Thursday, September 6, 2007

Homeschooling Ain't Church

Hey! Well, in one of the "combox" exchanges below, me & The Mom had a little go-round about my decision to ban 'blogs where there was a palpable and unrepentant penumbra of homeschooling. And in order to be eucharist to The Mom, I thought I'd better explain a little bit about why Homeschooling is so bad. So here is my list of reasons that Homeschooling is bad:

  1. Homeschooling Rejects Communion: How can kids be in communion with one another when they're at home? Answer: They can't!
  2. Homeschoolers are Neocaths, RadTrads, and Cathlofascists: Have you ever talked to one of those Homeschooling parents? talk about Phariseeism - man!
  3. Homeschooling is a Negative Value Judgement Against Public Education: Face it - the French Revolution and the Public Education System here in America are the greatest events that the world has ever seen, at least since Plato was forced to drink the poison by the fascists in Greece. When you Homeschool, you are basically saying "I can teach my kids better than a licensed teacher." Come on, people!
  4. Homeschooled kids are Overpriviledged: They are the winners of life's lottery already, since all Homeschooling Parents are rich. Why should Homeschooled kids get all that attention?
  5. Homeschooling oppresses Womyn: Who do you think is staying home and doing the homeschooling? The man? No way! Over 99.6% of all homeschooling parents are womyn. This is just another way to keep them locked up in the house and not pursuing happiness through a career.
  6. Homeschooled kids are 67% more likely to become exploitive white males: Look it up. Statistics don't lie.
  7. Public Education was Good Enough for Me!: Case closed. I am a product of Public Education, and when you Homeschool, you're not only making a Value Judgement about the Public Education System, you're making a Value Judgement about everyone educated in the Public Education System

Think about it!


H Robert Williams said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
H Robert Williams said...

How right you are Father Tim!

I would only like to add one thing: Home-Schooling promotes the concept of the family as the fundamental element of the state. This out-moded concept (which we quite nearly stamped out!) lies at the root of the alienation between people and in direct opposition to the feminine ideal that says we are all children of a single great mother.

Most primitive cultures actually have this understanding of society: that all children of a generation are sisters and brothers and all womyn and myn are mothers equally. It is more natural and more right.

As Hillary Clinton uses the African proverb "it takes a village" so must we understand that the community-state is the proper ideal and shall replace the so called "nuclear-family."

By the way Father Tim, would you like to play a game of MegaGodofDeath at Che's? We just got the new 2008 version and I haven't had much time to practice. Neither Keith nor Che will play me anymore.

H. Robert

sophia said...

Don't be so judgmental Father Tim; you're not being eucharist to me and other homeschoolers, whom you apparently refuse to give the benefit of a doubt. Since my children aren't at "school" during the day, they can volunteer with me at the Benedictine Retreat Center. My children are learning all about gardening while tending the labyrinth. Now be church, and give us a break.

sophia said...

I feel a little bashful about asking, but I'm hoping Che' will offer to tutor my children in growing his organic tomatoes. And we all just LOVE green leaf tea! Maybe he'll be able to fit that into the lessons.

H Robert Williams said...

Well Sophia, I hate to cause any alarm but ever since Father Tim told Che he couldn't have the relics of his hero, Che has not been seen. He stormed out of the apartment in a fury. I expected him back later to feed Erin and our golfish Jaws but he hasn't come back. In fact Keith has had to change my water and switch games on the PS2 for me.

I think Che has been a little overworked at his The The Natural Food Store because of the drought. And he is disappointed sales have not been more brisk. He never did sell the tomato with the worm and his pumpkin and squash were looking rather sickly.

In any case I would not recomend him as a gardener. I know we all enjoy the green leaf tea (well, I used to. It's difficult being a brain in a jar sometimes) but in fact Keith grows the green leaf tea in his mom's basement under flourescent lights.

Anyway it looks like there is a phone call so I have to go.

H. Robert

sophia said...

Thanks for the information, H. Robert. I'm so disappointed for Che'. Maybe he'll feel better after the Equinox gathering. You ARE having one, aren't you? Make sure they don't get your jar too close to the fire.

I was hoping to show off our green leaf tea plants at the county fair next year. I guess we'll have to find another gardening instructor. Maybe Sister Joan will barter with us for lessons, since they didn't pay us for the labyrinth work.

Gotta go - there are some helicopters flying low over the house.

Anonymous said...

I'd be glad to help out... Sr. Joan isn't in the area, and she's a little busy on the talk-circuit. I'm ALL OVER organic. And my stuff even looks edible, unlike Che's tomatoe, which looked like a sickly prune. Let's set up a time ... IM me!

sophia said...

Sr. Fairah,

Wow! My inner self thanks for your offer - you are definitely eucharist to me. Let me know if there's a book I should buy.

the Mom said...

I see that you have managed to scratch up a few reasons to be against my right to personally oversee the formation of my children. Let me show it to my husband, and after he thinks about it, I'll let you know what he..I mean WE think.