OK - Never Again!!

Hey! Wow! What a terrible Sunday! OK, OK, the Greek Choir thing was a really, really bad idea. Not only did they absolutely refuse to sing any of our hymns, but whatever it was that they were singing sounded like a humpback whale that had swallowed an accordion. Man!

I apologize for walking out during the Faith Offering part of the mass, but I just couldn't take it any more. I hope someone finished the mass up for me - someone let me know how it turned out for the other two faith gatherings. And let me know if that Greek Choir is gone. It's sending shivers up my spine just thinking about that racket they made.

On another note, as you know, we sent Todd Turk and his Sugar Spirit Choir over to St. George's to sing at their faith gathering as an ecumenical gesture. And would you believe that they actually stoned them? Todd was in tears (and bruises). Man! What is this ecumenical fellowship coming to?

Ghost of Vatican 2 & Greek Choir Sunday

Hey everybody! Well I've got a couple of things I feel like 'blogging about c'est soir. First off, I was thinking of maybe making a gesture of ecumenical reconciliation toward all those Moto Propio people and for a couple of weeks, change the name of this 'blog to "Ghost of Vatican 2" - you know, like how they used to call it "Holy Ghost" instead of "Holy Spirit?" Anyway, that might make some of the Traddies see that we're not all about dissing them and whatnot.

On another note, I got to go to the Greekfest today over at St. George's church, and boy! Do those Greeks know how to make a good Gyro! Yum yum! We did have a little disappointment, though. Todd brought his Sugar Spirit Choir along to take part in the ecumenical outreach concert, and would you believe that those Greeks were rude enough to boo? He wasn't halfway through "Gather Us In For Dulcimers" when they started throwing stuff. There was a scuffle and one of Todd's dulcimers got broken.

But hats-off to Pastor Kokkonopopolis for breaking up the fight, even if he does have a funny beard. We got to talking and in an effort to build more intercultural penetration, I agreed to host the St. George's Traveling Choir at SOV2 for tomorrow's faith gatherings. I know, I know - you're thinking it's really risky having as important a part of the liturgy as music ministry being handed over to non-SOViers. But really, as long as they play a lot of Marty Haugen, what could go wrong?

Peace out! See you tomorrow in the worship space!

Finally!

Hey! Finally there's something good and decent on the "internet". I came across this 'blog for the Gorebertine Community today, and I must say, it looks really promising! Talk about church!

Gorebertine Community: PIII

Peace out!

Right on, Sister!

Hey everybody! Boy am I super psyched! Not since Nikki Giovanni has there been a poet of such talent! Joni Mitchell's new song "Shine" is not only the most brilliant poetry disguised as song lyrics, but is right on the money from a socio-political paridigm standpoint:

Shine on the Catholic Church
And the prisons that it owns
Shine on all the Churches
They all love less and less
Shine on a hopeful girl
In a dreamy dress

Joni is one of those womyn poetesses who can really get to the bottom of things without being bound by the old patriarchical rules of meter or rhyme. She also breaks free of the bonds of formalistic reason with her eclectic couplets. This is high art folks!

FORBIDDEN 'BLOG!

Hey. Wow. I guess you all saw Ché's "post" about somebody imitating him on another 'blog. And it gets worse. Now there's somebody imitating me too. And the whole 'blog is all about pretending to know that The Spirit of Vatican 2 Faith Community is some kind of joke or "parody."

I have meditated upon this issue, and have considered several courses of action:

1. Retain H. Robert as a consultant and bring legal action against this 'blog
2. Contact Fr. Kane and the Brothers of Love to take care of this problem in their own special way
3. Come up with some means of banning this 'blog that is even more powerful than a 'blog banning

For now, I'm going with (3). Which means that Secrets of the Spirit of Vatican 2 is now not only Banned, but is also FORBIDDEN. Let them try that on for size!

Not only are all faith communicants of SOV2 prohibited from going to this 'blog, but all peoples who see this 'blog on the "internet" are forbidden from going there too!

HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON!

Father Tim! There's someone pretending to be me on some other blog! Somehow he's got my name and everything. I'm freaking out! BAN HIM BAN HIM BAN HIM!

Global Poverty and Warming together!

Wow.. isn't this the most PROFOUND thing:
"“This is an emergency,” Mr Gore told the opening session of the Clinton Global Initiative. “I think that the key to fighting global poverty is to have the wealthy nations and the developing nations join together to reduce global warming … I think what we need is a global Marshall plan to make the creation of jobs around the reduction of carbon the central principle for how we develop this.”

Read the whole article here:
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/633d030a-6c5d-11dc-a0cf-0000779fd2ac.html

I say we RALLY!

A 'Blog Banning Mia Culper

Hey! Boy is my face red! Looks like when I gave Ngyuen the "link" to the 'blog to be banned, I messed it all up and forgot to put the "70" in. So here's a corrected rebanning of this horrible traddie 'blog:

With a Grain of Salt: PH,IT,C,RT,F

Che' Guevara Day

Hey everybody! I just wanted to let everybody know about the AWESOME celebrations we're planning for Che' Guevara day!

You'd have to be really really stupid if you don't know that Tuesday October 9 is the 40th anniversary of the martyrdom of the HERO OF AMERICA PEOPLES! Anyway, last year was pretty lame because only about four people showed up but I think that's because we didn't have the blog and we were also trying to not use paper any more because paper is made of trees and so we didn't have the bulletin either. So I got some money this year because I sold some of Keith's band's amps and stuff and also I got some money from someplace I don't want to mention. So it's going to be a lot cooler!

Anyway here's what's happening!

On Saturday we're going to have a two mile obstacle coarse race through the SOV2 grounds to help raise awareness for opressed peoples in Americas. We're going to be laying out obstacles from the summer solstice picnic like those punji sticks and some pits and lawn darts and we're going to have poll vaulting and this mud pit and stuff and some barbed wire. Bring a teeshirt and we'll decorate them with tie die and things.

Then we're going to have a picnic lunch catered by the falafel hut.

On Sunday night we're going to be showing a couple of movies made in Cuba about Che' and we're going to be exhibiting some patriotic art and stuff (I mean cuban art) and we're going to be eating these sandwiches with lots of cucumbers and stuff and fried in vegetable oil.

On Monday DON'T GO TO WORK! I mean if you do work or go to school because we're going to be making lots of banners. Bring your sissors and lots of glue and different felt and things. Also crayons and markers and sparkle stuff because we're also going to make berets.

Then on Tuesday DON'T GO TO WORK!

We're going to march around Market Square with the banners and posters and have lunch at the Soup Kitchen. Then we're going to have a special guest named Harry Bellafonte and Danny Glover. I mean you probably saw them at the Summer festival but they're going to be back! But you can't talk to them or touch them or anything and don't take pictures or get very close.

Then we're going to go over to my Dad's pool and have a candlelight vigil so bring your candles and a lighter and maybe a flashlight and some bug spray. And we're going to sing songs. Then I am going to talk to everybody about what Che' would want us to do today.

