid moral value judgement.

These are just a few ways you can make a difference in your kids' lives, and help ensure that they stay on one of the thousands of good paths, and off of that one bad path that leads to eurocentric traditionalism. I hope this helps you out, and I look forward to seeing your kids at SOV2 - if they want to be there.


Rae said...

Love the list, Fr. Tim!! Here's another suggestion for raising little progressive Catholics:

Make sure that your children understand that, when at Mass, they should always be doing something "active"--whether singing along, making the responses, running in the aisles, punching their siblings, coloring in those Missalette things... All joyful activity is prayer! Stillness and listening and (heaven forbid) private thought do not constitute active participation in the liturgy... Plus, they're generally selfish and Just. Not. Church.

Citizen Cane said...

Hey i thought it would be great given the post and the mention of Ramadan to mention our Islamic friends and show what a great people they are here are some verse from the Koran
-A woman is worth one-half a man. 2:282
-Males are to inherit twice that of females. 4:11
-Instructions for exchanging wives 4:20
-Homosexual acts are condemned as unnatural. (Will ye commit abomination such as no creature ever did before you?) 7:80-81
-Male homosexual activities are condemned as unnatural. 26:165-6
-Male homosexuals commit abominations and act senselessly. 27:54-55
-Male homosexuals acts are condemned as unnatural. 29:28-29

Paul, just this guy, you know? said...

Wow, Fr. Tim, what a great list! And Rae's additions are good, too!

You're a shining example of how we Catholics can learn from people of a different faith than ours.

Father Tim said...

Hey Citizen Cane! I think I detected a note of sarcasm in your post - because you pointed out a lot of things that the muslims do that we don't think are cool, like being oppressive.

But you have to remember that you can only make value judgements about your own culture. Because we're not arabs or muslims, we have no right to criticize. What's more, there's nothing wrong with a muslim oppressing a womyn because that's what their value judgements tell them to do. It's all about the culture. Plus, they don't know any better.

You have to keep in mind that it's the eurocentric western WASP & Catholic (EWWC) cultures that have destroyed both the physical and moral environments of the world. If muslims do some bad stuff, it's because the EWWC cultures have put them in a position where they can do nothing else. That's why celebrating Ramadan is a way to be church to the muslims, whereas copying their oppressive ways would be a violation of our own moral imperitive to never judge anything except our own reactionary culture.

Father Tim said...

Hey Paul, thanks for the big ups! But I can't unban your 'blog because you haven't walked around the Knoxville 640 interchange three times carrying a "Get your Rosaries off my Ovaries" banner.

Anonymous said...

Dym Tim
Great ideas. I'd add more:
Make sure youre 'up' on social networking, and letting your kids be on the 'net as much as they want, any time they want. they are a digital society, afterall ... and get the schools to quit blocking great web 2.0 technolgoy like blogs and social networking. That way, the kids can discuss great topics like abortion and inclusion during the school day.

And by the way, I'm not 50 yet!

Father Tim said...

Hey there Sister! Sorry about that whole "50 years old" thing - I thought you were overcompensating for your age by "dressing younger" - not that there's anything wrong with the way you dress

(although I've seen Dr. Argot looking your way on a time or too, "L.O.L.")

Anonymous said...

Stop while you're behind, Dym!

sophia said...

Make sure the kiddies go to all the youth gatherings that do nothing but Social Justice Service Projects, and whose mantra is:
"No Doctrine, All The Time!"

The Service Projects should involve The Environment, like clearing the stream beds of any rocks that look suitable for the Holy Water Font, because that's recycling. And for Social Justice, they can talk about how unjust it is that there's not green leaf tea readily available, which is a really social thing.

And make sure the kiddoes have enough tambourines on hand so that they can make a joyful noise whenever they need to, like in place of the funny jingle bells formerly used at the consecration. Because that's when we can celebrate being eucharist to one another.

Sr.Thistle Peacetrain said...

And please by all means bring the kids to the Mt St. Alphonsis retreat ctr in NY. They are having a talk on St.Francis, and how "he became open to the masculine and feminine energies within and without" Hmmm...St Francis was transgendered? Who knew?? Thats being totally church dont you think??

Anonymous said...

I forgot to mention the Taize Prayer you can also go to with the kids...nothin but safe fun here! Can I get an AMEN!

Anonymous said...

I gottanidea!

have adoration and benediction in latin--then when all *those* people crowd in, give em a good social justice homily with the kids tambourines playing and sister Fairah dancing!

the Mom said...

I will take your list under advisement. I am not sure that I can find a school out in the boonies where we live. Would it be acceptable to invite people to share our land and for a commune of sorts? Then we could have a communal school. That would be church, wouldn't it?

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I still can't handle Latin ANYTHING... even if it is a lure.

mi comrade said...

Dym Tim--
Some other suggustions:
Get Planned Parenthood in there to talk to the womyn about their reproductive choices. Maybe handing out contraceptives when they come to receive the community meal?

Make sure the children don't hang out with any Republikkkans. Don't allow Republikkkans into your house under ANY circumstances, or your children will never be able to think for themselves.

V-chip EWTN! That channel is nothing but a cesspool of Cathlofascism! All that Latin can't be good for anyone! May want to block Fundamentalist Protestant channels while you're at it, since sometimes those can be just as dangerous!

Make sure to consult the guide posts to colleges that Sr. Fairah posted in July!

I had another one, but I forgot about it after returning from my Reiki session.

Anonymous said...


could you dance anyway, Please?