Friday, September 14, 2007

Disturbing Trends in Birthings

Hey everybody!

While keeping an eye on the RadTrad NeoCathlofascists, I stopped in at the banned website of Paul: Regular Thoughts, and what do you know, he's got some statistics about how "conservative" christians are birthing more kids than liberal christians!!!

Well duh! Basically the conservative christians don't care about how their birthings are affecting their nuclear unit's carbon impact on the earth, and the liberals and secularists are being responsible progenerators and only birthing an amount adequate to ensure that the demographic of liberals remains strong enough to provide a pro-environment and pro-choice voting bloc. Anyone can see that!

What's really weird about this is that in the City of The Whore of Babylon, where you would think that the naughtiest of RadTrad types live, the birthing rate is super-low, which goes to show that the Europeans are ahead of us (as usual) in reducing their carbon footprint.

Of course, there's some really scary news as well, which doesn't bode well for us proggies. Apparently some liberals are being irresponsible and overexercising their choice, and this selfishness could end up costing us the demographic we need to Keep Hope Alive.

And it ain't just republicans who are outbirthing us, even the mormons are at it!

So how about this for an idea: Birthing offsets! Here's how it works: A wealthy secularist or progressive christian life-couple will make a valid life choice not to allow the parasitic fetus to develop to the point where it might become a child. But in order to prevent them from facing the Unforgivable Sin of allowing Republicans to win elections, they will then pay a mormon family to raise one of their existing kids as a liberal. The over-producing mormon family thus gets money to feed their starving kids, the progressive life-couple get to know that they are raising a liberal child, even without having to compromise their lifestyles, and the Democratic party gets a new votor in 18 years!

Clearly, I've been inspired by the Spirit!

1 comment:

Che' Lovell said...

You know I come from a big family because I've got a sister and also a mom and a dad and a step-mom named Brenda. And Brenda has a kid named Aston Martin and he's a jerk because he's always over at my dad's and using all my dad's things like his boat and his motorcycle and they went with him on vacation to Macau and I was like "HEY! I WANT TO GO TOO" but they said. "Che' this is Brenda's family thing."

So I think that it's okay if I don't have any kids or something because if I did I couldn't do all the stuff I do all the time and I couldn't hang out with Keith because its hard enough having a girl around him because there all like "Keith is so fat!" and I'm like "Yah! But he can really dance." And there like "And you guys are slobs." And I'm like "but your roommate is a republican so I don't want to go over there 'cause she'll just be all about blowing indigeneous people up and stuff because republicans are fascists."

I wish my mom lived closer but she thinks Tennessee is too hillbillyish and likes to hang out with Ralph Nader.