And Keith's banned is going to be playing some acoustical music (they don't know that) by John Lennon and also by Nirvanna and Matt Johnson of The The and also Purple Rain.

So plan on attending all those things because it will BE AWESOME!

Che'

Ahmadinejad Declines To Speak at SOV2

Hello. It has been some time since I have graced this blog page with my comments. It is because I have been out of this country visiting my relatives in remote mountainous regions of Pakistan. Now I am back and have learned much on my ecumenical journey which I promise I will share with you very soon.

But today I want to tell you that President Ahmadinejad of the great Nation of Iran, praise be to the mighty one! has woefully declined our invitation to give the homily next Sunday at The Spirit of Vatican 2 Faith Community. This is a great regret, as it would have been a magnificent Ramadan gesture of ecumenical inreach to teach the people here about the truths of the Prophet.

Instead of President Ahmadinejad we have arranged to hear the homily from Yusra Khadra Al-Rimawi, the mother of one of the glorious martyrs in the Palestinian Cause to be freed of the oppression of the Zionists. She has been flown from Gaza to Knoxville by the generous Ramadan gift of Doctor and Mizz Argot's private jet. As a reminder all women are to keep their heads covered while on the grounds of the faith community.

Peace be Upon You.

Bishops' Move is too Little too Late

Friends, I know that I may be overstepping my bounds a little. Dym Tim has allowed me to serve as a kind of myntor to our various ministries and I have sought to keep within this restricted role and be a peacemaker here at SOV2. I want to help you fulfill the mission to bring the spirit to the world and touch the hearts and minds of those poor deluded people caught in the trap of out-moded spirituality and narrow-mindedness. Yet, I feel impelled by the spirit to speak out today, and as we know: “if it feels right, don’t think twice!” in the words of James Taylor.

Sisters and Brothers, recently many have become upset over the appointment of Kathy Saile, a Lutheran, as director of public policy for the USCCB. We do not name names, but we know their type. Of course there will always be those who are upset by appointing a womyn to any position of authority. Others will be upset because she is of an alternative faith tradition. But there are also those who oppose her because they suspect she may in fact be “pro-choice.” If only it were true!

Yes Kathy Saile is in many ways a “progressive” on some of the issues that are important to us like health care, housing, and immigration, but she is a self-professed anti-abortionist. She belives she can "reach out to us" and "challenge" us with the idea that progressive issues are not incompatible withthe "pro-life" position. But let me assure you that she and the bishops have no right to lecture us on matters of social justice until they recognize that social justice begins with a womyn’s right to control her own reproductive health.

I applaud the Bishops in taking this small step of appointing a non-catholic christian to such an important role, but it is merely that: a small step. Really folks, did they look very far when they appointed a Lutheran? Wouldn't it have been more courageous to select a non-christian?

Yes it is too small a gesture in so many ways, and it is too late to heal the wounds that the bishops in the United States have caused through their reckless intransigence. True, among the bishops we have some who are trying to move the church in the right direction, but this is not enough to appease those who have been disenfranchised by years of scorn and indifference. In fact I am more insulted than I am placated.

Is the USCCB really interested in forging a path to reconciliation? If so here are a few steps they can take which would let us know that they are serious.

1. Renounce the “Pope” and publicly condemn his teachings.
2. Sell all church property and donate it to the United Way General Fund and the UN Population Fund.
3. Stop all “missionary” activity that has the appearance of proselytizing.
4. Issue formal written apologies to every women’s health clinic
5. Hold a new Catholic Church of the Americas conference and invite those theologians who have been condemned to teach us the proper way forward
6. Disband and set up a volunteer lay council made up of retired university professors to draft a new catholic social teachings guide to replace the rigid official “catechism.”

Until such time I think we have an obligation to continue our mission to reach out and challenge them.

H. Robert Williams

Let's get real

You will never believe that I ran into that SAME young womyn on the bus again this week. I really thought after our extended conversation last time, she wouldn't care to talk to me again, but she came right up and sat with me. She invited me (GET THIS) to go to a Latin Mass with her. I tried, as gently as possible, to explain that would NOT be happening. I don't want to go into detail, but the whole conversation was a virtual train-wreck. But it brought to mind something I've wanted to suggest for a long time:

WHY do we refer to those womyn-oppressing men in ivory towers with certain terms? If WE ARE CHURCH, then what they THINK they do really shouldn't matter to us. It follows, then, that what they are called by those womyn-oppressing men in Rome shouldn't matter to us either. I now recommend and suggest that we refer them as byshops. Gender is really a non-issue, so they should have the same designation as womyn. Ideas? Thoughts?

Homily, Sunday, September 23

Oh What a Sad Day!

Hey everybody. I don't know if you've heard the news, but Marcel Marceau has gone to the Great Spirit in the Sky. We will all be in deep, deep mourning at SOV2, and in honor of Marcel, all of the masses today at SOV2 will be mime-masses.

The Book of Job!

Hi, everyone! I apologize for my lengthy absence. There's been so much going on and I hope to be able to update you on all of it, but for now, I just have some wonderful, pressing information to impart!

I have returned to school so as to better help everyone share their individual faith journeys. Tonight I went to a Sacred Reading Study at my University, and we looked at the book of Job.

Have you ever read it? It's completely fascinating. If you go to Job, chapter 2, it talks about how, when disaster struck his family and his property, he "rent" his robes. Well, first of all, that's a misprint because clearly he had to rent his robes, or clothing, because he was suddenly poor. So the word in the Bible should say "rented". "Rent" is the present-tense verb.

Anyway, then he was sick, and so he had to go and rent new robes because he was so poor he just couldn't afford to actually buy them. And because he didn't have a house, he just lived in the ashes of his house.

Then his vertically-challenged friends, Elephant the Termite, Billy the Shoe-height, and Zoltar the Mini-mite came to visit him, having heard of his great tragedy. And they understood SOLIDARITY, let me tell you! They were so Church with Job that they went out and rented robes, too! And then they sat with him for 7 days!

That's because they knew that it was so important to give preferential treatment to their poor friend Job, who apparently didn't have a job anymore so he was destitute.

So, basically, the lesson for today was that if we see people suffering, it's meaningless to talk to them because words are cheap. It's better to suffer in the same way they are. So, for example, if your friend loses his house due to a fire from a lightening strike, then you should start an electrical fire of some sort at your home and just let it all burn down. That way you can be Church with your friend.

And if your friend has to rent clothing, you should do the same thing.

Or, say, if you're a doctor, the same thing applies. If someone comes to you with a broken bone, you have to first respect where that person is at. How can you understand that person's pain if you haven't experienced it or arent' experiencing it? It's better to be in solidarity with that person, so if you can't reproduce the cause of the injury, you should at least try to find something that would be a similar injury. And that way, even when you hobble around together on crutches, you'll all be church and you'll be able to help each other out.

