Friday, February 29, 2008

I am not a real person

Hello.

A recent anonymous poster has asked the question about the legitimacy of this web-site and whether or not we are a really and truly Catholic Christians.

I know that the Spirit of Vatican 2 Catholic Faith Community closely resembled an actual church and that many have been "taken in" as it were. So many faith communities have sermons delivered by brains in jars, red-communists FARC gorilla warriors, vegetarian monkish communities, spirit mazes possessed by the spirits of dead mice, human sacrifices performed by redneck witches, and Scientology based celebrity crazed socio-ecological youth groups... that it is easy to be duped into believing SOV2 is a real place.

That of course was our plan. To fool people into thinking we actually existed in order to further our secret agenda which is namely... to bring down the Catholic Church from within.

You caught us. We are ashamed of ourselves.

That is... we would be ashamed of ourselves if we actually existed.

The fact is I do not exist. I have never existed and I will never exist. There is no me at all. I am not typing this... it is all a hallucination brought about by excessive devotion to the Pope. I am just a phantom of your imagination.

In fact you do not exist either. You are an illusion in a book by Richard Bach who is actually only a discarded idea in a book by Anthony De Mello, who in turn was actually a momentary whim of Charles Curran. But Charles Curran does not exist either. He is merely the confluence of patterns within the texture of the noosphere.

If you have enjoyed the self-deception especially the more surrealistic tongue-in-cheek, pathos-riddled angstitic oddity of many activities, please stay tuned for important future announcements. If you are one who believes that Barak Obama represents Real Change for America and thinks George Clooney's opinions on any particular subject of national importance are worth a moment's consideration... please go away.

Che' Lovell

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you aren't real--where did I get this rash?

Cygnus said...

The word for today is "satire." Learn it. Live it. Love it.

H. Robert Williams said...

Do not believe anything Mr Che Lovell says. By now the beret he is wearing almost certainly has completely taken over his personality.

Anonymous said...

Father Tim must be real; he's just a normal post-VatII parish priest. Some of the rest of you are a bit extreme though.

TSO said...

You had me at Richard Bach. Very well-written, whoever you are.