Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Hey! Celebrate a NEW Church and Stuff

Hey Everybody! I just got this check in the mail from something called HRW Inc. for 273,019,973.21 dollars. I'm not sure why but what the heck!

Come on over tonight and celebrate with me because, I know some of you are not happy with the OCP thing so I am going to start my own Hugo Chavez Catholic Church for Endogenous Peoples with the money. We will be giving away cans of heating oil and stuff.

Also I need people who can play the following musical instruments:

That didgerydoo thing people in Australia play
Tabourine (I can do this pretty well)
Pan Flute
Lots of Drums like empty garbage cans and things
Steel drum
Bag Pipes

Also I need someone to see if they can arrange Imagine by John Lennon for those instruments I just listed above.

I also need banner makers and I need people who can make posters and things and I need people who are really good with making realistic looking statues of people (mostly womyn and stuff - if you can't make realistic statuse of womyn you can make something else if you want but I won't pay you.).

Also I need a lot of people who can clap in time to music and stuff.

I gave Keith 10,000 dollars to buy stuff for the party. He said make sure I give it to him in 5s and 10s for some reason. He said he would make sure it was AWESOME so he is getting our band LUV4U back together which is cool because I haven't seen Molly for awhile. I don;t know if you remember Molly but she was this girl who could touch the back of her head with her foot. I wanted her to try out for the Liturgical Dance Committee but she is a Vegan and stuff and said that she objects to church. She is an AWESOME dancer. She was at UT with me and she did performing dance.

Also, if you are a womyn you need to make sure you are skinny and have long hair and are under twenty-five years old. Unless you are Julia Roberts or Susan Sarandon or somebody really famous.

See YA!


Oh Yah! Father Tim you can come too but leave that Kip guy if you don't mind. And Agent Smith can you bring that video stuff you used to have at my apartment to monitor people who came in and out and stuff that I gave back to you after H. Robert was eaten? Thnx


Che' Lovell said...

Oh yah, I forgot to ask Agent Smith if I need to report this on last years income tax or this years. Normally I don't do my income tax at all because I don't make any nmoney or anything and because of George Bush but because we are about to elect Hillary (she is old and stuff but she is a womyn) I figure I'd go ahead.


Prysbetyra Capaoral Dawn W. said...

Hey--I'm skinny and a wymyn, and those OCP people did bad things to Episcoposa Ima, So I'd like to come! I can play digereedoo AND bagpipes. Plus I'm skinny and vegan!

I'm under 25! But I don't have long hair (the commando thing). I don't know about sculptures, but I do make perfectly accurate and lifelike silicone castings of wymyn, with animatronics! I got a great one of Amy Whinehouse! (She probably doesn't remember though.)

BTW--what did those OCP guys and those other Thugs that Dim(bulb) Tim unleashe do to Ima? She got all the way awake and said that "Sr. Faustina" visited her, but we don't know snyone by that name, and the nurses say nobody came in. And now she says she's not an episcoposa, and wymyn can't be episcoposas, and has called some guys She calls the Priestly Fraternity of Saint Peter to talk with her--I didn't even know priests could be in fraternities, but she keeps using words we don't know and have never heard! We thought she was brain damaged but the doctor says they are real words--like repentance, cumpunction, contrition, absolution (I didn't know she even approved of chemistry) and concupiscience. We think she's been drugged.

Agent Smith said...

I'll be there, and I have twice the amount of camera equipment this time. I also have some leftover astronaut ice cream from halloween--I don't think it ever goes bad, since it comes in that package and everything. I'll stop by Earth Fare on my way over and grab some organic beer.

I would watch out with that money, though. Something sounds a little fishy--if you want I can do an investigation for you.

Agent Smith