But there was another aspect that was discussed; Job's friends were trying to be church, but didn't really get the concept. They rented robes, but they still had their own. So we actually see later on in the next chapters that they only rented the robes because their own fine ones would have gotten dirty. And they didn't have laundry facilities like we do now so the Old Testament version of dry cleaning was just renting robes. Which isn't really very church with Job, who had none to dry clean, anyway. And I don't think he could return the ones he was wearing. But read abotu what happened to him and you'll undestand. It doesn't say whether Elephant, Zoltan, or Billy gave him their rented robes when his own wore out or not. So we can actually have a discussion on that next week after the fall bonfire in the labyrinth.

Clearing the Air on 'Blog Bannings

Hey! I have to say, it takes a lot to get me mad. But boy am I mad. It seems like everytime I ban a 'blog, the people who own the 'blog, instead of be ashamed and repentent, are actually proud of it. Let me say this loud and clear:

BEING BANNED BY SOV2 IS A BAD THING!

It means that your 'blog is off-limits to the faith communicants of SOV2, and a bunch of other people too. Look at your "hit counters" and I bet you see that when your 'blog gets banned, then almost no-one goes to your site. A while back I banned The Curt Jester and a friend of mine told me that now almost nobody every goes to his 'blog.

So now that we're all clear on that stuff, here are some more banned 'blogs:

Scorpion Stalking Duck: PH,F,T,C+,O, H+
Ignorant Redneck Rants: PH,R+,NC,NLU
Per Te, Sancta Maria: PH,F,EM,T,RT,UM,H+
Un-Muted Rumblings: PH,O,T,H
With a Grain of Salt: PH,IT,C,RT,F
Et Tu?: PH,EM,F,T,C,NC,CF,AM
The Spirit's Sword: PH,F,T,AM,BS,IT,H

That's all for now. Have a super Friday night!

New Book Study

Hey, it's Che'

There's a new book study we're going to start tomorrow for Eco-Church. It's going to be a great book and you'll never guess who the author is because she is from Knoxville and grew up in Oak Ridge. But you'll want to go buy it tonight.

You know most of the time I don't read too much because Al Gore doesn't write a lot of books and stuff and a lot of the stuff they put in books they put in movies and things anyway. So what's the point? But I do like poetry and I really like e. e. cummings because he's got two e's in a row and because he does all this neat stuff with spelling, puncuation, and grammer. Those are really important to me because I think how you communicate to people shows you what kind of person you are. Like a lot of people start talking about one thing and then all of a sudden there talking about something else.

Keith is like that and it really bugs me. First of all it was his STUPID IDEA to not flush toilets. He said that it causes global warming because all the water goes away and water is what keeps the earth cool. Which makes sense because where is it hottest? In a desert where there isn't any water. But the other thing is if I don't feed Erin or change H. Robert's water do you think Keith does it? The only time was when I went up to Conneticut to see my mom.

There's something I'm forgetting to talk about. Oh yah, this is really cool! I went to this site called simpsonizeme.com and got a photo of me turned into this picture.

I think it's pretty cool but then guess what! IT'S A BURGER KING ADVERTISING THING! Yah! I mean do you know how many chickens, cows, fish and potatoes that Burger King kill in a year? But I made the picture anyway because it's pretty funny.

Oh Yah! The Political guide things. I was working on one for Barak Obama who is a democrat. I think he's a senator or a congressman or something. You know a lot of people don't know this but there's actually two houses in the house of representatives. The first is the senate and the other is the congress. And there not the same people.

No wait. That wasn't it. Man this bugs me because it was something important. Anyway I'll see everybody tomorrow. Make sure you buy the book because we're going to get started right away.

Che'

SCORE!

Check out the cover of the latest issue of Thinking Catholic. Notice the second article? Yeah! Guess who's on the list! That's right! SOV2 came in at #1 on the list of the ten best proggie parishes (although we're really a faith community and not a parish). Also, guess who's article got published in T.C.? Our very own H. Robert Williams!

If you don't have a subscription to Thinking Catholic, you really ought to get one. I'll get Ngyuen to post the "link" to their "website". You should check out their community forum "TC Bistro". It's like real-life internet church!

Be a Good Earth-Tenant and Support SOV2

HEY! Awesome news! A lot of people don't know but global warming is a real serious problem the earth is facing right now because of people who drive SUVs and because people flush their toilets WAY too often. Keith and I have pledged to flush the toilet no more that once a day. We just started this afternoon so we'll tell you how it works out.

Anyway, for those people who know there often like "Hey! I planted an SOV2 tree and I don't drive a car anymore and I don't heat my house or air condition and I don't flush my toilet and I prtoest Nuclear Power and wars and stuff... but I don't feel like I am making enough of a difference."

Well here's the great news! Keith and I invented this thing which is going to help you be a global COOLER! Its this hat that you put on your head. I don't know if you know this or not but the sun heats the earth. That's called radiant heat. Stuff that's real dark absorbs that heat and stuff that's light doesn't absorb so much heat. That's why when all the glaciars melt global warming will go all out of control because ice is white.

The way the hat works is its all covered by mirrors. So all the sunlight is reflected back into space and doesn't heat up the earth anymore. Plus they look really cool.

I know that some other people have had this same idea but since I told you about it you need to buy it from me.

Homily, Sunday, September 16

Hey! Well, have I got news for you! We're done! At long last, the liturgical commission of Spirit of Vatican II Faith Community has completed its Resolution on Matters Concerning Proper Liturgical Forms. Instead of rattling on and on in a boring old homily today, I'm just going to read you the document. You'll be excited to know that copies have already been sent to the Diocesan Office as well as the Vatican. Anyway, here goes. Oh... wait a second. Maryann, can you bring me a glass of water? Thanks. No... I'll wait...

...thanks!...

Whew! That was refreshing. Anyway, here goes:

RESOLUTION ON MATTERS CONCERNING PROPER LITURGICAL FORMS
Spirit of Vatican II Faith Community Liturgical Commission
On the Anniversary of the Beginning of Ghandi's Fast in Protest of the Caste System, 2007 CE

WHEREAS the peoples of the world are clamoring to have their voices heard, crying ever louder for those in positions of power to bend their ears to hear the cries of the disenfranchised

INASMUCHAS the ROMAN CHURCH has heretofore cast a deaf ear upon the cries of the poor, despite the urgent need to exercise a preferential option on their behalf

COGNIZENT of the fact that amongst the poor are not merely the poor in food, the poor in environmentally sound ecosystems, and the poor in spirit, but also the poor in liturgical innovation

WE THE PEOPLES of the Spirit of Vatican II Faith Community, in SOLIDARITY with the indiginous peoples of REDFERN AUSTRALIA, and in the name of all catholics and fellow faith-probers everwhere do hereby

DECLARE that the norms of the ROMAN MASS as laid out in the GENERAL INSTRUCTION OF THE ROMAN MISSAL and as detailed in countless laborious tracts of duplicitous emanations are so many fetters upon the o'er-restrained limbs of the PEOPLE OF THE BODY OF THE CHURCH

WE RESOLVE to cast aside such shackles, particularly as they are manifested in the enumerated areas enumerated hereafter:

I. LITURGICAL CREATIVITY: We reserve the right, as members of THE BODY OF THE CHURCH to determine the free course of action for our Faith Communities, Parishes, Worship Teams, and Love Circles. We will not be bound by a hidebound set of "rubrics" or "dogma" or "doctrine," but will instead follow the example of the CHURCH FATHERS and do it our way.

