Monday, January 28, 2008

A Special Message from the President and CEO of HRW Inc

Dear friends,

There has been some confusion it would appear concerning certain aspects of the recent misconduct of one Molly Lovell. It was unfortunate that Molly's instruction into HRW technologies were left somewhat incomplete which is why this individual took it into her own hands to report recent activities in regards to the "vault" and the "interlocking circles" to government authorities. Fortunately, the agents she contacted were in fact sympathetic to HRWs vision and having sedated her, have returned her. The word punishment is harsh, but in this instance, also unfortunately appropriate. We might have been more gentle had she not been one of the elect and therefore, though undertsandably confused, more liable for her actions.

In order to avoid eventualities such as this in the future, we urge you all not to take off your berets at any time. Remember this is HRWs technology. We must remain clear. The berets help block out the harmful alpha-psychic waves that the government sends out through the microwave towers that confuse most people.

Let us recall the principles upon which our vision is founded:
The Primacy of Indoctrinated Knowledge
The Guardianship of the Truth
The Pyramid of Order
The Technology of Conscience
and The Machine of Being

Our plan of action is nearly complete. We forge a new reality from the mind of HRW. From our secret lab outside New Tazewell Tennessee, the armies of Endology shall emerge, marching in rhythmic and sultry yogatistic order. Only one man stands in our way from complete domination of the world. That man is Father Tim Plarvik.

President Chelovell of the Church of Endology

Oh, by the way. Whatever you do, do not reveal these facts to the SPs.

5 comments:

Mychaela the usher said...

Umm, Che,

Can I have my bank account back? and about my e-mail... .

Che' Lovell said...

All illusary wealth has been liquidated and is being held in common for the betterment of the community in accordance with HRW technology directive 01-2008-37.

Are you still wearing your beret? If not please report to bldg 37 for re-education.

Anonymous said...

Why can't we tell the Sisters of Providence (SP) ?

Nils Larssen said...

Dym Tim--

Look ajhiaqu jaswoe E-mails is jh;an ;gf;oiaqwo kvkfnrqiv! And HRW fjoir a;sdkjfpoair logging woei anfgvaufhqjn Walnut groves ahdoihf w sdkjjhd orchards!

not to mention suddenly there is no record of the treaties sdhjowir
kj;aofasjdnf;asdf ssdfoidfpwef,ori8j--Tribal monies jfowesn a Ethnic Flensing?sdkjoweiuh.

ashdfaeu djhie gaiuf photos fjoeih j Dcn Carnehan woierh clerical swimsuit ajfghoiie a "Mychaela" iebg hjeu u Tutu!

We heivnao8956e3jdnr83 nh4uf 38844 33=?/358revenge478h_roberts.exe run

And eutnda;2000 fo us 487aifdjg94 fheuia84f%#&$^j 458 coming back 85va4 tomarrow 859850vju3538&6538
*3nvhsd[:"><5j with torches!

Agent Smith help!

Father Tim said...

Ché - I don't know why you're still angry with me. I presume it is because I wouldn't let you use church funds to buy Che Gueverra's hair. You've got to put that behind you.

Nils - your "email" was very confusing, but I don't judge you for it, because it might be an idiomatic expression of your own valid cultural choices.

Oh - and for all you SOViers, I have been asked to remind you that wearing the beret is a violation of the OCP dress code, and will be dealt with promptly by one of the OCP representatives stationed around the campus.

Peace out!