Thursday, December 6, 2007

Support SOV2

Hey everybody! Well, as you may know, SOV2 has fallen on hard financial times. While we have been saving a lot of $$$ by getting discounts from OCP for our hymnals and bulletins, some of the "ancillary" costs have really been eating into our collection. The certification training for our ushers was very expensive, and the special audits that OCP provides aren't cheap either. Also, to be compliant to the OCP's rigorous musical standards, we had to hire a number of local musicians to supplement Todd's various choirs. To cap it all off, it's very expensive to feed all those Palestinians and Undocumented Guest Workers who are living on the SOV2 campus. I wish that whole loaves & fishes thing would work for me! (I tried it earlier, but sure enough, there was still only one fish and five loaves).

The last straw is that Dr. Argot is getting a divorce from Mz. Argot, who as you may know, was one of our local TV news personalities before she hooked up with our benefactor. Apparently Mz. Argot was having some sort of affair with Clyde Hummins, our groundskeeper. But that might just be a rumor, and even if it is true, you can't blame Clyde. I mean, have you seen Mz Argot? Hubba hubba! Anyway, Dr. Argot is a little upset with SOV2 right now, even though I already approved his annulment. So I'm a little nervous about approaching him for money. So anyway, I would like you to consider starting something called "tripletithing", where you basically give 30% of your aftertax earnings to SOV2. This is an investment in your future, people!

We're going all out to save costs as well. I've retained a consultant from OCP to help us manage our finances. I had to drain the $100k out of our rainy day fund to pay the consultant fee, but I'm sure that they will be able to help us get back on a firm financial footing. Also, we're doing some fundraisers. This month, we will begin selling a line of clothes featuring famous catholics. There's an image below of the first feature, which is called "Hugoroos." Please purchase several pairs - they're only $17.99 each. Thanks for your support!

7 comments:

ignorant redneck said...

Dimtim,
this gie just gived me a summonses sayin the nayboors was suin us onna counna the air polushun frum the tyres an the roads beein blocked an fallin proprrrrrrty val yous an ovencrowden an thes other gys come with mimiergation truks an badges and some furryn feller sayed thet hugo not gonn be no undewhre onna counna diploe automatik protesters an the game warden tuk mi club an Syster Dawns still in thet long skirt think an maiks me pray wit beeds an I is confessused an scred of the nayboors.

Nils Larssen said...

Dym Tim,

Here is our donation of $57.18, just trying to help, now get offf our parking lot. PS--that truck is still smouldering.

Che' Lovell said...

Hey Father Tim!

I have a really great idea to help raise money! We should do a calendar thing with various people from the SOV2 community posing. We could call it "In the Spirit - 2008 Callendar"

But I don't think maybe everybody. Certainly not Todd or anything. I mean I am thinking of pretty much maybe just one or two of the womyn who aren't ashamed of their femininity at all. I mean probably some of the PETA girls protesting and stuff.

Che'

Mark said...

These are cool, but I'm holding out for the Nancy Pelosi version.

Goofyhooey said...

Looks great. Send me some. My address and phone number are on my home website.

Otherwise, what next? Hillary Hugaroos? or, NARAL hairshirts? How about U.N. Huggies that make you feel so warm?

Deacon Bernadette Carnahan said...

I'm disappointed. Nothing for us womyn-identified womyn yet? Perhaps I can whip up some thongs with Sr. Joan Chittister on them.

Paulinus said...

That's a nasty stain on your underpants