II. LITURGICAL MUSIC: Among those areas most greviously impaired by the STRICTURES OF THE HEIRARCHY is the freedom of the Peoples to make a Joyful Noise. Henceforth, we shall employ instruments that speak of the joy in man's spirit, such as the tamborine and the juice-harp. We execrate the Organ and other such tools of capitalist oppression.

III. LITURGICAL DANCE: The body is a precious instrument of art and beauty. The expression of beauty should not be limited by traditional restrictions that held modesty to be a virtue, and rigid Prussian Formalism to be the highest expression of pious art. We recognize that the flowing lines of limbs flung with abandon can be equally valid liturgical expressions of prayer and beseeching.

IV. LITURGICAL COSTUMING: The Stole, the Alb, the Ambo, and the Vestment are all ancient costumes copied from the Romans. We don't see why we have to wear just these things and cannot wear costumes that speak to our particulary cultural norms in ways that are new and creative. We reserve the right to have a Star Trek Mass, a Clown Mass, or a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Mass.

KNOWING the reaction of the bourgiois sectarians within the HEIRARCHY, we the peoples of the Spirit of Vatican II Faith Community do hereby pledge our sacred honor, our trust, and our very lives in the way of the hurtling death machines of the Inquisitors, and we dare you to dissaude us from seeking our valid faith choices and expressing them in new and innovative ways.

Signed,

The faith communicants of the Spirit of Vatican II.

After that we listed all of your names and addresses. Aren't you proud of our Liturgical Commission? Let's have a big round of applause for the Liturgical Commission Team. All of you LCT people, please stand up. Great! Thanks!

A Plethora of 'Blog Banning

Hey SOVier's! Well, in the interest of promoting Free speech and Freethinking, I have to ban the following radtrad 'blogs. Sorry the list is so long, but this really reflects the depth of the insidious conservative reaction against the glorious revolution of Vatican II:

The Northern Cross: PH,F,T,O
Cygnus' Sphere: PH,R,C,T,O,F
Disciple of the Dumb Ox: PH,F,C,EM+,T
Journey Toward the Lord: PH,R,EM,O
Duc in Altum!: PH,O+,IT,EM,F,NC
Roman Catholic Apologetics: PH,F,T,O,POD,C+
Larsterkhanate: PH,F+,T+,EM,O
Clam Rampant: PH,AM,C,CF,H,IT,NLU,O,RT,POD

Peace out!

sad commentary on some youth today

This last week, as I was riding the bus, a young womyn sitting near me noticed my matching cross necklace, earrings and charm-bracelet. She asked what church I attend. When I told her about SOV2, her eyebrows raised, and she told me it isn't a real church because the bishop doesn't recognize it. I could NOT believe my ears! I told her I really wasn't worried what some Pharisee in an office somewhere thinks ... God recognizes SOV2, no matter what any given human being thinks. This lead into a long conversation (I even missed my stop, and had to ride the entire loop to get to where I was going) about many things. I was so saddened by this young person... she had absolute BLINDERS on! She spoke so many half-truths, and misunderstood so many real truths. She didn't agree that God is greater than men in church office, that womyn have a right to ministerial positions in the church, that they have a right to control over their bodies, that we have an obligation to the world to protect the environment, that Gaia is feminine … oh, the list could go on and on! I asked her where she was raised, and how she came to believe these things, and she told me that her parents NEVER taught her what to think, so she went looking for answers on her own. She found them on websites and that demonic EWTN. She obviously had no idea that I’m a religious sister because she even talked about how those awful old habits are wonderful, and said that she’s wanting to find a community which wears the habit. I thought of Dym Tim’s recent post, and realized how right he is … we MUST start raising our children right! We HAVE to teach them what to think, so the rad-trads don’t get into their brain and steal their ability to think! We need to start a class here are SOV2 on raising children the RIGHT way. Dym Tim, let me know how I can help…

Friends Let us Embrace Each Other

Dear friends,

You will be happy to know I have dropped my wrongful life suit against SOV2. I have much to thank Che for in this regards as it was his gentle reminding that the authentic spirit guides us ever towards reconciliation with each other. And of course Dr. Argot's generous gift did play a part in my decision. LOL!

However, I would like, if I may be permitted, to point out a flaw in your attitude towards the misguided, rigid traditionalists. Let me say one thing: you are missing a valuable opportunity to reach them.

Language, may I remind you, is an important tool. We must change minds and hearts not always by forceful persuasion but also by gentle coaching. If you reject a priori the language and forms of the traditionalists how will you find ways of communicating with them? Is it not much more sensible to adapt their language to our own purposes? For example, let us take the word "tradition." Yes, I understand you when the word makes your skin crawl but let us consider how we might use it to our benefit. Let us say "Catholics have a traditional love for the mission of Social Justice." Or consider this: "Inclusivity to all people regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation, is part of the welcoming tradition all catholics have esteemed."

Let us look at how by proper use, we can change the use of words to reflect modern experiences of truth. Take this example I often used in classes: "the word 'catholic' comes from the greek word meaning universal: therefore to be catholic means to embrace many traditions." I would then show how various pagan traditions were adopted into and added into the judaic tradition to form the diverse early christian church life.


Yes, (may I speak so boldly?) we may even invoke various historical personages. For example, we may quote Franics of Assissi when he said "preach the gospel always, and when necessary use words." This quote alone I have found is sufficient to quiet many a rigid traditionalist take on the role of the church in the world.

Yes there are some on the other side who see this and fear this as the ultimate means to undermine their hopes for a return to male clerical hegemony. They would persuade you that certain words and actions make up their "language" and your acceptance of these terms amounts to an acceptance of their dogmatic outlook. I assure you it is not so. You must not think like them. You must not listen to them. But you must embrace their language and make it your own. "How shall this be done?" You might ask. "How can I pilfer their language without the danger of being corrupted by their thoughts?" Do not worry. I and those like me shall guide you. And once we have conquered their language you will have taken their voice from them. Every word they speak will be a word for us and against them. Then our victory, our own City of God built around our own Temple of the Human Spirit, will draw near!

So let us go forge our community-state! Or let us say our family-state. For what, after all, is a family but a bond of love and obligation which holds its members together and shelters them in love? These that you call your children are not your children but belong to all. Do not trouble yourselves with what is right and good. Let the family-state decide who is best to look after them in their inocence and vulnerability. Yield to the family-state these children, give them to everyone so that we all may raise them with love and openness and let them be free to be whatever it is they wish themselves to be!

