Saturday, August 18, 2007

Horrible Mauling of one of Marty's Masterpieces!

Hey! Well, you won't believe the vitriol out there! As a dear friend of Marty, I take particular umbrage at this horrible parody of his hauntingly beautiful hymn "Gather Us In." This was sent to me by a former faith communicant from my old parish in Boston (Shrine of the Holy Noosphere). I also take umbrage as a proud Bostonian. This is an example of the sort of unbridled hatred that exists over there on the Catholic Right:

Gather Us In (For a Boston Faith Community on Holy Thursday)

Here in this nice liturgical setting
We circumambulate round the divine
Comfor’ble yes, tho’ we’re not forgetting
We gather here for the crackers and wine

Gather us in, self-righteous but corny
Gather us in, and force us to stay
Aged queer priests, perpetually horny
Tho’ chasing the altar boys don’t call them gay

Don’t you just love a pair of maracas
Shaken beside an electric guitar
Associate pastor straight from Caracas
Lib’ration theology preached from afar

Gather us in, the Catholic Thinkers
Gather us in, Perpetual Reform
Adore above all liturgical tinkers
Everything’s normal except for the norm

Our ambo’s adorned with rainbow felt banners
Hanging there since Johnny Kennedy’s reign
Teddy his brother once showed us his manners
In the front pew, you can still see the stain

Gather us in, the sad faithless Yankees
Gather us in, the Catholic elite
Sing Halelujah, here take my hanky
It’s Holy Thursday you must wash my feet
It’s Holy Thursday you must wash my feet
It’s Holy Thursday
You must


Heather said...

wow. i left the catholic church 18 years ago, and even i found that offensive and mean. if it weren't for the sweet, tree-hugging lefties in the flock, i don't think that i would talk to any catholics at all. okay... except for my grandmother... and my dad. fine, honestly, i never could exclude anybody on account of politics or religion, but that was still mean, and the writer deserves a good stern talking to!
keep the faith, father.

Cygnus said...

I saw nothing offensive about this; in fact, it's quite amusing. In an era of lame Catholic tunes, "Gather Us In" ranks just above Tom Conry's dreck.

Adoro te Devote said...

Oh, I've got a MUCH better version than THAT!

I don't know who the author is, so if anyone does, please let me know:

Gather Us In

Here in this place, our comfortable parish,
All of the statues carried away,
See in each face a vacuous visage,
Brought here by guilt or by R.C.I.A.

Gather us in, by Beammer or Hummer,
Gather us in, so we can feel good,
Come to us now in this barren Zen temple,
With only a shrub and an altar of wood.

We are the young, our morals a mystery,
We are the old, who couldn't care less,
We have been warned throughout all of history,
But we enjoy this liturgical mess.

Gather us in, our radical pastor,
Gather us in, our unveiled nun,
Call to us now, with guitars and bongos,
Hang up your cellphones and join in the fun!

Here we will take some wine and some water,
Whether it changes, we really don't care.
But when the Sign of Peace comes, our pastor,
Jumps from the altar and hugs like a bear.

Gather us in, the privileged and snobby,
Gather us in, the liberal elite,
Help us to form our personal Credo,
Give us a choice between white bread and wheat