How H. Robert Williams is Kept Alive

Hey this is really for my friend Agent Smith and also Eegah(inc?) and Scifi Catholic.

I know there not church and stuff but anyway I still think there web-sites are pretty cool. Especially when they talk about Anime and stuff like that. And Eegahinc after I got back from Connecticut I was watching this movie on youtube called "Warrior of the Lost World." Its awesome and stuff because its got this cool motorcycle that talks and its older than knight rider I think except its set in the future so its not. But Eegah is doing this going to hell week and so you really should go over there even though he is taking some time off and read all the cool stuff he has to say. But its kind of maybe too radtrad.

D. G. D. Davidson who is the Scificatholic can't be a radtrad because he looks like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix which was an AWESOME movie. We used to watch it a lot but H. Roberts got sick of it and somehow made the DVD player melt it Its kind of weird because he can somehow program stuff. Like he made the microwave beep really loud. I met Keanu Reeves when I was in Hollywood one time. He is an AWESOME actor and he even said "Excellent" and "Bogus." That's cause I was hanging out with Sean Penn. I mean Sean Penn is also AWESOME... but not as awesome as Julia Roberts because she is really really cool.

Well Agent Smith wanted to know how the stuff that keeps H. Robert alive works. So here goes (because I am not a scientist type person).

There's this wind mill thing on the roof of our apartment and a solar panel too and this cord which attaches to them. My dad gave me the money for my birthday and Keith knows some people who need a lot of electricity to run a lot of lights under there houses so they know how to do this kind of thing and they put it up for me. Then the two cords go into this box and another cord comes out and is attached to another box. This one makes a humming sound all the time especially at night. I think it makes hydrogen from corn or something but I might be wrong because I don't know who puts all the corn in the box but its not me. This box is in the room with H. Robert. We drilled a hole through the wall.

Anyway a bunch of cords come out of this box and one of them goes to the computer thing and another goes to the PS2 and another goes to the TV and another goes to Keith's flourescent lights in the closet in his room where all the green leaf tea is growing all the time. Oh yah. and another is hooked up to the toaster and the microwave and refridgerator.

Oh yah! I forgot to mention there was this other cord attached to the first box which goes into those things which look like telephone lines. I think Keith said we're actually supplying power to the phone companies or something so we're reducing green house gasses. I don't know why that's there. What's really cool is now we don't use electricity at all which shows you that green power works! And I never see the wind mill going at all!

Anyway H. Robert kind of floats in the jar most of the time. When he get's really excited he kind of goes to the top and if he's sad or asleep he kind of floats to the bottom.

Another cord comes from the second box that hums and goes to this box thing that the jar sits on and bubbles come out. I don't think the bubbles do anything but I asked Tom Cruise if he could make it bubble and he said sure. And there's all these sensors and stuff that read the magnetic field which I think Krystal said was the aura and that's how you know what H. Robert's is thinking if he wants you to know because sometimes he doesn't.

Anyway I have all this salt and sugar and I mix it with two cups of luke warm water and I pour that into the jar two times a day and I take out the same amount of old water. But I'm not supposed to let it drop below this red line because that would be bad. And I have to wear gloves because of the germs.

This halloween (sorry Father Tim I meant Samhain fest) I'm going to take H. Robert to the church and set him up there for a little bit. And then I'm going to see if I can put a lightbulb in there with him. That way when we turn off the lights he'll kind of glow.

Che'