H. Robert

Banned Blog Banner

Hey! That Davidson guy from Sci Fi Catholic has pointed out that he doesn't have the banned 'blog banner, which we ask all banned 'blogs to display so that unsuspecting SOV2 faith communicants don't accidentally get lured into their world of cathlofascism. So here's the banner again:

Also, since we're at it, I have to formally ban his 'blog:

Sci Fi Catholic: PH,F,IT,R,O

Sorry about that Ché - I know it's one of your favorites because of Julia Roberts, but I'm worried that you might get a sickness in your church from spending too much time there.

Disturbing Trends in Birthings

Hey everybody!

While keeping an eye on the RadTrad NeoCathlofascists, I stopped in at the banned website of Paul: Regular Thoughts, and what do you know, he's got some statistics about how "conservative" christians are birthing more kids than liberal christians!!!

Well duh! Basically the conservative christians don't care about how their birthings are affecting their nuclear unit's carbon impact on the earth, and the liberals and secularists are being responsible progenerators and only birthing an amount adequate to ensure that the demographic of liberals remains strong enough to provide a pro-environment and pro-choice voting bloc. Anyone can see that!

What's really weird about this is that in the City of The Whore of Babylon, where you would think that the naughtiest of RadTrad types live, the birthing rate is super-low, which goes to show that the Europeans are ahead of us (as usual) in reducing their carbon footprint.

Of course, there's some really scary news as well, which doesn't bode well for us proggies. Apparently some liberals are being irresponsible and overexercising their choice, and this selfishness could end up costing us the demographic we need to Keep Hope Alive.

And it ain't just republicans who are outbirthing us, even the mormons are at it!

So how about this for an idea: Birthing offsets! Here's how it works: A wealthy secularist or progressive christian life-couple will make a valid life choice not to allow the parasitic fetus to develop to the point where it might become a child. But in order to prevent them from facing the Unforgivable Sin of allowing Republicans to win elections, they will then pay a mormon family to raise one of their existing kids as a liberal. The over-producing mormon family thus gets money to feed their starving kids, the progressive life-couple get to know that they are raising a liberal child, even without having to compromise their lifestyles, and the Democratic party gets a new votor in 18 years!

Clearly, I've been inspired by the Spirit!

Dayton: The New Jerusalem

Hey! I've been doing a little research into various demographic trends, tracking the latest paradigms and whatnot. And something has emerged that has me very excited!

First of all, I'd like to point out the significance of the name "Dayton." Dayton is the name of a city in Tennessee where the Scopes Monkey Trial was held. It was in Dayton, TN that the thinking peoples finally put a stop to the oppressive church/state relationship in which innocent kids were forced to learn that the sun went around the earth, instead of the other way around. It was the final nail in the coffin of "olde tyme religion", and it opened the windows and let in the fresh air of the enlightenment.

So it's no surprise that a city named in honor of Dayton, TN should be the New Jerusalem, and, of course, I'm speaking of Dayton Ohio. Dayton has been home to some heroes of Catholicism::

Martin Sheen

Phil Donohue

Robe Lowe

Dan Montgomery

Now, on the down side, the University of Dayton has produced a number of neanderthals:

Chuck Noll

Dennis Green

Jon Gruden

Still, I'm hopeful that with such a high concentration of legendary peace activists and progressive catholics, Dayton Ohio may very well be that "mecca" that we're all looking for. Stay posted!

How to Raise Your Children as Progressive Catholics

Hey Everybody!

Well, the last few weeks on this 'blog have gotten some responses that made me think alot about the coming generations in our faith communities. First off, it seems like everytime I turn around, there's some Homeschoolers. Second, I must admit that when I look out into the worship space and see the faith communicants, I have noticed that there aren't a lot of young peoples there. Other than Keith, Todd, Britnee, and Ché, almost everyone else (except Mizz Argot) is over 50. And then I hear stories about how all the youths are being seduced by Traddie Latin Masses and going to World Youth Day and stuff like that.

For a little while, I got depressed, but then I thought that it is really our fault, as ministers of the faith community, that we haven't been outreaching enough. And our faith communicants have never really gotten instruction on how to raise their kids so that they turn out progressive, and not get drawn away to some medieval cesspool like Steubenville. And I realized that (thank the communal-Spirit!) we still have places like Boston College, Georgetown, and University of Dayton to turn the traddie kids back into progressive Catholics and freethinkers.

But we've got to do our parts too. So I've put together a quick guide that you parents in SOV2 can use to make sure your kids turn out all right:

1. Stay away from the Rosary!: This is the tool of oppression, and is very dangerous. Kids who are taught to pray the rosary stand at a very high risk of become robotic followers of the Papal Overlord
2. Read Good Catholic Magazines: Magazines like America and St Anthony Messanger and National Catholic Reporter should be left around the house. For the Spirit's sake, don't make your kids read them, but trust that they will be guided to pick one up and start some healthy questioning
3. Let them decide whether to go to Mass: From an early age, let it be their choice whether to go to Mass or not. If you go to a good progressive faith community like SOV2, then they will probably want to come and be eucharist, but if they don't - it's cool You should stay home with them and show them that the Spirit is everywhere
4. Be a Double-Tither: Nothing shows a kid what you value more than where you send your money, so make sure they know how much money you're sending to your faith community
5. Stay Away from Parochial Schools: What's worse than Homeschooling? Nothing! But almost as bad is sending your kids to one of those schools run by the nuns that still wear those black and white dresses. If you send your kid to one of those schools, you can kiss them goodbye.
6. Don't openly question your Progressive Priest: We face enough difficulty as it is, battling Rome, and things like that. You should make sure that your kids are raised to discriminate between the Progs and Trads, and to obey the Progs reflexively so that they don't have to worry about every little issue. Basically, we're going to tell them to do whatever their conscience says is OK, so you don't have to worry. But if you contradict us, you are putting your kids in danger of not being church
7. Vote Democrat: And make sure you tell your kids who you voted for so that they don't end up as a Rad Trad Republican!
8. Protest, Protest, Protest! There are an amazing array of things to protest - you might find some even in your own progressive faith community. You should always be asking things like "is my faith community progressive enough." If your kids see you protest against even trivial things, they will realize that nothing should be taken for granted, and that your conscience demands that you stand up and be heard when you think something isn't right.
9. Pamper your kids, but don't make them the center of your attention: Nothing warps a kid's personality and social outlook like thinking that he/she is the most important thing in your life. Show your kids that you will buy them anything they want, but make sure that they know that protesting and activism are more important to you than they are. That way they'll know how to raise their kids in turn.
10. Read to your kids! Good books like The Winnipeg Manifesto and anything by Hans Kung or Charles Curran would be great. Reading Dym Curran to your kids will also help them embrace healthy sexuality.
11. Help your kids embrace Ecumenism and Diversity: Instead of those old holidays like Christmas and Easter, celebrate things like "Reformation Sunday" and "Ramadan," so that your kids see that embracing all faiths is a valid moral value judgement.

