Friday, December 21, 2007

Joyous News

I'm sure everyone has been wondering where I've been. Sorry for the secrecy, but there was a special gathering of Gorbertines. I'm still not at liberty to tell where. But it was a most joyous occassion. Based on the current push to force the patriarchal oppressors in Rome to accept Woman Priests, we in the Gorbertine order have taken a giant leap for all syblyngs. In this time of horror of our fellow tree syblyngs where they are forced from their homes and dressed ridiculously and tortured with burning lights, tinsel and small quantities of water we Gorbertines have ordained a syblyng tree as priest. Fellow syblyngs I give you Fr. Aspen surrounded by his deacons....


Fr. Aspen


Obviously we're keeping the location secret as there's nothing the Reagan-Ratzingerist Cabal would like better than to chop down Fr. Aspen and make him into pages for their outlawed missals of the forbidden mass.

6 comments:

Adrienne said...

May God bless and keep Father Aspen safe this holiday season.

Perhaps we could get a group from OCP together and have a sing-a-long in the woods. Of course, that would tip off the others to his location. Maybe not.

ignorant redneck said...

Aspen woood maks fur good BBq, special whin itz used too bbq fawn an turtlle

thee smok flavers it up reel gud an yu kan roest thee turtl egs in the coles.

i gots my chainsaw allgud an am going up

Anonymous said...

Couldn't help noticing that, every year, OCP probably cuts down a whole forest of aspens (or their cousins) to slap together their missalettes, hymnals, accompaniment books, etc..

Ol' "Father Aspen" had better make his rounds with a bodyguard. Otherwise "he" will soon be "martyred."

Agent Jones

Deacon Bernadette Carnahan said...

Why a MALE tree?

Syb Bob said...

Not a male tree. As obviously trees are so evolved they do not have gender. I perhaps made a mistake in calling the syblyng "Fr. Aspen" instead of Dym Aspen. But I thought that the use of the older form would make it easier for the radtraddies to accept.

Deacon Bernadette Carnahan said...

The radtraddies, sadly, won't accept it unless we chop down the new ordinands and turn them into kneeling benches. Or a reredos in a pinch.