Guide to Visions

Hey! Well, one of our readers, none other than George the Organist from SSLI Faith Community, had some questions about interpreting visions, and I helped him out a bit in one of the "comboxes" on a previous "post."

But I thought - Hey! I bet a lot of people have questions like this! So here it is:

A POST VATICAN-II GUIDE TO INTERPRETING VISIONS

The first thing to realize is that the spirit only communicates with you through yourself. So if you're seeing things, you're not really seeing things. You just think you're seeing things.

So if more than one person thinks they saw something, then it must be a hallucination and not a vision. Like that thing in Fatima. Clearly those children were either hallucinating or made the whole thing up as a way of trying to work through their frustrations at growing up in an oppressive Catholic patriarchy.

Another good rule is that if the vision contains humyn figures like Mary or Jesus or God, then it is really a hallucination in which a tortured persyn is just projecting out their own internal archtypes. This kind of thing used to happen a lot in the olden days before modern psychiatry.

There is an exception to this rule, which is that if the person you are seeing is Dorothy Day or Leonard Nimoy, then it's a real vision and you should listen carefully to what they say. I saw a vision where both Dorothy Day and Leonard Nimoy told me that I had to migrate from my beautiful Boston faith community to this lousy southern town full of rednecks and radtrad Catholics. So you can see that this is something to be taken seriously.

Finally, if you should happen to have a vision in which Dorothy Day and Leonard Nimoy are riding a pony who is wearing Birkenstocks, then LISTEN CAREFULLY TO WHAT THE PONY HAS TO SAY! I cannot emphasize this enough.

I hope that this helps. As you know, I've made an exhaustive study of visions and hallucinations, and SOV2 keeps several psychiatrics, psychologists, and psychopharmecologists on staff to help us with lots of issues, so I really know what I'm talking about here.

Peace out!

Dym Plarvik