These are just a few ways you can make a difference in your kids' lives, and help ensure that they stay on one of the thousands of good paths, and off of that one bad path that leads to eurocentric traditionalism. I hope this helps you out, and I look forward to seeing your kids at SOV2 - if they want to be there.

Look to the East!

Hey everybody! Well, just like you, I am really excited about the events in Russia, where the heroic President Vladmir Putin has dissolved the government. We're still waiting to see how this plays out, but it's great to see real democracy in action! It has been a long, cold 14 years since the Great Experiment fell apart in Russia. Since then, that country has fallen prey to the worst aspects of Capitalism - namely, that the mob runs everything, and people are no longer free to live and worship the way that they want to. It is our sincere hope, here at SOV2, that the Spirit will guide the peaceloving president Putin to turn away from the excesses of rampant consumerism and return to that people-loving system in which all men are really equal, and everyone loves his neighbor. Plus, the world needs a really powerful country that can stand up to the tyrrany of Bush and the Neocons. To commemorate the event, Ché is going to set up a projector in the worship space, and we're going to look at pictures from the last WTO Protest (synchronized to the music of the Indigo Girls). Please join us in the liturgical interior at 7:00pm for this inspiring presentation.

Oh - and in totally unrelated news, our EcoChurch club will be having their annual Watermelon Festival this Saturday.

9/11

No parody today.


Pray.

REFORM - Who's Catholic?

Hey! Well, in addition to our exciting FLEECE campaign, I'm really psyched to be able to announce that our faith community, under the careful carebringing of Maryann McGronk, has been signed up to be part of the exciting international movement "Who's Catholic?" Over the next few weeks, communicants will have the opportunity to sign up to be part of a cell studying their faith by working through Fr. McBrien's Catholicism which is basically like the Bible for Catholics. Make sure you sign up for a Who's Catholic Cell. Dr. Al-Fakkir will be keeping a list of those peoples who sign up, and anyone who hasn't committed to the program will not be allowed to be eucharist with us.

How H. Robert Williams is Kept Alive

Hey this is really for my friend Agent Smith and also Eegah(inc?) and Scifi Catholic.

I know there not church and stuff but anyway I still think there web-sites are pretty cool. Especially when they talk about Anime and stuff like that. And Eegahinc after I got back from Connecticut I was watching this movie on youtube called "Warrior of the Lost World." Its awesome and stuff because its got this cool motorcycle that talks and its older than knight rider I think except its set in the future so its not. But Eegah is doing this going to hell week and so you really should go over there even though he is taking some time off and read all the cool stuff he has to say. But its kind of maybe too radtrad.

D. G. D. Davidson who is the Scificatholic can't be a radtrad because he looks like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix which was an AWESOME movie. We used to watch it a lot but H. Roberts got sick of it and somehow made the DVD player melt it Its kind of weird because he can somehow program stuff. Like he made the microwave beep really loud. I met Keanu Reeves when I was in Hollywood one time. He is an AWESOME actor and he even said "Excellent" and "Bogus." That's cause I was hanging out with Sean Penn. I mean Sean Penn is also AWESOME... but not as awesome as Julia Roberts because she is really really cool.

Well Agent Smith wanted to know how the stuff that keeps H. Robert alive works. So here goes (because I am not a scientist type person).

There's this wind mill thing on the roof of our apartment and a solar panel too and this cord which attaches to them. My dad gave me the money for my birthday and Keith knows some people who need a lot of electricity to run a lot of lights under there houses so they know how to do this kind of thing and they put it up for me. Then the two cords go into this box and another cord comes out and is attached to another box. This one makes a humming sound all the time especially at night. I think it makes hydrogen from corn or something but I might be wrong because I don't know who puts all the corn in the box but its not me. This box is in the room with H. Robert. We drilled a hole through the wall.

Anyway a bunch of cords come out of this box and one of them goes to the computer thing and another goes to the PS2 and another goes to the TV and another goes to Keith's flourescent lights in the closet in his room where all the green leaf tea is growing all the time. Oh yah. and another is hooked up to the toaster and the microwave and refridgerator.

Oh yah! I forgot to mention there was this other cord attached to the first box which goes into those things which look like telephone lines. I think Keith said we're actually supplying power to the phone companies or something so we're reducing green house gasses. I don't know why that's there. What's really cool is now we don't use electricity at all which shows you that green power works! And I never see the wind mill going at all!

Anyway H. Robert kind of floats in the jar most of the time. When he get's really excited he kind of goes to the top and if he's sad or asleep he kind of floats to the bottom.

Another cord comes from the second box that hums and goes to this box thing that the jar sits on and bubbles come out. I don't think the bubbles do anything but I asked Tom Cruise if he could make it bubble and he said sure. And there's all these sensors and stuff that read the magnetic field which I think Krystal said was the aura and that's how you know what H. Robert's is thinking if he wants you to know because sometimes he doesn't.

Anyway I have all this salt and sugar and I mix it with two cups of luke warm water and I pour that into the jar two times a day and I take out the same amount of old water. But I'm not supposed to let it drop below this red line because that would be bad. And I have to wear gloves because of the germs.

This halloween (sorry Father Tim I meant Samhain fest) I'm going to take H. Robert to the church and set him up there for a little bit. And then I'm going to see if I can put a lightbulb in there with him. That way when we turn off the lights he'll kind of glow.

Che'

Homily, Sunday, September 9

Hey! Were you listening? Did you hear it? Take a minute and look around you at your neighbors. Did they hear it? Did you?

I did! What did I hear? I heard the single most important reading in the entire Bible. That's right - it's THE BIG READING! It's the GOLDEN RULE, only this rule is about Gold, it's like the ANTI-GOLDEN RULE. That's right. Today's reading strips Christianity to its core - and that core is only about one thing, and that's Social Justice. Just like Jesus said, you've got to give away everything that you have, and you've got to leave your family and friends. Otherwise, you're just building a castle made of sand. This is the only foundation that your tower can stand on - the giving of all things away.

Now, I'm hip to the difference between me and you. Sure, it's easy for me to say "give everything away," because I already did - I gave everything up and now I don't have anything of my own. Sure I live in a nice big rectory, and drive a nice new Ford Expedition, and have a lot of nice clothes and eat well. But those aren't MINE - so it's easy for me to say "Hey! Give Everything Up!". And it was easy for me to say goodbye to my family (wait for laughter). That's right - you all know how me and my family get along. Especially my mother. Boy, the day that I could say "I'm not talking to you anymore because I'm a disciple" was a super day for me. But anyway it makes it really easy for me to tell you to give everything up. But I know it's hard for you. You cling to your monies, cling to your homes and vacation properties and ski-boats and season tickets to the UT Vols. Stop a second and look at yourself. Have you built any more than a foundation? Will you be able to finish your tower? Or are people going to laugh at you and say "Hey! That guy couldn't finish his tower."

