Monday, January 21, 2008

Really Irritated

I am very annoyed right now with the OCP presence here. They seem to be unnaturally happy, but at the same time controlling and just a general nuisance. The last time I saw people like these OCP followers was during my investigation of the Heaven's Gate cult. I almost expect them to break out the spiked Kool-Aid at any time.

Today I was monitoring the service from my usual vantage point to watch for signs of a disturbance. One of them had the nerve to try to tell me what to do. He said that I should have been following along in the OCP approved book and singing the songs with the rest of the crowd. I flashed my badge, and he got frightened and backed away.

Father Tim: You'd better tell those OCP'rs to steer clear of me before I decide to arrest them on the charge of interfering with a Federal investigation.

Agent Smith


Father Tim said...

Hey Agent Smith! Thanks for all your help and everything. I'll ask Kip to have his people stand off a little bit.

Oh, by the way, did you know that Senator Teddy Kennedy is the majority stockholder in the OCP? Kip told me to tell you that in case there were any "disagreements."

William J. Bryan, esq. Knox County Prosecutor said...

Agent Smith,

I for one, am glad of your interest in the OCP people, our anti-cult task force has been working an investigation of them for years. It may interest you to know that they are being jointly investigated, along with something called ICEL by the US attorney, for anti-trust violations.

Also, I was wondering if you could help. We have several outstanding warrents for a "John Doe: AKA "Agent Jones", but we can't locate him. Or any record of a supervising agency. This is on a Home invasion/privacy violation matter.

Also--Actually, we believe the armored car was stolen from the Patton Museum--was it's serial# 1365jfmc12E?

Anonymous said...

Agent Smith:

Please maintain appropriate tactical reserve (aka silence) concerning my full identity and whereabouts in response to the bogus charges ("home invasion/privacy violation") mentioned by the individual posing as "william j. bryan, esq., knox county prosecutor."

I have reason to believe that this is one of the burkha-bedecked, radical feminist co-conspirators -- named "Wilhelmina," rather than "William." As you can see here, Knox County does not have a "prosecutor."

Much obliged, sir.
Agent Jones

Saergenta Macha said...

Why is my e-mail and web browser spouting off about SOV2? And Why is my bank account empty? And why is my house listed for sale?

And why is $3200 worth of berets and zerox paper charged to by credit card for delifery to Che?

Che' Lovell said...

Hey it's me Che'!

I think some stuff is happening funny with my computer and stuff. So, I would recommend deleting any emails from me especially if they are stuff like "Hey - Whazzup!" or "FW: Really Funny Joke" or "Document you requested."