Sunday, August 12, 2007

Why I have taken Legal Action

Hello.

That imbecile Che has finally managed to hook up his computer to my electronic interface and I am once again able to communicate with a wider community. Not that I actually wish to communicate with those of you who "voted" in that little poll to hand my body over to the Scientologists and have me turned into an amusing laboratory experiment.

I will not speak of you as to what exactly transpired in my consciousness after drinking the "frog tea" that Krystal assured me would "cure me of every ill" but I assure you that as my life passed me by I finally came to my senses in regards to what exactly constitutes humanity. I now see revolts me intensely. Why I ever, when I was in my body, believed that what people needed were hugs and soft pats on the backs I will never understand. What most of you need is a good slap. Come to your senses people! The state I am in is directly a result of the pernicious "pro-life" views of a deluded minority.

In my book Prickly Topics I took a very soft approach to dealing with the complicated issues of the day. Cohabitation, contraception, womyn priests, the role of the papacy. Oh, I have no doubt I was right on all these things, but I was so soft and gentle. I see now how wrong it was of me. What is required in this world is actually severe punishment. You, the people of SOV2 as agents of John Paul II's philosophy deserve severe punishment.

I am sure that very few of you know at all how painfully boring it is to be a brain in a jar. Working hard at a catholic university for 40 years to promote what you call "the culture of death" you would think if there were justice I would not be "rewarded" by being continuously subjected to the worst kind of funk music and Julia Roberts and Cheech and Chong movies 24 hours a day. You don't know how many times I have seen Pretty Woman and Up in Smoke?

I happen to know there are people at this faith community with deep pockets and those deep pockets will now pay. I demand that if I am to be a brain in a jar that at least I have the best jar and the best electronic equipment available and some better attendents than this tacky beret wearing fashion industry reject. That is why I am suing SOV2 and Dr. Argot for $100,000,000.

Rest assured, in the mean time I plan to exercise my frustrations by continuing my mission here to prevent young people from falling into the trap called asceticism. What young people need is the ability to freely explore their feminity without hindrance and to use whatever chemicals are necessary to relieve their anxieties. And they need to be fully committed to the battle against the institutions that seek to restrain them. I may just be a brain in a jar but I will not give up my struggle until I am potted on the steps of the Capital proclaiming in front of 100,000 young faces their rights to do as they want, whenever, however, wherever, and with whatever, and whoever they want.

H. Robert

10 comments:

Che' Lovell said...

Okay H. Robert I'm taking away your interent priveleges. Father Tim, I'm sorry about that because he said he wasn't going to be all grumpy and stuff but he really hasn't been very friendly.

Che'

Anonymous said...

I'd love to see the judge who gets the suit ... from a brain in a jar. And the lawyer who takes it to him... how man volunteers will there be for THAT????

Anonymous said...

Should have been, "how manY volunteers..."

Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC said...

Dear heretic's-brain-in-a-jar-unnatural-monstrosity,

If ye be hinting that thoust would like to exercise what the SOVers call thine "right to die," I would like to offer up my services. I am practiced in all the deadly arts and can send thee to thy fiery abode posthaste.

I have never killed a brain in a jar before...I thinkest a good swipe at the jar with my sword, and then punting thy freed brain in a bucket full of acid would be a most excellent and painless procedure.

Cordially,
Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC

Rae said...

Since his electronic interface (somehow) allows him to watch movies, I suggest a forced viewing of The Passion of the Christ...!

XXXXXX said...

Che, if it's OK with you, I would like to come by later and take some photos of the computer equipment that the Scientologists used to resurrect H. Robert's brain. I can take the pictures without flash, too, if the light would disturb delicate optical nerves

Agent Smith

Adoro te Devote said...

You're not a brain, you're an ass. And you have two lobes, just like your biological representation...and you spew the same thing.

People, put this guy out of his misery, bury him decently, pray for his soul...and spare the world from more tripe.

Thank you.

Che' Lovell said...

Hey Adoro,

So anyway I thought you were all about democracy and things because the people voted.

Yah I know H Robert is kind of hard to get to know and everything but I wonder about that kind of talk which is pretty much the way republcans like Anne Coulter and Bill O'Reilly talk a lot.

Anyway I put up with all his stuff all day long because no one else will deal with him and yah he's always saying stuff like "How many times are you going to watch Purple Rain and calling me a moron. But he's got good points too. Maybe if you tried to talk to him he'd be nicer.

Che'

Miguel Cuthbert said...

I for one voted to let H. Robert go on to his judgment as I am sure most pro-life people also did. Now that he is "alive" again I wonder if the method by which he is sustained constitutes "extraordinary means." The devil does tempt us.

Miguel

Adoro te Devote said...

che ' ~ You're right, that was harsh on my part, but the truth all too often is harsh. Go speak to Fr. Juno...he will help you understand why it's necessary to allow this disembodied part go back to his Creator.

It is the merciful thing to do...not just for him, but for the sake of all of us.