Well, today is the day that I'm going to reach out and help you to give eveything away. As you know, we've got a big Capital Campaign coming. And today I'm going to announce the name of that campaign, but not tell you a lot more about it. You'll be hearing more about it in the coming weeks as we break up into small "cells" so that we can better re-experience the experience of the Early Church Mothers. Anyway, the Capital Campaign is called "Fellowship Loving Everyone Even Capitalist Enemies", or F.L.E.E.C.E. Ché and Britnee came up with the name, and I think it's super. It kind of reminds me of the Golden Fleece that Jason was always trying to get to in those old movies - so it's kind of also like the Holy Grail that was in the Indiana Jones movies too.

But you know what? We won't have FLEECE without you. So this week, I'd like you to go home and look at your checkbook, and your savings accounts, and your money markets and college funds and IRA's and stocks and bonds and safety deposit boxes. And then I want you to make a big pile of all of it and say "will I be a tither?" Or even better, say "will I be a double-tither?" or "a triple tither?" Because it's not just about "charity" or "stewardship"... it's really about "carebringing." Let's really fill this liturgical interior with carebringing that becomes part of the great song - let's get this worship space resounding with a joyful noise of giving. Then, and only then, will you all be FLEECE'd.

Its me Che'

Hey Father Tim. It's me Che'.

I wanted to let you know I am okay. Yah that was me in the picture. I went up there to hang out with my mom and the Fairfield Greens. We're trying to get them to close down a couple Nuclear Reactors up there so they went nude bathing in the bay It was really gross because a lot of them are really fat. Oh yah! and the TV people didn't even show up which was good because I was embarassed. But this one girl Helga was actually really cute but I don't think she likes men.

Here' a picture with my mom in it. She's the one that looks like me

I don't think I'll do that again. My mom is just mad all the time and yelling at the TV and we went to like six protests in three days. Also she hasn't cleaned up her place. She has this place on the beach but it's all full of sea kayaks and other stuff and I had to sleep on this couch that she picked up at a flea market. Also a lot of her friends smell really bad. Kind of like the couch. And also she has too many cats.

But I like her a lot better than Brenda who is my step-mom. Because Brenda is like all cute and stuff but she wares too much make-up all the time. It's like mom is the anti-Brenda and Brenda is the anti-mom. But my mom uses all the alimony from my dad to pay for all the protests which is cool. She won;t give me any to buy the relic of Che' I wanted and said that the perosn selling it was a capitalist lackie and she didn't want any of her money going to someone like that. ANd I said yah that's true but I still want it and she still said no.

But everybody is real smart up here. There aren't all these stupid people saying that there's no global warming because everybody up here knows there is. I heard a great poem and I think it's almost as good as Nikki's stuff:
http://www.mothballmillstone.org/news2007b.html#williameon
I mean, it's awsome this line:"We need a decentralized system that stops wasting energy transporting goods all over the world." Cause I was thinking how's he gonna make that rhyme? But he did with "Stop the Corpirates and help free the world." And even though its the same word and stuff, I still think it's pretty cool. I mean Corpirates that's like corporate pirates all smushed together. They are so smart.

Che'

Is this Che?

Hey! Some readers of the 'blog snapped this photo. I can't really tell if this is Ché or not, but if it is him, then apparently he's at a peace protest in Connecticut. Keep an eye out all you Connecticut residents!

More Latin Translation

Hey! Well, I have been failing to post the continued results of Ngyuen's Latin Translation program, but here's an installment. I kind of jumped ahead last time by going to article 30 of the Post-Concilliar Documents of Vatican II. This time, I'll take it right from the top:

1. SACROSANCTUM CONCILIUM, cum sibi proponat vitam christianam inter fideles in dies augere; eas institutiones quae mutationibus obnoxiae sunt, ad nostrae aetatis necessitates melius accommodare; quidquid ad unionem omnium in Christum credentium conferre potest, fovere; et quidquid ad omnes in sinum Ecclesiae vocandos conducit, roborare; suum esse arbitratur peculiari ratione etiam instaurandam atque fovendam Liturgiam curare.

1. Holy Holy Council, which is a proponent of vitamins for christians with faith in dying augeries, each institution which mutates is obnoxious, to our eating of necessary melons we accomodate you. What what to union of all in Christ's street-cred we confer power, forever, and who who to all in the Church's sinuses are vocally conducive, robbers, soon Heffe arbitrates a ration of his pecs and eats restaurant water forever curing the Liturgy.

Quandary!

Hey! Well the Cathlofascists over at Rise of the TOB have really given me cause to think. They pose a dilemma which I (frankly) was not prepared for and had not noticed before:

The name of the organization Pax Christi is in Latin!!!!

This is tough. I mean, my first thought is to call Martin Sheen and demand that they change their name back to "Plowshares For Peace" which is what their name used to be back when I ran with them. Someone there got all uptight because the Neocaths were calling them "Plowsh*ts", and so they changed their name. And I didn't even make the connection that the new name was in LATIN!

If Martin isn't able to help me out on this one, we may have to sever ties with them and stop taking up our monthly collection. It's a good think Ché isn't around to hear me talking this way. Plowshares is one of his favorite organizations.

WHERE IS CHE?

Hey! Well, for those of you following the "comboxes" on this 'blog, you know by now that our Social Justice Minister, Ché Lovell, has disappeared after I inadvertantly led him to believe that the faith community would not support his purchase of a lock of Ché Gueverra's hair. This is a disaster, especially with the Capital Campaign coming up. We are all counting on Ché for his outreach to the disaffected. Since most of the money from the Capital Campaign was going to go to the Ché & Hugo Center for International Studies, to be located on our beautiful campus, it is really important that Ché be here to help with the planning.

Ché, if you're reading this, please come back!

To all you SOViers out there, if you happen to spot Ché, please send us a picture or a link. Together, in communion, we can help find him and bring him back.

Homeschooling Ain't Church

Hey! Well, in one of the "combox" exchanges below, me & The Mom had a little go-round about my decision to ban 'blogs where there was a palpable and unrepentant penumbra of homeschooling. And in order to be eucharist to The Mom, I thought I'd better explain a little bit about why Homeschooling is so bad. So here is my list of reasons that Homeschooling is bad:

1. Homeschooling Rejects Communion: How can kids be in communion with one another when they're at home? Answer: They can't!
2. Homeschoolers are Neocaths, RadTrads, and Cathlofascists: Have you ever talked to one of those Homeschooling parents? talk about Phariseeism - man!
3. Homeschooling is a Negative Value Judgement Against Public Education: Face it - the French Revolution and the Public Education System here in America are the greatest events that the world has ever seen, at least since Plato was forced to drink the poison by the fascists in Greece. When you Homeschool, you are basically saying "I can teach my kids better than a licensed teacher." Come on, people!
4. Homeschooled kids are Overpriviledged: They are the winners of life's lottery already, since all Homeschooling Parents are rich. Why should Homeschooled kids get all that attention?
5. Homeschooling oppresses Womyn: Who do you think is staying home and doing the homeschooling? The man? No way! Over 99.6% of all homeschooling parents are womyn. This is just another way to keep them locked up in the house and not pursuing happiness through a career.
6. Homeschooled kids are 67% more likely to become exploitive white males: Look it up. Statistics don't lie.
7. Public Education was Good Enough for Me!: Case closed. I am a product of Public Education, and when you Homeschool, you're not only making a Value Judgement about the Public Education System, you're making a Value Judgement about everyone educated in the Public Education System

Think about it!

