Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Plenary Indulgence 4U!

Hey! Wow! Our "Hit Counter" has risen over 10,000! In celebration of this event, I am granting all readers of this 'blog a plenary indulgence of 10,000 hours. Basically this means that you can do whatever you want for the next 10,000 hours without any consequences. In the bad old days before V2, you used to have to pay to get a plenary indulgence - the priests kept them for themselves so that they could misbehave and not have to worry about it. So for the next 10,000 hours, I want all of you to live life to the fullest - enjoy all of those things that you think are "uncool" or "sins."

Oh, and by the way, if you vote for me for Bishop of Knoxville, and I win, I'm going to give everyone who voted for me a 100,000 hour plenary indulgence! Hey! Maybe this Catholicism thing isn't all bad, huh?

As for me, I'm giving myself the indulgence too, so I'm off to put H. Robert's brain bottle on the gas stove to see what happens.


Pastor Tyrone of "New Life Awake! Pentecostal church" said...

Listen to me, foul papists! I abjure thee, come out of the evil SPV2 church! Come out, I say! BE GONE FROM ITS EVIL INFLUENCES! SHRED THE CHAINS OF BONDAGE THAT THE EVIL ROMAN WHORE HAS LAID UPON YOU AND EMBRACE THE FREEDOM OF GOD, Amen! Hallejuah, but He is a good God! Can you hear me, my brothers and sisters? LEAVE the foul Babylon in which you find yourselves and BE HEALED by the Almighty! PRAISE GOD, Hallejuah!

Leave behind the brains-in-the-jar, A-MEN, leave behind the rule-leveling Priest with his man made dogmas, aaaa-A-MEN!, and come into the LIGHT OF THE DAY!


St Thistle Peacetrain said...

Paster Tyrone,
We religious people of VII have already broken the chains of the past medieval RC church! We are a freeloving peacefilled people.
So please join the Sisters of Ursa Minor and I for a indulgence 10,000 hr orgy of prayerfullness.
ps..we used to be called the Sisters of St Ursula, but we changed it to reflect a more cosmic oneness with the universe!
blessed be!

Father Tim said...

Hey Todd! That Pastor Tyrone character of yours is hilarious! Remember when you did that at the SOV2 picnic and had all the stuffed shirts from SSLI busting a gut? Ha ha ha! Keep it up! It's too bad the people reading the 'blog can't hear the funny voice you do with that, or see the rubber snake that you have for "snake handling". Maybe we can "post" some "vid" of you doing the Pastor Tyrone schtick - I'll have to ask Ngyuen about it.

Peace out!

Dym Plarvik

Pastor Tyrone of "New Life Awake! Pentecostal church" said...

I am a true Christian, and a REAL PERSON Plarvik, not some schtick by your papist friends! I have been blessed by the prayer of Jabez and so I have PLENTY OF MONEY AND BOUNTY to use to undermine your evil designs! I should also mention that I am a self-made millionaire--PRAISE GOD!--and I have a great sex life with my beautiful Christian wife--all because I am a true Christian, praise God, Hallejuah!

I intend to come to your Romanist church and break out all its stain glass windows, chop up all your FOUL IDOLS and STATUES and build a bonfire with your Latin scorcery books! PRAISE GOD! HAllejuah! If I have some spare time--and all TIME IS GOD's AMEN!--I will burn all your foul indulgences and FREE the women locked in your basements that you use for your sexual pleasures!!

I'll be bearing the WORD OF GOD in the KING'S ENGLISH so don't try to stop me! GOD IS BEHIND ME! PRAISE GOD, HALLEJUAH!

smokeofsatan said...

SOV2 already did all that, man! You need to get with the signs of the times or something, dude!

Father Tim said...

Hey Todd! You should really make sure you write all this down so that you can remember it for the SOV2 talent show! This material is gold!

Keep the laffs coming!

-Dym Plarvik

paramedicgirl said...

These must be the indulgences of the ME generation....