Ignore Father Tim and Send me MONEY!

HEY! I'm really mad because Father Tim wasn't church to me. I mean usually he's like "Yah! Che' go ahead!" and "As long as you don't actually burn down the place!" and "Hey, just clean up after yourself." But all I want is all these Che' Guevarra relics and stuff and he's like "Your being Dark Ages!"

But I WANT THE RELIC OF CHE' AND ITS NOT FAIR IF SOMEONE ELSE GETS IT! I mean probably some stupid replublican is going to get it or something because there rich and can just throw there money around all over the place and stuff. And I am the biggest Che' Guevarra fan in the entire world and just because I chose not to stay at U.T. and instead wanted to write poetry and stuff and think that football is pretty stupid and would rather hang out with cool people like Tom Cruise and Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon doesn't mean that I shouldn't get what I want. I mean who is doing more for the Earth than me? I mean H. Robert is entirely running on green power.

I HAVE A RIGHT TO IT! YOU PEOPLE ARE DISENFRACHISING ME!

Che'

Another Mia Culper

Hey! I apologize for the latin in the title above, but I am really penitent. The Mom pointed out that I haven't updated the Banned 'Blog list in a while, and you know what! She's right. I need to get on that. My excused is that Ngyuen has had a bad cold and has been in a bad mood, and not wanting to upset him, I avoided asking him to make 'blog changes.

As long as we're on the topic of banned 'blogs, I have to announce that I've had to make a new classification for the 'blog rating code:

H: Homeschooling.

This came up because of the 'blog of one of The Mom's friends, who I hereby ban:

Peace & Quiet: PH,C+,T,O,H

Peace out!

URGENT! NEED HELP RAISING MONEY

HEY! THIS IS IMPORTANT!

A lock of Che' Guevarra is going on sail and we need to buy it RIGHT NOW! Please send me as much money as you have right away!

Keith sent me this and its NOT A JOKE!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,295602,00.html

I didn't ask Father Tim but I think this is called a relic or something and your supposed to collect these things. If I get it I am going to put it next to my lock of Julia Robert's hair and a tee-shirt that Tim Robbins left when he stayed the night with Krystal after our Solstice party and with water from L. Rob Hubbard's brain jar which I took as a souvenir too.

Che'

Red Flag Mass Homily

(These are my notes which I typed in, because I kind of messed up this evening and I wanted to people to hear that what I actually was meaning to say was a lot better than what I actually said and that I was really just lost my place and so if you were paying ATTENTION - I MEAN YOU KEITH! You probably could have figured it out.)

Hey Everybody! Its awesome to be here at the red flag mass and to see a lot of new people and stuff. I want everybody to know that if you didn't pick up a red flag on the way into the gathering space that there are probably some lying around on the floor because some people left them from our practice earlier. I also want to say thanks to Father Tim for letting me to do the homily thing again today and I wish he was here but he and Maryann were going out for coffee.

So HEY! What's all this Red Flag Mass stuff about? Well first of all let me remind you that tomorrow is Labor Day. A lot of people think labor day is about womyn having babies. But that's not what its about. Some other people think that labor day is a day when your supposed to work around the house and stuff. But that's not it either. And some people get confused and think labor day is actually that memorial day thing when we think about people who died from AIDS but they're wrong to.

Labor day is about one thing: SOCIAL JUSTICE! And so labor day is the day that I get to do my Red Flag Mass. Except that usually labor day falls on a Monday and so I have to do the Red Flag Mass the day before. But still its pretty cool because the readings today really tie in with what the Red Flag Mass is all about.

(This is the part I messed up because in my notes it says to breathe deep only I didn't and then I got confused.)

Okay. Today Jesus was eating with all these important people and they were all reclining and stuff which means that they were lying back down. You know because sometimes people call those chairs that are really comfortable recliners. But they didn't have chairs back then because there tables were really short and so you couldn't put a chair under them. H. Robert said that tables probably looked like coffee tables only they didn't have coffee either.

Coffee comes from Columbia which is in South America. A lot of people think Columbia is a state where Washingto D.C. is. But its not.

But back to the point. The fat rich people who probably ate a lot of animals were all crowding around the person that was having the party so he TOLD THEM OFF and said GET OUT OF THE ROOM YOU RICH PEOPLE WHO DON'T WORK FOR A LIVING BUT EXPLOIT PEOPLE. Because that's what capitalists are. They don't work they just steal and exploit and abuse people. A lot of people think that Capital means like the place where the President is. But they're wrong because you spell it differently. Like C-A-P-I-T-L-E is a place but C-A-P-I-T-A-L means property and stuff like money. Property means a place where you live.

How can you own property? That doesn't make any sense because people need a place to live. Right?! So if you say that's my property you are stealing and acting like a baby person because that's what baby people do all the time. They always say Mine Mine Mine! So what capitalists are is people who steal from people and don't want people to have places to live. All republicans are capitalists. They also chop down trees a lot and go to really expensive colleges.

So anyway the red flag reminds us of all the people that republicans killed because they exploited them so much. How many of you saw the Grapes of Wrath? Well H. Robert told me that's what its talking about. Only since it was black and white because it was really old you couldn't have a red flag in that movie because it would just look gray and stuff. So Steinback had to use grapes. What happens when you crush grapes? Well you get wine. And wine is red and like water. So guess what! It's kind of like the blood of all the people who were crushed under the foot of opression. Unless its clear or kind of yellowish. That's because there's usually a lot more about movies than you think.

(I thought that last part up without H. Robert's help.)

So when you look at the red flags I want you to think about who your going to vote for next election. Are you going to vote for someone like Al Gore who is AWESOME and not a republican? or are you going to vote for someone like Rudy Giuillianni who crushes grapes and is a republican? And by crushes grapes I mean that symbolically and stuff.

Happy Labor Day!

Dangers of Evangelisms

Hey! Just a quick note: There's a fine post about how accidental exposure to the name of Jesus has negative health connotations in public spaces. I'm really excited that someone has blown the lid off of this crisis.

Oh, and by the way, I'm afraid that I have to ban the following 'blogs:

Astonished, Yet at Home: PH, C, RT
Shoved To Them: PH, O, C
Creative Minority Report: PH, C+, F, T

Thanks and have a super Sunday!